maynicholas Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 Ok, so ego guy cancelled our date for tonight. Which is fine because this means I can finish my stuff for today w/o a time restriction. But here is my question... I hadn't heard from in him a few days so I texted him to see if we were on for tonight. He got back to me that something popped up and he can't do it for the next couple of days but countered w/ Wednesday. I haven't replied yet because I'm not sure what to say. On one hand I want to reply with a 'nevermind then' while the side of me wants to reply with a 'sure'. I know he is definitely not my long term man. He works as a right now man for me. I like going out with him since no one else is asking right now. And I don't want to lose that option. However, given the fact that he will never work for me in the long run, should I just take this oportunity to cut my ties now? I like having a FWB thing, but I would hate for his ego to think I was really into him and would put up with anything to be with him (in case you hadn't read my previous posts about him- he is very into himself & his accomplishments- slightly narcissistic). What would you do?
Jilly Bean Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 His ego already knows you are totally into him. The fact that he can cancel a date on you last minute (and you had to pursue him to find this out), put you off for days for a redo, and you will still see him is confirmation on that. Personally, I think he's treating you like a bit of a doormat. Girlie, I say man-up, and move on with someone else. This guy seems to be a ton of work for what reward?
Author maynicholas Posted December 17, 2007 Author Posted December 17, 2007 But the truth is I'm not that into him. That is why I don't care that he cancelled. Other wise I would be mad and upset and this would have been an entirely different post. I gave it a bit of thought over the last week and realized that in my mind we are FWB. He is a friend, he is free to date others, a drinking buddy, and well frankly- I need him for the sex since I'm not getting it else where (a girl has got needs too you know ).
Jilly Bean Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 Not sure what else you want me to say. I think you are into him, otherwise you wouldn't even be posing the question about what to do about him. If you weren't so into him, we wouldn't have had other postings on him. If he is just a f*ck buddy, then why ask anyone what you should do? He shouldn't matter much then, should he?
Author maynicholas Posted December 17, 2007 Author Posted December 17, 2007 If he is just a f*ck buddy, then why ask anyone what you should do? He shouldn't matter much then, should he? Your right. But I'm bored and like to create drama where there is none in my life. And it's fun to read what other people have to say and what they would do in a similar situation.
Jilly Bean Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 But I'm bored and like to create drama where there is none in my life. *groan* Good luck with that.
Author maynicholas Posted December 17, 2007 Author Posted December 17, 2007 Yeah, it's a huge flaw, I know. But I find that I rarely get worked up about anything, so sometimes I have to create something to get worked up about just to feel normal. It seems that every one else has so much drama in their life, and they feel all these emotions all the time. I'm usually just content and let things roll off my back. Which is a good thing. The only thing I get excited about is school (I'm a nerd). As far as interactions with other people, I find that there isn't anyone in my life who excites me right now. Perhaps I'm more screwed up than I give myself credit for.
EYECANDY000 Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 I wouldnt focus so much on his ego. Focus on yourself and what makes you happy. If you enjoy the fwb , then go for it. Theres really no rebuttal you can say for him to not think that his ego isnt getting stroked even more.
LoveLace Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 I'm in a situation almost exactly like yours, maynicholas! I have a "right now" guy which works for good sex and entertainment, until other opportunities come along for me. He is also bad about making plans or promises, and then disappearing...but just like you, it rolls off my back for the most part, because it doesn't surprise me anymore and I'm not so into him that it makes me cry or something. I like him a lot as a "right now" guy; but as for serious boyfriend material, nuh-uh... But even Right Now guys need a wake up call sometimes. I no longer return all of my guy's calls and I don't initiate calls near as often. I also pretty much refrain from making any future plans with him. All this helps but even with this he has a tendency to let his "ego" blow up bigger than he should... If I was you, I'd tell him your busy Wednesday. Then he'll have to come up with something else or another way or time to make this up to you. He'll either take that opportunity, or he'll disappear for what he'll think is long enough for you to forget about it and call in a couple weeks or so. If your truly just using him as Right Now Guy (I don't mean that in a bad way), why not still hang out, just don't always let it seem very easy or like your always available.
Author maynicholas Posted December 17, 2007 Author Posted December 17, 2007 I ended up responding with an I don't know yet, call me wednesday. My friend came up with a good analogy for him that maybe someone will appreciate because I thought it was hilarious- He is like a toy from the dollar store. You get it because you want something to entertain you, but if you lose it or it breaks, it's no big deal because it only cost $1.
LoveLace Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 I ended up responding with an I don't know yet, call me wednesday. My friend came up with a good analogy for him that maybe someone will appreciate because I thought it was hilarious- He is like a toy from the dollar store. You get it because you want something to entertain you, but if you lose it or it breaks, it's no big deal because it only cost $1. Ha ha that's great, so true. That's a good response...let us know..
Recommended Posts