manders_01 Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 Hi all. I haven't posted in quite some time but have an issue I can't seem to get a grasp on. A couple of weeks ago I was out at my regular bar watching a football game. Another regular hung out with us (opposing teams - usually there's just an acknowledgement of each other) and he and I got to chatting. We have some common interests and were getting along great. Some hand holding started and there seemed to be a genuine mutual interest. Eventually, the conversation got a bit into us dating. He then asked me if I liked nice guys. I said of course and he replied good, cause I'm a nice guy and I don't want to get my heartbroken. The day progressed and before I got home that night, we had slept together. A texted him a few times and always got a response, how ever short and curt they were. My team hasn't played at the same time his has so I haven't seen him since then. I now realize that he gave me the nice guy line just to get me into bed. Here's my question though - why would someone use that line if they didn't mean it since it was clear by the time he used it that I was going to sleep with him?
Tony T Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 You're asking us to read his mind and we can't do that. However, as a practical matter you just don't sleep with a guy...nice or not nice...right after you get to talking to him. You really didn't know this guy. Instinctually and from an evolution perspective, the male is supposed to do a little pursuing, and little work...there's supposed to be a bit more interaction and learning prior to a sexual experience. No, that didn't happen way back when we were basic primates but along the way mating rituals were developed. Deep inside a male, he knows that if a woman sleeps with him very quickly it's likely she does that with other men she finds interesting or attractive. That doesn't make him feel very special. Easy is not in. I think he was very sincere about being a nice guy. But give any male some credit. No sane, rational male is going to know in just a short time if he wants a long term relationship with somebody. I think he may have felt some sort of obligation after the sexual episode and after some text message exchanges felt he better back out of this before it got to far. You probably screwed this up and you have to take a lot of the responsibility for doing so. The next time you meet a guy you really feel like you can be into, date him a while before you have a sexual experience with him. Nice guy or not, there's just no romantic edge or spark to an easy catch.
whichwayisup Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 All I know is, if a guy is a 'nice guy' he doesn't have to go advertise it, you'll just know he is by the way he is. This guy obviously gave you a line to seal the deal. Sorry, but you gave in waaay too fast. He got what he wanted, or he realized that you caved and it put him off. I don't know what else to tell you, but don't call him again, let him call you. If he doesn't call, then sadly you have your answer...He wasn't a nice guy to begin with.
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 when a guy says he is a "nice guy" thats because he isnt a nice guy...and why would you sleep with a guy the first day you meet him?? lol....that was too easy for him...no offense but he got what he wanted from you and you fell for it lol....now its not your turn to call him, hells naw haha now he thinks your easy and your going to be calling him for some ass lol...but now you got to show him hard to get...it happened it happened and you cant go back...
LoveLace Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Just because he slept with her that day, doesn't mean he isn't really a "nice guy" necessarily; even nice guys are capable of taking a girl up on the offer to give it up. Trust me I know!
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