ImThinkingWTF Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 Ive been dating this guy for the past month. He calls every once in a while just to talk, and to set up dates. He sent me a text message the other day that said he was thinking about me. and he called the next night. Ive had a busy week--family is visiting, and i told him i would call him when they leave. Ive only called him once...out of the month that ive known him, and have never initiated texts. And I think about him connnnnnstantly. but, i was explaining the situation to my friend and she told me to call him...if i wait until my family leaves it will have been almost a week since ive talked to him. the longest weve gone with out any contact was 4 days. sooo, I know how I feel but, when i try and look at things from his perspective, im afraid it looks like im either playing games or not interested. i honestly dont even know why i dont call him..i just dont want to bother him. sooooooooooooo should i call him and ask him if he wants to do something this weekend??
Phateless Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 lol. Yes!!! so lemme get this straight... you NEVER call him or initiate anything but you really like him and think about him all the time? How in the hell are we supposed to know how you feel? lol, this makes me wonder how many opportunities with women I've blown because I didn't pursue them enough.
Author ImThinkingWTF Posted December 17, 2007 Author Posted December 17, 2007 hahaha....well...all these damn rules i dont know when im "allowed" to call. i need your help phateless!!!!
Phateless Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 hahaha....well...all these damn rules i dont know when im "allowed" to call. i need your help phateless!!!! Screw the rules! Call when you want!. Just don't come on too strong. If he's comfortable pursuing you, allow it to stay that way. But calling him once a week or so is not gonna screw anything up.
EYECANDY000 Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 This has you playing games written all over it... Just call whenever or text to say hi.. At least make some initiative... Hes not a mind reader, and neither is anyone else except Dionne Warwick and Cleo
D-Lish Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 Just remember that most men actually like to do the pursuing. It's not game playing to remain a little aloof in the beginning- things are still new! Why not send him a text this week to say hello and hope his week is going well. That is letting him know you are thinking of him without going overboard. Then, when your family leaves, call him as you said you would.
Cabbage Patch Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 I'm like that too, all these stupid rules get me paranoid so I hardly initiate anything these days and sometimes i think it works against us girls who think we have to let the boys do all the work!! I just dont want to come on too strong, even after 7 months but I'm just in the habit now, guess it could be worse and be the opposite hey!
D-Lish Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 There's so much hype about playing games and following rules when it comes to dating that it has made everything so over complicated. I constantly over think things now when I meet someone- how long to wait before calling- how to not seem so over eager...but still let him know I am interested. Those initial 3 months are always so daunting. It's never wrong to take things slow. I think sending a quick text lets him know you are thinking about him- still giving him the green light, but not seeming over eager. At some point, he may see your reluctance to answer him as disinterest and back away.
Author ImThinkingWTF Posted December 18, 2007 Author Posted December 18, 2007 well, apparently it wasnt me that was playing games....i was getting strung along. Talked to him yesterday...the conversation seemed to be going well. when i asked him if he wanted to get together sometime soon i gt the "we'll see" with no other attempt to figure anything out. Im done. but not before i email him asking him wtf his deal is.
D-Lish Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 I think his ego is probably just a little bruised because he has been making attempts and hasn't felt is was reciprocated. If he left it at "we'll see"...then you should leave it at that and wait for him to contact you. I think his response is designed to evoke a reaction from you... so don't be predictable and give him one!
ElvenPriestess Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 I agree, since he didn't get much response he was thinking "wtf" the way you are now. With the "we'll see" I'd say something like "Great, just let me know when you're schedule is free." Play it off, play it cool.
D-Lish Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 I agree, since he didn't get much response he was thinking "wtf" the way you are now. With the "we'll see" I'd say something like "Great, just let me know when you're schedule is free." Play it off, play it cool. Aggggrrreeeeeed. Cool as a cucumber. I had a guy I played tag with for a while- and he came up with the "we'll see" after I had been unable to make a couple dates (he asked me two hours beforehand....come on!) I eventually asked him and he told me "we'll see"... lol. So, I left it and waited..... and within the week he contacted me and asked me out on a date giving me 3 days notice. I accepted...lol. So, just wait it out. He is expecting you to come after him!
Author ImThinkingWTF Posted December 18, 2007 Author Posted December 18, 2007 haha...too late. i already sent him an email. ive never turned down a date, and i havent been running or not answering when he calls. anyway, hes hung up on his ex gf and is going to visit her this weekend. sooo yeah. no need to play it cool and thats the 2nd time hes given me the we'll see response and i havent seen him in 2 weeks.
D-Lish Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 no! You have to forget about him then. I didn't know that part of it. Trying to date someone who is hung up on an ex will only bring you heartache. He can't possibly be ready to date until he is over her.
ElvenPriestess Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Yes, I also didn't realize she was in the picture. Dismiss all my advice, and leave the whole thing alone. You can do WAAAAAAAY better.
Author ImThinkingWTF Posted December 18, 2007 Author Posted December 18, 2007 yeah, i thought maybe i was wrong about him not being over her...but, i wasnt. I would neeeeever be able to be with someone that would leave me in a heartbeat to be with his ex. ugh. I realllly liked him...but, I am not going to be put on the backburner. and that exactly what i told him. Im sure i wont get a response but, there is no way i would have been able to not say anything. :-(
D-Lish Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 I think you did the right thing by telling him that. It's letting him know you respect yourself too much to allow yourself to be a backburner girl. I think it was great you said so too. I'm sorry you liked him and it hurts.
ElvenPriestess Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 BUT aren't you glad you're done wasting your time on this? The pain will subside, and then you can move on to bigger and better. And smile, because in 6 days it's Christmas eve. Woo! I'm baking baked apples:-)
Author ImThinkingWTF Posted December 18, 2007 Author Posted December 18, 2007 yes, Im glad things ended like this now instead of in 2 or 3 months when ive actually developed feelings for him. Hes a nice guy, and Ive been in his position before. There is no way a new girl can compete with an ex. ever. haha, and no matter how hot he is...Im not going to be strung along.
ElvenPriestess Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 At the same time I'm sure you're ten times better than her and he's losing out so *raspberry tongue* to him. ;-)
Author ImThinkingWTF Posted December 20, 2007 Author Posted December 20, 2007 well, i got a response. a nice one...ugh, someone please tell me not to believe him... Why am i so gullible? He is so freaking nice......
Legend Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 well, i got a response. a nice one...ugh, someone please tell me not to believe him... Why am i so gullible? He is so freaking nice...... Don't believe him! It's a bad idea: If that's not convincing.... think about the impending doom of the giant light bulb.
Author ImThinkingWTF Posted December 20, 2007 Author Posted December 20, 2007 hahahaha...that was scary!!! is it possible that i was wrong though? no....ok....damn it.
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