OrangeSnack Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 Hey all, I posted this last time but no one replied. I guess it was too lengthy. Anyway, let me just summarize it all up. I really like this girl in my class, unfortunately, I have already hinted about dating three times now. All three were unsuccessful. The first time, I realized that I was nervous so some of the words didn't come out right. I asked her to "give me a call if she wanted to hang out this weekend." Obviously, she didn't call me. The second time was during the thanksgiving break, scheduled a date and called her a day in advance. She sounded enthusiastic about it at first when I asked her to hang out this weekend, but she returned my call the next day saying she's busy and repeatedly apologizing. Not sure if it was just bad timing (because usually thanksgiving breaks are spent with family members). The third time was asking her to study, and unfortunately she blew that off as well in a text message by saying "It's too cold outside I don't want to go to the library, but if you need the book, let me know." So basically, I'm getting mixed feelings everyday. I'm not sure if I should give it another shot. After the three attempts she is still friendly with me and she seems very comfortable starting up a conversation. She’s the typical girl that you can bring home to your parents and establish a long term relationship. I’ve sensed that the very first day we met in class. She threw off a good first impression and it seemed like she and I connected. She would always wait for me after class because it’s difficult to talk during class when the professor’s giving a lecture (Even after the three attempts!). Oh I just wanted to add, when we first met, she wanted my phone number, but I she never gave me her number until a few hours later she called me apologizing for not giving her number to me. I am not sure if that was a sigh. Additionally, when we talk she likes to talk about her favorite restaurant and wanting to go abroad because I have had experiences overseas, so we would use e-mail to communicate once in awhile. So my question is: Did she not get my hints or is she just not interested. Was she throwing me some hints and I’m just an idiot not realizing what’s going on? Should I give it another try and be more straight forward? Sadly, we finished off our quarter at ucla four days ago, so I won’t be able to see her again. What should I do? Thanks!
virtuzoso Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 I am probably not the best person to advise on this, but something I personally would have done differently is how you asked. You have to be Bold and Direct. I know it sounds like a good idea to give her the option to call YOU ( no pressure, right?) but that also means she may not call you and she's doing part of the 'work'. Its ok to leave things open ended like that, but I think works much better to be more direct. For example " I'd really like to hang out/take you out sometime, can I call you about it" You dont have to make the time definite, but you want to make the date a yes or no thing. This way all she has to do is say yes or no,then you get to make the call and then you can both work out the time and place.
Author OrangeSnack Posted December 17, 2007 Author Posted December 17, 2007 Thanks for the reply. I knew I should of been more straight forward. But I didn't want to put her in an awkward situation. I also want to preserve our friendship if it doesn't work out, dating wise. I am just confused whether or not I should do it again, did she throw any hints at me? I mean, she did a lot of nice things to me in class and after class. I wouldn't even expect my best friend to do the same, but I was truly touched by her actions. Could it be that she's just nice person in general to all her friends. *shrug*
virtuzoso Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 Could be, but you wont know until you ask I am terrible at dating, way out of practice, but one thing I did learn by this point is that you usually wont regret the things you do much, its the things you DIDNT do that will get to you.
audrey88 Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 From the female perspective, it sounds like she's only interested in you as a friend. When I like a guy and he asks me to do anything, I'm there. It doesn't matter what else is going on. If I don't like him, but I sense that he likes me, I'll make up excuses as to why I can't hang out. Although, this has kinda changed since I started med school and learned the real meaning of the word busy. Now, sometimes I'll want to say yes lets go hang out, but I feel like I can't because I have to study. So, if you're a really difficult major at UCLA that requires a lot of time then perhaps finals got in your way. I'd make one more attempt. Make sure you're far enough away from midterms and finals so you know that school isn't a factor. Good Luck.
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