fral945 Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 Do any of you think that the importance of looks to a man are in any way analogous to the importance of how much money earned to a woman? I'm just curious. I'm probably opening up a can of worms, lol, but I had to ask. I see a lot of posts from men on here talking about how their wife has gained weight or doesn't take care of herself anymore, causing issues with the relationship (specifically the sex life). Would any of you women say that if, for example, you married a man who made x amount of money and you became accustomed to a certain lifestyle, would it cause strife for you if you husband decided he didn't like his work and got a lowering paying job, causing you to have to cut back on your lifestyle? Would this cause problems in your relationship, or has it for any of you? I realize, just like not all men are set on looks, not all women care about money. But I would imagine most men would want an attractive women who takes care of herself physically, while most women would want a man who earns good money (or has a good earning potential) for a long time. Maybe I'm way off the mark, but it has always seemed like a good parallel to me. Looking forward to hearing your responses.
KittenMoon Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 You're right! It's totally like this... in the shallow end of the dating pool. >hums JAWS theme<
Lizzie60 Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 Hum.. not sure but what I know for sure is that money gives a certain charm... I'm thinking about P. Péladeau, head of Quebecor (passed away a few years ago).. this man was sooo ugly and he was married/divorced 3 times, to the most beautiful women... He was filthy rich.. but over that.. he was extremely intelligent.. so I would say that intelligence sometimes lead to good jobs...therefore more power...therefore more money... therefore more beautiful women to choose from...
lindya Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 Would any of you women say that if, for example, you married a man who made x amount of money and you became accustomed to a certain lifestyle, would it cause strife for you if you husband decided he didn't like his work and got a lowering paying job, causing you to have to cut back on your lifestyle? Would this cause problems in your relationship, or has it for any of you? I wouldn't want to be married to an unhappy whore who was chained, by greed, to a working environment he loathed. That would cause me more strife than anything else I can think of. I realize, just like not all men are set on looks, not all women care about money. But I would imagine most men would want an attractive women who takes care of herself physically, while most women would want a man who earns good money (or has a good earning potential) for a long time. Equally, I think most men nowadays would want a wife who was able to earn a living, and most women would want a man who took a reasonable amount of care of himself physically. The problems probably set in when people dwell less on what they need in order to be happy, and more on what kind of return they should get from what they perceive to be their assets...whether those assets are comprised of annual salary or physical beauty.
Trialbyfire Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 I expect a man to be able to earn enough to support himself in the lifestyle he wants, now and in the future. Beyond that, my earnings are sufficient to support the lifestyle I want, for myself. I will not support or be supported by an SO. When I have children, with or without an SO, I've ensured that there's sufficient to support myself and the child/children. If there's an SO involved, I expect him to buck up his portion of child support. Perhaps I'll continue working, perhaps not. When the time comes, I'll make the decision, at that point. My point is, if he makes the decision that he wants to back off on his career, that's his choice. I just expect that he has sufficient forethought to ensure that he's capable of upholding his financial commitments. If he's the type of guy who's going to quit in a hissy fit, he's not someone I would be interested in. I can only respect someone who's fiscally responsible. As for physical beauty being of utmost importance to men, I will have to agree. Men will forgive a lot, if the girl's hot...
Storyrider Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 I've decided my goal is to become financially independent so that money need not be a factor if I were to ever divorce and/or remarry. It might take ten years, but that is my plan.
norajane Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Would any of you women say that if, for example, you married a man who made x amount of money and you became accustomed to a certain lifestyle, would it cause strife for you if you husband decided he didn't like his work and got a lowering paying job, causing you to have to cut back on your lifestyle?The question assumes the woman is totally dependent on the man's income for their lifestyle. In many cases, woman also have an income, and some of us have a very high income of our own, so if his income changes, our lifestyle need not change dramatically. Also, even if a woman is not earning income, she can always GET a job and earn income, so again, lifestyle can be maintained to some degree. So she may not be upset if he chooses a different line of work and earns less than he did. Whereas a man who marries a woman primarily for her looks, will eventually become disappointed because there is nothing she can do about the effects of aging...short of surgery, of course, although that has its limits.
brothermartin Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Judging from my experiences, money is more important to women than looks are to men. Even a shallow man can fall for a woman that would only rate a 4 or 5 on a 1 to 10 scale.(I hate those) But when it comes to women and money, let me just say that on that same scale, no matter what she says in the beginning, the man would be mistaken to think that love will conquer all.
Rooster_DAR Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Take a venture into the social gatherings of doctors and lawyers, you will get your answer there.
brothermartin Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Take a venture into the social gatherings of doctors and lawyers, you will get your answer there. Yeah. Couldn't have said it better myself.
Trialbyfire Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Judging from my experiences, money is more important to women than looks are to men. Even a shallow man can fall for a woman that would only rate a 4 or 5 on a 1 to 10 scale.(I hate those) But when it comes to women and money, let me just say that on that same scale, no matter what she says in the beginning, the man would be mistaken to think that love will conquer all. Let's pretend that there was a man who owns a 15,000 sq/ft home with a Murcielago and a number of other cars in the garage. Do you believe that all women would date him? Especially if he's good-looking and well-dressed?
brothermartin Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Let's pretend that there was a man who owns a 15,000 sq/ft home with a Murcielago and a number of other cars in the garage. Do you believe that all women would date him? Especially if he's good-looking and well-dressed? No. Not ALL women. But I'm sure that he could have his pick of supermodels if he puts his money to it. What's a Murcielago?
Trialbyfire Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 No. Not ALL women. But I'm sure that he could have his pick of supermodels if he puts his money to it. What's a Murcielago? Let's pretend he's a complete smarm and women know this. Do you suppose the same number of women would still date him? It's a model of Lamborghini.
brothermartin Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Let's pretend he's a complete smarm and women know this. Do you suppose the same number of women would still date him? It's a model of Lamborghini. I've seen some women marry and bear the children of complete smarms. So yes, if he puts his money to it, I think so.
Mustang Sally Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Take a venture into the social gatherings of doctors and lawyers, you will get your answer there. Ok. I guess I'm daft this evening. What's your point here?
Trialbyfire Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 I've seen some women marry and bear the children of complete smarms. So yes, if he puts his money to it, I think so. Guess again. The guy I mentioned is a real person I know. I've turned him down more than once, as well as a number of other women that I know. Yes, he does get dates, but it's usually the more naive early twenty girls or the office bimbettes, who either don't know him very well or haven't bothered to find out about his reputation.
brothermartin Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Guess again. The guy I mentioned is a real person I know. I've turned him down more than once, as well as a number of other women that I know. Yes, he does get dates, but it's usually the more naive early twenty girls or the office bimbettes, who either don't know him very well or haven't bothered to find out about his reputation. Ok. I stand corrected. You and those women you know are the exception. But if said guy polished his rep a little bit, do you really think that women would choose the pizza delivery guy over Mr. Moneybags?
Trialbyfire Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Ok. I stand corrected. You and those women you know are the exception. But if said guy polished his rep a little bit, do you really think that women would choose the pizza delivery guy over Mr. Moneybags? Oh come now. I'm talking about an office full of random women. The point is, that money isn't everything to women in general. You can blame it on money or you can start looking at why confident men get the girls. As for the pizza delivery guy, he's not self-supporting to the level of my lifestyle. I will never downgrade my lifestyle to support someone else. I will also never expect someone else to support me.
brothermartin Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Oh come now. I'm talking about an office full of random women. The point is, that money isn't everything to women in general. You can blame it on money or you can start looking at why confident men get the girls. As for the pizza delivery guy, he's not self-supporting to the level of my lifestyle. I will never downgrade my lifestyle to support someone else. I will also never expect someone else to support me. Yeah, I see your point. Sorry. I'm just a little bitter right now.
Trialbyfire Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Yeah, I see your point. Sorry. I'm just a little bitter right now. Understood. I was there a number of months ago. Just don't let it drive your perception of women forever.
underpants Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Ok. I stand corrected. You and those women you know are the exception. But if said guy polished his rep a little bit, do you really think that women would choose the pizza delivery guy over Mr. Moneybags? I am the idiot that would go for the pizza delivery guy over the 'God complex' doctor with too many toys...looking to add to his collection. I am very quiet about my assets. I know I will be okay. Maybe it is a Southern thing to be hush about such things. I don't need to be validated about what I know I have. However, it is telling to me to see others gravitate once they figure it out. If I have to have money to be your friend...well, you are someone to watch out for. Plain and simple.
brothermartin Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Understood. I was there a number of months ago. Just don't let it drive your perception of women forever. I'm trying not to. But it's hard when you see so many jackasses with the great girls just because they can afford a Porshe, and I'm alone because I'm just a working-class joe. Of course there confident. They can afford to be. I was confident too. Once. Then she decided she wasn't going to "downgrade" either. So much for being confident.
Trialbyfire Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 I'm trying not to. But it's hard when you see so many jackasses with the great girls just because they can afford a Porshe, and I'm alone because I'm just a working-class joe. Of course there confident. They can afford to be. I was confident too. Once. Then she decided she wasn't going to "downgrade" either. So much for being confident. There are a lot of men who are working-class joe's who are confident and good with women. If your ex was aware of who you were before dating and changed her mind partway, that's her burden to bear. It's not a reflection on who you were and still are.
norajane Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 I'm trying not to. But it's hard when you see so many jackasses with the great girls just because they can afford a Porshe, and I'm alone because I'm just a working-class joe. Of course there confident. They can afford to be. I was confident too. Once. Then she decided she wasn't going to "downgrade" either. So much for being confident. Newsflash: those aren't 'great' girls.
KittenMoon Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 I'm trying not to. But it's hard when you see so many jackasses with the great girls just because they can afford a Porshe, and I'm alone because I'm just a working-class joe. Of course there confident. They can afford to be. I was confident too. Once. Then she decided she wasn't going to "downgrade" either. So much for being confident. Aw hon, don't think all girls are like this. I'll admit, I loved that my ex could waste a little money on my now and again. Take me to dinner, etc etc. BUT I also hated when he'd try to buy me really expensive things. Once, he asked me something concerning marriage, and I asked why he asked it (I forget what it was exactly) and he said it was because "he needed to know if he was going to have to support me." Uh. No! I can and was supporting myself entirely. And I always will at least try to (there are exceptions of course for being a stay at home mom, etc). Most women want a financially stable guy- it doesn't matter if hundreds are bursting out of his wallet.
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