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So I met a woman at a date site, really like her, but I think she just stabbed me....

stevessvt

By stevessvt
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Jilly Bean Established Member

Jilly Bean

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Steve, she probably put up a profile because you still have one up there. Somewhere, in a parallel universe, her friends were advising her to put one up to see how you react.

 

I would not create a dummy account to contact her - that is terribly childish and will only lead to more games. Plus, if you are doing that kind of thing after three weeks (not like after three years its any better), then you really are with the wrong person to begin with.

 

Realistically, it's only been three weeks. WAY too soon for any kind of real commitment. So, I think you have two choices. 1- ask her what her intentions are for a relationship, 2-continue to multi-date.

Citizen Erased Established Member

Citizen Erased

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In all honesty darlin, I wouldn't put up with your brand of flirting. :)

 

reowwwwwwwwwww :laugh:

AriaIncognito Established Member

AriaIncognito

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Steve, she probably put up a profile because you still have one up there. Somewhere, in a parallel universe, her friends were advising her to put one up to see how you react.

 

 

Steve has mentioned in several posts that he doesn't have a profile up, so she's not doing it for that reason.....

Jilly Bean Established Member

Jilly Bean

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Steve has mentioned in several posts that he doesn't have a profile up, so she's not doing it for that reason.....

 

I didn't get that, sorry. I thought that since he was visiting site #2 daily, that he still had an active profile.

 

Still, the irony isn't lost on me. He's still trolling for women on these sites, and is not upset that this gal is, too. There are plenty of sites to browse on the net if one is bored. Steve, I just think you were served a dose of "how's them apples?" :(

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stevessvt Established Member

stevessvt

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I suppose its possible, but I would have hoped if thats the real reason she is doing it, she would be a tad more mature and come to me and ask whats up, as I am trying to do now with her.

Florida Established Member

Florida

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Yeah Steve I agree with JB -while I don't think you are lying to anyone here about your intentions, but c'moooooon dude ....you browse the personals out of boredom while wanting exclusivity from her??? That just doesn't sound plausible, and it looks bad no matter how you explain it.

 

Would you do that if she was there with you in the same room? I doubt it, so why when she can't find out?

 

I can't believe that even a little teensy bit you wouldn't think "oh-that one-mental note for future if things do't work out" ah-that one too! and that one!

 

You got served. Please don't surf perso\nals sites unless you are shopping for real, it'll come back and bite you when you think you have found the right girl.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if she got a peek at your history on your work computer??

AriaIncognito Established Member

AriaIncognito

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I didn't get that, sorry. I thought that since he was visiting site #2 daily, that he still had an active profile.

 

Still, the irony isn't lost on me. He's still trolling for women on these sites, and is not upset that this gal is, too. There are plenty of sites to browse on the net if one is bored. Steve, I just think you were served a dose of "how's them apples?" :(

 

I tend to agree with this post.

 

If you weren't looking, you'd not be in this mess right now.

 

Of course maybe it's better that you know, but still, you've dug your own hole here, for sure...

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stevessvt Established Member

stevessvt

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Well, there is no chance of that since she has visited my work only twice, neither by the computer.

 

And I get it, there is a strong chance I brought this on myself.

But what if I didnt? What do I do now? Confront her? Ask if she wants to kick it up to a new level of comittment? Do nothing, but now this will burn in me that she is committed to finding someone new? I just went back there to the site, she isnt on actively right now, and read her portrait. She put time and effort in to this thing,.....lots of pics and paragraphs.

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stevessvt Established Member

stevessvt

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And now that I am thinking about it, if she visited my portrait, there would be a record on my side of her visiting it. An there isnt.

Florida Established Member

Florida

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I wouldn't say you brought it on yourself- given what you said (that she never stopped by your work near your computer)

 

Actually-I find it may work for you that you were looking at the personals, even if that wasn't how you saw it (and seriously consider getting rid of that habit in the future) because you just caught her out. And you would not have otherwise, until she dumped you and you'd be none the wiser.

 

She is really putting effort into it, that says either:

1) she feels you haven't committed to her in a timely manner by having the exclusivity talk, and is moving on (in a bad way)

 

2) She just sucks

 

I don't really have good advice, I would not want to work it out with someone who put all that effort into a brand new phishing site.

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stevessvt Established Member

stevessvt

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Asking her right this second....lets see where this goes....

Florida Established Member

Florida

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And now that I am thinking about it, if she visited my portrait, there would be a record on my side of her visiting it. An there isnt.

 

So you actually have a portrait or whatever up?

Did I understand that correctly ?

D-Lish Established Member

D-Lish

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haha- well just so you know, you can turn off the "viewed profile"

function so no one knows you viewed them on most sites.

;-)

 

Okay Steve- Let me give you the other side of the story.

I am in the same situation at the moment- I have been seeing a guy I met online a few weeks back and things are progressing just fine.

 

Both of us still have our profiles up, even though we have become intimate and things are going really well. I still check my mail all the time and I know he does as well. It's not that I don't like him- or him me... I think it has more to do with the habit of checking. As you know, surfing the sites and checking mail is addictive!

 

At some point a conversation has to happen about your intentions with one another. You are checking the sites, and see it as harmless... maybe she does as well.

 

I myself am still talking to a few different people, and have gone on two other dates and plan to go on another one. What does that mean? It means that for me, it's too early to tell if I want to be in a committed relationship with him. I will still date, but I won't be intimate with anyone else because I am involved with him.

 

I met someone on lavalife and dated him for a year, and our profiles were up for a good three months into the relationship. I think it has a lot to do with habit. It becomes part of the routine!

 

I wouldn't stress about it until you are seeing each other for a while longer. Then it will be important to confront the fact that you guys still have your profiles up.

Florida Established Member

Florida

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OMG that is like dating someone and walking into a restaurant and seeing them trying to hit on a group of opposite sex people! Or doing one of those speed dating things, I would be very upset, even if that is the norm (?)

 

I don't see a difference between it being virtual or actually happening in real life. Yet the rules of internet dating are so much more liquid and strange.

 

Do you agree?

Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

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reowwwwwwwwwww :laugh:

We would be so not compatible as an item. ;)

 

Me am territorial. Big stick, bam, bam. Kill dinosaur. Protect mate.

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stevessvt Established Member

stevessvt

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I guess,....I guess maybe I am so green at this again and maybe want a relationship so bad I just dont want to see anything that may mean bad news. I asked her about it, she said its an old portrait that she updated. Purely to find people to chat with. Who knows. I cant win. Yes, my portrait is there, no its not active. And it completely expires on the 22nd of this month. At that point I wont be able to do anything.

Citizen Erased Established Member

Citizen Erased

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We would be so not compatible as an item. ;)

 

Me am territorial. Big stick, bam, bam. Kill dinosaur. Protect mate.

 

:laugh:

 

Or would you be just the person to change me and my flirtatious ways? ;):love:

D-Lish Established Member

D-Lish

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Internet dating has a strange set of rules.

 

I am not worried about the guy I am seeing checking out the site.

We are both upfront about it with one another.

 

It's only been a few weeks, so I can't expect him to know anymore than I do if I am the one for him.

 

I am a big fan of taking things slow.

 

For the record- I have blocked him on the site so I don't know when he is online....because I just don't want to know.

Florida Established Member

Florida

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The internet is a strange creature, it brings people together, offers information, has opened new ways for meeting , gives everyone a voice or a soapbox on any topic, more equality, more freedom of expression- yet has also faciltated cheating and predatory activity, and the need for internet surveillance issues due to all those things too.

 

It truly is a brave new world.

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