amsohappy Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 Hi I really need advice on this. I have a serious situation that I am grappling with. I separated from my husband of over 10 years and started a new relationship at the same time. My estranged husband has had a problem with drinking and hasn't held a full time job in years. I supported him financially and emotionally most of our marriage. Also, we had a problem in our relationship, in that we had sex only a few times in the 10 years. At the time of my separation, I started dating a man I work with. He is wonderful and make me very happy most of the time (minor disagreements and he has not been in long term relationship for 10 years. he is also a single father of a 16 year old daughter). We also see long term relationship in the future. We have a healthy sexual relationship. However, I still find myself missing my husband and the unconditional amount of time he has for me and helping me on my career goals and he said he has changed. However, I don't want to risk losing my current relationship if things are the same. I feel kind of stuck in the middle without much leverage to try to see where either relationship will go without risking losing the other. Could you please advise me?
Ronni_W Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 Well, no matter what you choose, there is no guarantee that it will be the "best" one for you, for the rest of your life. We all do have to take risks. But it seems that you want to place the burden of risk on these two men, without accruing any negative consequences of your decisions and actions yourself. I'm not sure it works that way. At the moment, of course, you are risking BOTH the relationships so I do get why you want to change the situation. Maybe all you have to go by is what will be best for you at the present time and then, whatever you choose, put some effort into making it work for the long term?
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