What I Have Learned

[Crestfallen_KH]

What I've learned about my cheating ex-husband:

 

1. We are fundamentally different people. His wants and desires are more important than his word and his honor.

 

2. He was good and loving and giving when it was either easy, what he wanted to do, or didn't require much effort.

 

3. When faced with a challenge, his response was always to flee, rather than fight. He was a coward.

 

4. He couldn't respect me and our relationship because he didn't respect himself.

 

5. He was emotionally immature, so he naturally connected with someone else who was also emotionally immature and also put her wants and desires above her word and honor.

 

What I have learned about myself:

 

1. I am an amazingly strong person who puts her word and honor above her wants and desires.

 

2. I am loving, kind and generous even when it is not easy or there is a cost. I value the feelings of other people and, most importantly, myself.

 

3. When faced with a challenge, I will dig in and fight until it becomes too damaging to my self-esteem or soul to continue.

 

4. I have the self-respect to walk away and refuse to be treated like a worthless person. I care for myself and my well being.

 

5. I am emotionally mature, I can see shades of grey and understand that human beings are complex. Love brings two people together, but it's commitment and trust to work through the bad times (when loving feelings may not be so obvious) that sustain any long-term relationship. Real love takes work.

 

Finally, I have learned that I have character, strength and the ability to love myself and others. I now know grief. I now have empathy for others. I feel like I am truly a member of the human race. I no longer judge others, as we are all human beings with our own struggles and pain.

 

I now have a benchmark to refer to when faced with my next challenge. And rather that letting it destroy me, I will say "What is it that I am meant to learn about myself this time?"

[randuff]

Good for you!!!! I am happy for you!

 

Now if I could just get to where you are now!