I desperately need !

[ledatuan]

hi,

 

I have been with this girl for 1.5 years. There was some good and bad memory. But because I got so tired of her acting jealous and unreasonable, I suggested breaking up with her 3 months ago. She went insane and crazy. She called me everyday. Seriously that was tough time in my life. But I still loved her. So I still talked to her but not like everyday talking like boyfriend and girlfriend. We still hung out. But she made me confused cuz she still stayed the same (crazy jealousy.)

 

Then about a month ago after I got back from Cali, we hung out. She said she still loved me so much. Even if I moved to Cali for 2 years (I have to go to school down there,) she would wait for me. She told me that I could do watever. I could even get girl to hang out for fun. I was like "do you really love me that much" and my feeling for her started getting stronger. But then I think it is not fair for her. I left her without contacting her for like 5 days. Also, we didn't believe in long distance relationship.

 

I had to get surgery in the following week. So I called her to let her know that she didn't have to worry about giving me a ride up there because I had trouble to look for one. But after surgery time, she was still kinda talking to me but not really. She kept saying that she wanted to come and visit me but then she cancelled with some stupid excuse. I asked her what's wrong and she said nothing. But I could tell.

 

Anyway, I came to see her on the thanksgiving night. She took a while to open the door. I knew that she was buzy to delete all the messages and phone number on her cell. So I asked her "what's wrong?" She said "I am done with you. I had a bf now." She brought out a bunch of condum and told me "we had sex". I was like wat the... But then later she told me "I told you this to make you give up." And the bad thing was that I let emotion control me and turn to be "wussy" begging and pleading and stuff. I asked her if I could hug her. She didn't say anything and I came and hug her. I said "man I miss you so much I ddin't see you for long time. I wish you could be sweet like this." She put her hands around me and said "I could do everything you want." I asked her for a kiss and she suddenly turned away "no, I had a bf now." I was like "man you just hugged and said something like that." She was like "no I didn't say that." And she called her bf and talked to him and asked me to leave because she gotta talk to him.

 

I left. But then I turned to be too emotional and didn't know what I was doing. I kept calling her and begging her to come back. I know this is stupid of me. But in the end she said "no, it is too late. I gave you chances but you messed them up. After you are done everything to me and now you want me back. Well I could wait for you 2 years but then I need to move on. I knew how you feel because I have been there. Suffer yourself and get over it. I gotta talk to my bf now. Don't call me or text or email me." She even told me that that guy was in her room lately but I knew she lied. Basically I have begged her for 3 days. But I think it was really over and I had nothing to say because I left her first.

 

So then she called me after 10 days of NC. She asked me "how my knee (surgery) is doing." I responded "it is doing fine. How was you finals?" And she said "yea got buzy and stuff." And then I told her that I gotta go and would call her back. She said "no you don't have to call me back." And she texted me right after the hang-up "I just wanted to let you know that there was a person willing to take care of kiki (our puppy) thanks for the offer. Have a good nite... psh... i mean have a good life... psycho." I was like wat the... and kind of laughing because things she had done before even crazier than wat i really did.

 

Anyway I texted her back 2 days later "that's good. I wouldnt have much time to take care of her (the puppy) anyway." The puppy really loved me and even more than her. She called me right back and yelled at me "why you are such an assh..... Stop being an assho** I wasn't assho** to you doesn't mean you have to be assho** to me." I was like "why?" She said "just stop being an assho**" I didn't say anything or argue back with her." I told her "if you already decided to move on. Leave me my space. I gave you your space." She was like "yes you gave space. but just stop being an assh.... I aleady moved on. My bf is super nice to me." I said "I am happy for you" but inside it was really hurted. And she asked me that "are you dating right now. Just stop hanging out with young girl." I knew she had been tracking on my myspace. I told her "not really, just hang out." And I told her I gotta go and would call her back later. She gave me same cold answer "Have fun. you don't have to call me back" and hung up. I didn't call her back so far.

 

It has been 3 weeks living in hell. I can't sleep or eat well. I was so regreted things I did because if you really love someone, long distance would not be matter. I dreamed of her every nite. But I think it was too late. She has been having fun with another guy and I think I should wish her happy instead of trying to get her back. But I still miss her so much. Even though I went to hang out with some girl, I didn't feel rite.

 

The things I don't understand about her is that she loved me so much. But then why she had to lye to me if she wanna move on. And I dont' understand that in only 9 days she could easily move on to another guy. Anyway do you think if she was just testing me because I didn't give me enough attention or she did really move on? she'll have a trip back to her hometown next week and I felt like I would never see her again.

Please inform me some advice! It has been really tough.

 

Thanks for being patient reading this long post.

[cant let go]

did you just re-post this?

 

what is your question? are you wondering if she is "testing you"?

 

I'd say...no...probably not. you can never assume that an ex's words or actions are "a test." she is probably confused and just wants to move on. whether she actually has moved on or not doesn't even matter, the fact is that she wants to and you can't change that. Accept what she tells you, it's the only way. It's tough as hell but...that's why we are here, to cope. good luck dear.