amsohappy Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Hi, I have a serious situation that I am grappling with. I separated from my husband of over 10 years and started a new relationship at the same time. My estranged husband has had a problem with drinking and hasn't held a full time job in years. I supported him financially and emotionally most of our marriage. Also, we had a problem in our relationship, in that we had sex only a few times in the 10 years. At the time of my separation, I started dating a man I work with. He is wonderful and make me very happy most of the time (minor disagreements and he has not been in long term relationship for 10 years. he is also a single father of a 16 year old daughter). We also see long term relationship in the future. We have a healthy sexual relationship. However, I still find myself missing my husband and the unconditional amount of time he has for me and helping me on my career goals and he said he has changed. However, I don't want to risk losing my current relationship if things are the same. I feel kind of stuck in the middle without much leverage to try to see where either relationship will go without risking losing the other. Could you please advise me?
Racquel Colette Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 I think you should go for the man who you have the strongest feelings for.
Jilly Bean Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 Hi, IHowever, I still find myself missing my husband and the unconditional amount of time he has for me and helping me on my career goals He had unconditional time for you, and to help you with your career goals because you were his meal ticket. You enabled him to NOT work. Snap out of it! Take a co-dependency class, learn why you were attracted to a man who gave you so little, and stick with the new guy who sounds SO much better. You deserve happiness!
Author amsohappy Posted December 15, 2007 Author Posted December 15, 2007 Thanks so much for the replies! I really need to hear advice, because I feel like I could only theoretically think of the situation without messing things up in either direction until I'm sure. I read a codependency book and attended counseling on this too. I will definitely not accept a situation that I was in my marriage again. my estranged husband does say that he has changed and learned a big lesson. If I weren't in another wonderful relationship, I would have given it a try. Now, I don't know what to do. I am truly torn at times and feel stuck.
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