Lucky555 Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 I do regret getting involved for another round with this guy. Why didn't i listen to my friends? They all said each and everyone of them said to dump him . WHY don't i listen! I have finally stopped talking to the guy for about 2 weeks now and today i finally said i would cut all communication. I can't help but wonder why he had to play me again....i wish there was some way to know. So its over once again. i am proud of myself for not initiating going out with friends that i know because i need to stay away from him. I was happy sooo happy and then i gave him another shot only to feel miserable again. I know it takes time to get over someone again...But here is a question Do you listen to your friends when they say dump someone after you tell them about your situation?
whichwayisup Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 People have to go through stuff their own way, and everyone has been where you are now, allowing a relationship to continue, when infact, it should end. Don't beat up on yourself, it's a good learning experience (even if it's painful) because now you know what you WILL and WON'T put up with in the future and in your next relationship.
Author Lucky555 Posted December 15, 2007 Author Posted December 15, 2007 thanks for the input. Yeah, it just left me broken hearted again...i had moved on before after this situation last year and i am ready to do it again in time. Right now i am just disappointed, angry..i don't know why i feel anger, i think its because he led me to "believe in him" and i feel stupid for letting him back in again. True, that i know what i will and will not put up with. Thanks for your comment i appreciate it.
amsohappy Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 I am facing the same issue. How do you know that a person has changed or not? I don't know when it's time to give a second chance or not.
amaysngrace Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 How do you know that a person has changed or not? People rarely change and I am skeptical in thinking they do. If someone outright tells you "I've changed" then I believe they are feeding you a line. Short of a near death experience or a life altering trauma or maybe years of psychiatric assistance...people don't change. (And I'm usually an optimist!)
mortensorchid Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 Did he / she ask for another chance from you? Or did you just give it back to them? Chances are people don't change very much. Cheating and infidelity are ugly things, no question. We're only human, we have to learn by making our own mistakes (both men and women). But, I think you should just move on from this person. Know what? Play him back! You hang him out to dry so he knows how it feels! Immature, I know, but you will have gotten it out of your system.
Author Lucky555 Posted December 15, 2007 Author Posted December 15, 2007 yeah i feel like making him feel like i feel but the thing is i never wanted anyone to feel hurt in this at all. Other relationships that ended we left on good terms because thats how i like it to be. But this one has hit me the most. This is the first time where i fell the hardest for the guy, because i trusted him to be a mature MAN this time around. We had went out and basically we didn't say he i want to see you and date u. We just went with the flow and then we were starting to get closer like hugging and being friendly kissing ect. and then it hit me. He did this before. He never said I want you and only you and when your dating its hard to do that but after five months before...and then a long break and then it was two months now where i said ok wait is the same thing. Its like he knows i am polite and i dont want to hurt him so its ok that he uses and tugs on my heartstrings. I have fell for this guy a bit but i feel better in some ways. I don't have it in me to try any more not even to say hi to him. I just need to stop seeing him all together. I just can't play him like he did me, even though i know he deserves it. Sometimes i wonder should I have listened to my friends when they first said NO dont go with him! I just don't like feelings so pathetic and crappy about this. Like i said i feel stupid because i should have known better. I ended it with him before because he was sneaking around calling his ex and tellling me it was over with them..but it wasn't he was so having an emotional affair.
amaysngrace Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 I think you followed your heart and there is nothing wrong with that. Don't mistrust yourself and doubt yourself and your choices now. Everyone makes mistakes. Yes the guy's an ass and yes your friends were right. But the thing I think you're missing is that you have it in your heart to forgive and try again. That's a great quality to have. And you hoped it would end up happy. You didn't sign up for misery. You signed up for happiness. Unfortunately this guy didn't appreciate your heart enough to keep you happy in the relationship. That's his bad. You did nothing wrong but try. You're a good person with a good heart so please stop beating yourself up about this. If he mistreated you and your goodness then it is definitely his loss. You've been through enough. You owe it to yourself to give yourself a break. And that forgiveness that you so willingly gave to him, give that to you now.
Trialbyfire Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 Maybe a better way to look at it is, no risk, no return. You gave it another shot and it didn't pan out. While you might be regretting trying again for the short-term, at least you won't have long-term regrets of "what if?".
child_of_isis Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 You don't have to listen to your friends. Just watch what he does. Actions speak louder than words. You really don't need this in your life do you? Someone still emotionally attached to the ex? Did he just come out of a long relationship? If so, you need to avoid this type. If they say they are coming out of a relationship (especially a long term relationship)........run. Usually, they just use you to get over their ex. Not a good place to be. I ended it with him before because he was sneaking around calling his ex and tellling me it was over with them..but it wasn't he was so having an emotional affair.
Author Lucky555 Posted December 15, 2007 Author Posted December 15, 2007 Yes, he did come out of a long relationship. one more year they would have been legally married here in the U.S. I didn't know this about long term relationships i live and learn i guess. he is still in contact with her as far as i know now and i know its not relationship with him and i anymore. Cuts deeply but like you all said i did give a shot and it didn't pan out. Just wish it felt that simple haha. I am better today, i just know someday somehow that beautiful person will be there with me. I just got to keep optimistic and AVOID these types of me. I will try to stop beating myself up kinda hard because i THOUGHT I WAS SMARTER and noooo I listened to my irrational self. lol Oh i live and learn.
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