Blackfrost Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 wow..this thread reminded me that I once used to be a nice guy. Thank god I cleared up that baggage.
lindya Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Men probably get pissed off hearing female claims of a preference for nice guys (then seeing endless evidence to the contrary)in the same way that women get tired of being told that men prefer natural looking women when a multi-billion dollar porn industry quite clearly speaks to the opposite being the case. It's a little like being 13 years old and listening to well meaning aunts trying to persuade you that Santa Claus exists. What people theoretically and emotionally want in a partner will often go straight out of the window when they're suddenly confronted with what they want sexually. There's nothing at all wrong with niceness. It will serve a person well in lots of spheres, but it just doesn't compete with raw sexuality in the mating game....and that applies to men and women alike.
bish Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Here's what I see. Boy likes girl and pretends to be her friend, to get close to her. Girl makes it clear she's not interested. Boy gets bitter because she refuses to reciprocate his desire. Better to state your desire upfront and if you have issues with non-reciprocation, don't pretend to be her friend. Move on. Ya, thats a likely scenario as well.....still doesn't change the fact that these kind of women later on settle for a nice guy after making it clear she's not interested in that type of guy. They didn't want them then...but now all of a sudden do? What has changed?....oh ya....they matured....phfffft....
Florida Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Ya, thats a likely scenario as well.....still doesn't change the fact that these kind of women later on settle for a nice guy after making it clear she's not interested in that type of guy. They didn't want them then...but now all of a sudden do? What has changed?....oh ya....they matured....phfffft.... And people make mistakes Bish, not everyone is born knowing what a bad person is and how to avoid the red flags until you went through it...I wouldn't conclude you like "bad girls" (eww that sounds like a bad video) because of your ex wife, right? But now you know what to watch for, and not to tolerate. Same deal in most cases. Plus what Lindya said.
Trialbyfire Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Ya, thats a likely scenario as well.....still doesn't change the fact that these kind of women later on settle for a nice guy after making it clear she's not interested in that type of guy. They didn't want them then...but now all of a sudden do? What has changed?....oh ya....they matured....phfffft.... Ha... Every stereotypical nice guy aka doormat, has a bad boy aka assertive man to them. It's probably one and the same guy, not wounded and bitter but tempered by experience, like fine steel...
Mustang Sally Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Every stereotypical nice guy aka doormat, has a bad boy aka assertive man to them. It's probably one and the same guy, not wounded and bitter but tempered by experience, like fine steel... Thanks, TBF. Exactly my point. Men! Release your inner Bad Boy....
GoodOnPaper Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 Ya, thats a likely scenario as well.....still doesn't change the fact that these kind of women later on settle for a nice guy after making it clear she's not interested in that type of guy. They didn't want them then...but now all of a sudden do? What has changed?....oh ya....they matured....phfffft.... I'd say an increase in maturity coupled with a decrease in dating market status. Which one carries more weight depends on the woman. Even at this stage, it's important to have "nice guy" issues resolved -- you may have to figure out if your gf emotionally wants a nice guy but sexually still wants a badboy. And people make mistakes Bish, not everyone is born knowing what a bad person is and how to avoid the red flags until you went through it It's hard for "nice guys" to cut other people slack for this. In their (our) minds, other people are getting lots of dating and sex experience, while the "nice guy" has to figure everything out from just a few unsuccessful approaches and maybe one or two women who are actually willing to go out with him. Here's what you don't often hear about -- the "nice guy" may think that his issues will magically disappear if he does manage to find one woman who is legitimately interested in an LTR. Unfortunately, the issues don't go away -- if they did, 95% of the threads on the LS marriage and infidelity forums wouldn't be on there. The bitterness in the Craigslist rant comes from lots of frustration -- sexual frustration, frustration with the seemingly endless paradoxes of social/dating/mating interactions, frustration at "falling behind" everyone else and never doing it "right" like the PUAs. It is wrong to direct this frustration at women, but at this point, rational thought is not foremost on the "nice guy's" mind.
bish Posted December 20, 2007 Posted December 20, 2007 Ha... Every stereotypical nice guy aka doormat, has a bad boy aka assertive man to them. It's probably one and the same guy, not wounded and bitter but tempered by experience, like fine steel... You got that right...no more mr. niceguy for me...thats for sure.
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