amsohappy Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Hi I really need advice on this. I have a serious situation that I am grappling with. I separated from my husband of over 10 years and started a new relationship at the same time. My estranged husband has had a problem with drinking and hasn't held a full time job in years. I supported him financially and emotionally most of our marriage. Also, we had a problem in our relationship, in that we had sex only a few times in the 10 years. At the time of my separation, I started dating a man I work with. He is wonderful and make me very happy most of the time (minor disagreements and he has not been in long term relationship for 10 years. he is also a single father of a 16 year old daughter). We also see long term relationship in the future. We have a healthy sexual relationship. However, I still find myself missing my husband and the unconditional amount of time he has for me and helping me on my career goals and he said he has changed. However, I don't want to risk losing my current relationship if things are the same. I feel kind of stuck in the middle without much leverage to try to see where either relationship will go without risking losing the other. Could you please advise me?
LakesideDream Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 Rebound relationships are always difficult. Sounds like you started this one a little to early. Your new guy gives you the newness, romance and the sexual rush that comes from experiancing a new partner and the endorphines that are released. Your hubby is like the old pair of shoes you wear when you want comfort. You wouldn't think of running in them but they are just the thing for a comfortable weekend afternoon. If your new guy is who your think he is he will be willing to give you the time to sort out what your permenant intentions are with your husband. You should stop dating and sleeping with him to clear your system of all those nasty nice chemicals before making your decision. In any case, good luck to you, your choice isn't an easy one.
marazul Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 a few questions: why did you start dating right away after separation? i.e. you cannot be alone, man made a pass at you you coulnd't refuse, etc. Do YOU have a problem with alcohol also? Your husband doesn't have a job that's why he has "an unconditional amount of time", so which one do you prefer? Is sex important for you? why you made love with your husband only a few times in 10 years? In what your husband has changed? I think that you should ask yourself one hundred thousand questions about all this, be deep, I have the feeling that you don't even know yourself very well, what you like you need and want. I could never put up with an alcoholic, but only you knows if you can do it. For me it's not enough info to give you advice. good luck
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