Steffie575 Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Hey all. I havent posted here in quite awhile. How is everyone? I am doing alot better, I think. I've been hanging out with friends a lot lately and trying to be positive and happy. I am proud to say that since the last time I posted (my birthday on November 7th) I have NOT tried to contact my ex! I usually feel pretty good. Of course I've had off days, like the day I took a nap and had a dream that put me in a bad and missing-him mood all day. I dreamt that he was standing in front of me with his new gf, pointed to her stomach and said, "She's pregnant." UGH I know it was a dream but I woke up with a start and was sad all day. I even cried over him later that night which I havent done in at least a month. It was a bad day. I've been praying alot, wishing I could get completely over him. I'll get there. The good thing about the breakup was that I'm much closer to my best friends again. That's great because the main reason I was so depressed when he broke up with me was because I felt I wouldnt have a best frirend to talk to about everything anymore. Ok, now that I gave an update, I'll tell you about the great book! It's called 'It's Called a Break-Up Because It's Broken' by Greg Behrendt, the same guy who wrote 'He's Just Not That Into You'. It's SUCH a great book. It focuses on making you realize that the relationship is OVER and its over for a REASON. If he (or she) was so great, he wouldnt have broken your heart. It helps you find ways to make yourself feel good, has psycho ex stories, a section where there are breakup stories that will make you feel better about your own breakup. And it's funny, in a serious way, if that makes sense. I highly reccommend it. A line from the book that has stuck with me: "You have to realize that not only did he choose to be without you, he actually PREFERS it." Harsh, but true. Looking at it that way helped me see that it'a not my fault. I shouldnt kill myself daily thinking of him or trying to contact him when he PREFERS his life without me. I (we) deserve better! Hope everyone is doing well!
AriaIncognito Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 It's great to hear you are doing better. I have read both the Greg Behrendt books and they each have their value and some things that don't apply. Either way, he does have a point. With "it's called a breakup because it's broken" he has a very valid point. You'd not be broken up if there wasn't a serious flaw in the relationship. And regardless of what it is, no amount of us hoping it will go away will change that. I occasionally will reread parts of that book. I'm glad that you've found things to give you strength during a tough time.
Graduate Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 Hey, I remember that book! I read that during my break-up 3 years ago, and it really put me in a more optimistic mood. Especially the story about his wife and her ex-husband. To think that now she is happily married with kids, when she thought her life was over after her ex dumped her. Gave me hope that I would yet find my happiness as well. Good luck getting better soon. I am sure you'll get there, it just takes some time.
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