Kiahleigh Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 Hi I will make this as short as I can I have been dating the same guy for the past year. I'm a single mom and have been since my daughter was born shes 5 now single meaning I have lived alone. I have worked very hard to get where I am today. Me and my boyfriend decided to move in together in September It was a feeling of relief after having the responsibilities of all the bills and rent for so long I finally had someone to share this with. Not only that but I was sharing a home with someone I truly loved and saw myself spending my life with. Wednesday night we got into an arugment because of something really stupid. I wont bore you with the details, Thursday He turned off my cell phone so I knew something was up I went home on my lunch break to find all of his things gone and a note that read sick of wasting my f***ing time here don't contact me. Of course I did anyway I actually saw his truck at a gas station and I jumped in the back seat while he was at the store and when he got back I demanded to know what was going on. we went to a local restruant and he told me it was over he cant take the arguing anymore and for me to move on. I left that day feeling awful. The thing is I've always been a mother I work everyday 9-5 we come home have dinner, take a bath go to be wake up go to school I go to work it never changes him on the other hand he works but he also used to go out with all his single friends every night. But we tried to make it work and it was beautiful he was everything I wanted I love him so much and I cant stop crying and when I'm not crying I feel like I'm going to. On top of this its christmas time I don't know how I'm gonna pay for everything he totally screwed me right at christmas I would have saved more money if I would have known. Well on Thurs, Fri, sat and sun I have been blowing his phone up constantly texting, or leaving a voice mail.. finally last night I was asking him to come over and he said "I'm not coming and I'm not coming back"... I got mad and said I'm done and I havent text since only to say what did he leave that he needed cause he kept saying he had stuff at my house. that was at 6 am in the last half hour he has text me about his stuff which is nothing.. but some mail and a newspaper clipping. How will I get over him? I'm so devasted and then when I get strong enough to say I'm done he starts contacting me again.. what do I do?? I want him back but if thats not an option I want to get over him. its Christmas I dont want to feel this way.. can ya'll help me please I'm desperate for answers.
memorex1970 Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 Hello there, firstly Im sorry that this has happened to you. Did you two really break up over this one 'silly' arguement or has it been brewing up for some time? My question is...why would you want to be with someone who has made it clear he doesnt want to be with you? Im not judging anyone here as I dont know you both but from what youve put down its clear he has some issues with himself. Did he get along with your child,has he children of his own? I know its a crap time to split with somebody but do move on,it will soon be a new year and take what youve learnt from this relationship that clearly didnt have a future and use it to make your next one better. It may not seem like it now but you will move on and get over this bloke,its natural to feel ultra low but it will work out in the end. Being a single mum does not put the majority of guys off...Im a guy and Id find it strange to meet a woman who didnt have kids. Try and enjoy Christmas, good luck for the new year. Nick
LakesideDream Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 First, you two were not married, that makes a difference. In your own words you say that you were happy you had someone to share expenses with and to help you generally. With the responsibility of your daughter, you should not have let yourself get into a situation where you depended on your BF financially. BF/GF shackups are fraught with pitfalls. You give up a lot of rights living together without being married. BF/GF shackups are really nothing more than roomates with benifits. There is no legal framework established to mediate problems, or crisis. That's a risk you must accept when you enter into unoffical relationships. I feel bad for you. I don't believe there is anything you can do to salvage the situation. What you can do is learn from your mistakes and try not to repeat them. It's kinda like the legal axiom, get it in writing. If I was in your situation with a young child I would want to be as sure as possible that a man was "the one" before shacking up and exposing the child to an unrelated stranger. Don't jump the gun next time.
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