lilwhitties Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 I'm a 22 year old college student finishing off my last year. I go to a small private college in a town where every knows everybody. For the most part I like the school I go too...last night a few fellow seniors and I went down the street to one of the bars. Before I went out I had about 6 beers or so...needless to say I was feeling pretty damn good when I got to the bar. Then I started drinking a few Rum and Cokes...you guessed it I got pretty intoxicated. I was approached by an older and very good looking man. One thing lead to another and we had sex. BIG MISTAKE. I was so drunk to the point where my body was responding but my thought process was clearly out the window. I did not know he was married until after we had sex. If I knew that then I NEVER would have slept with him. I probably wouldn't not have slept with him even if I was sober at that point in time. He told me that him and his wife are in an open relationship...which is a crock of bull. He has three children...and then I found the mother of all loads he's 42...clearly old enough to be my father. Yet he still wants to see me and has called. I told him that I have no interest in him and that it was a one night stand. Now I have this overwhelming feeling of guilt. I grew up in a house hold where infedility was a major problem. Both of my mother's ex husbands cheated on her and I told myself I would never have an affair with a married man. Not only did I do that but all I can think about is how his wife would feel...and he has kids on top of that...is there any way I can ease this guilt or just let it take is course????
michelangelo Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 The real problem to solve is your binge drinking to the point of having random sex. You really need to stop doing that. And get tested for STDs. Yes, it was not nice to sleep with a married guy, but that is not your problem. Just avoid him and bars and the overdrinking. Solve the booze problem and the impulsive self-destructive sex will stop too.
stampdaddy Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Slow down, girl... You made a little mistake by getting hooched.. YOU DID NOT KNOW HE WAS MARRIED... Just don't do that kind of stuff again.. You said you never wanted to have an Affair, SO DON'T.. If he calls again, DON'T ANSWER.. If he keeps calling, don't answer.. He'll stop calling because he'll find some other college chick.. You're OK, don't get so upset at yourself.. You did'nt know, now you do..
stampdaddy Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 The real problem to solve is your binge drinking to the point of having random sex. You really need to stop doing that. And get tested for STDs. Yes, it was not nice to sleep with a married guy, but that is not your problem. Just avoid him and bars and the overdrinking. Solve the booze problem and the impulsive self-destructive sex will stop too. A little harsh on the young girl, in MHO.. She's in college, she'll learn..
jj2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 You were drunk. You didn't know he was married. You already told him you weren't interested right? I would chalk it up to a big mistake. It is up to you to decide if you want to let the W know what a nasty H she has. If he keeps trying to contact you, tell him to leave you alone or his W will find out. Good luck!
michelangelo Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 A little harsh on the young girl, in MHO.. She's in college, she'll learn.. I didn't think that was harsh. Blunt maybe. How does one learn if not instructed? Yes, self awareness by experience is a good if not slow process. a terse summary of what to do is not what I'd call harsh. anyway original poser , I hope you make the right decisions for your life.
GreenEyedLady Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Now I have this overwhelming feeling of guilt. I grew up in a house hold where infedility was a major problem. Both of my mother's ex husbands cheated on her and I told myself I would never have an affair with a married man. Not only did I do that but all I can think about is how his wife would feel...and he has kids on top of that...is there any way I can ease this guilt or just let it take is course???? You're being too hard on yourself...You didn't know he was married...And he was a jerk to do what he did... Just be careful in the future...He should be careful too, because if you're intoxicated, you can't necessarily consent to sex, if you wanted to be bitchy about it...He should've been smarter especially because he's married... Make sure that you have someone watching you when you go out and you're safe...That's the key here, being safe...
Kasan Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 We all do stupid things that we are embarrassed and ashamed of, but the point is to learn from them. Did you use protection????
stampdaddy Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 I didn't think that was harsh. Blunt maybe. How does one learn if not instructed? Yes, self awareness by experience is a good if not slow process. a terse summary of what to do is not what I'd call harsh. anyway original poser , I hope you make the right decisions for your life. FYI My daughter is in College and I would KILL HER.. Now that's harsh:laugh: j/k.. But yeah, don't beat yourself up, JUST LEARN FROM THIS
michelangelo Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 FYI My daughter is in College and I would KILL HER.. Now that's harsh:laugh: j/k.. But yeah, don't beat yourself up, JUST LEARN FROM THIS As is mine! I've told her bluntly what to avoid too.
stampdaddy Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 As is mine! I've told her bluntly what to avoid too. Ain't easy is it sometimes... Mine had her issues is H.S., but I thinks were all clear now.. SHE LEARNED and became better from it...
Frances Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 He should be feeling very guilty taking advantage of a girl young enough to be his daughter. He is a real slimeball. Do not beat yourself up about it, you were drunk. Watch what you are drinking and have friends that will look out for each other. Did he use protection? Better have yourself checked out to be on the safe side. You would never know where he has been. His wife should know and if he does not leave you alone tell him you will inform her. Look on this as your mistake and learn from it, it might save you from a bigger one later. Its a hard lesson. Good luck
Author lilwhitties Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 The real problem to solve is your binge drinking to the point of having random sex. You really need to stop doing that. And get tested for STDs. Yes, it was not nice to sleep with a married guy, but that is not your problem. Just avoid him and bars and the overdrinking. Solve the booze problem and the impulsive self-destructive sex will stop too. I totally agree with you 100 percent and I do appreciate the blutness. I have cut down on my drinking considerably the last couple months of school...I think the combination of over drinking and the last hurrah of the semester just got to me a bit...
Author lilwhitties Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 Thanks for the advice...I think this was just a big learning experience for me and I def don't plan on going to any bars @ school for awhile...now that I know he's married I have no interest in him to begin with...and I've avoided his phone calls...
stampdaddy Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 I totally agree with you 100 percent and I do appreciate the blutness. I have cut down on my drinking considerably the last couple months of school...I think the combination of over drinking and the last hurrah of the semester just got to me a bit... It happens to the best of us.. Keep your spirits up.. well, you know what "spirits" I mean.....
Author lilwhitties Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 My buddies and I try to have at least one of us as the "designated walker" when we go out...last night we all got a little too carried away and did things that we should not have...but we all agree that we need someone sober around...
Author lilwhitties Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 We started having sex for a couple of seconds without a condom and then I couldn't do it anymore...I guess I sobered up a bit...I have an appointment on Monday @ PP to get tested and stuff...
stampdaddy Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 We started having sex for a couple of seconds without a condom and then I couldn't do it anymore...I guess I sobered up a bit...I have an appointment on Monday @ PP to get tested and stuff... Well if you were gonna do it, you shouldve done did it...
whichwayisup Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 This married guy was watching you and KNEW you were hammered, so he used that to his advantage. Definately a good decision to slow downthe drinking, there's a big difference of having afew drinks with friends and having some fun, than getting smashed drunk and not being incontrol of what you do WHILE you're drunk. You are lucky that this man seemed normal, it could have turned into quite a dangerous situation... Get checked out for STD's and take a pregnancy test too. I hope you are okay.
KATANYA Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 This man, who was old enough to be your father, is very lucky he isn't looking at a sexual assault charge for taking advantage of a very young, intoxicated girl who may not or could not give informed consent to sex..........I know you are not going to charge him but he's the worse kind of cheater, IMO.....I bet he never stops to consider the impact of what he has done (how he acts) with these young girls. They are other peoples children and could very well one day be his own....he's just disgusting!!!! BTW, I remember college well (or not so well....lol) Learning to drink responsibility is just another lesson in growing up...sorry you had to learn it in such a hard way! Good luck with your studies and put this behind you!
stampdaddy Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Question: I am a 22 year old college student, name Stampcollegeboy.. I get snockered and picked up by a 42 year old Married Woman... cha-ching I just wonder (seriously, not starting a big debate, maybe a "little" one) what kind of advice I'd be gettin'
Kasan Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Question: I am a 22 year old college student, name Stampcollegeboy.. I get snockered and picked up by a 42 year old Married Woman... cha-ching' Gotta tell you, your comment really rubbed me the wrong way....but for the record I would tell you the same thing that I told her.
stampdaddy Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Gotta tell you, your comment really rubbed me the wrong way....but for the record I would tell you the same thing that I told her. sorry.. didnt mean to offend
reboot Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 Well if you were gonna do it, you shouldve done did it...What exactly does that mean?
Ms. Red Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 lilwhitties: As a healthcare worker I just want to make sure your aware of Plan B if your not protected with birth control. It should be taken within 72 hours after unprotected sex. It's available in some states without an rx. Planned Parenthood will help you with this also. But Monday will be too late. Good Luck & don't beat yourself up. It's a hard learned lesson.
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