Cardell Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 2 days ago, I asked a girl who i really liked to be my girlfriend. We made it official. We really like each other alot, shes pretty, fun, very smart and treats me right. I'll be moving from Louisiana to New York to attend school and I don't know If should cut the relationship off and be friends. The problem is that she is 17 and I am 20. Her parents has an issue with it and so does her brothers and friends. Its a BIG DEAL to them. There's something telling me that this isn't right to date someone under age, I feel that it will cause her parents to worry. What do you guys think?
Trialbyfire Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 I don't see a big issue with a three year age gap between a 17 year-old and a 20 year-old. I would if you were 17 and she were 14. You have a couple of things to consider here. One is, as you mentioned, the family disapproval. How does she normally relate to her family, in that, has she always been very reliant on family opinion? The other challenge is when you turn 21 and she's underage for bars, clubs and drinking.
Author Cardell Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 I don't see a big issue with a three year age gap between a 17 year-old and a 20 year-old. I would if you were 17 and she were 14. You have a couple of things to consider here. One is, as you mentioned, the family disapproval. How does she normally relate to her family, in that, has she always been very reliant on family opinion? The other challenge is when you turn 21 and she's underage for bars, clubs and drinking. Yes, she has been reliant to her families opinion, and she was saying that she won't be able to stay out at night with me because shes a junior in high school. Another problem is that I don't have car to pick her up to go out and Im in school full time and i work 9 hours 5 days a week so its hectic. She will be going to Spelman College when she graduates so that will create another problem i will be in New York and she will be in Atlanta.
Trialbyfire Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Yes, she has been reliant to her families opinion, and she was saying that she won't be able to stay out at night with me because shes a junior in high school. Another problem is that I don't have car to pick her up to go out and Im in school full time and i work 9 hours 5 days a week so its hectic. She will be going to Spelman College when she graduates so that will create another problem i will be in New York and she will be in Atlanta. "senior in high school" I'm not going to soft-sell you. Realistically speaking, this is sounding less and less feasible, at least for the long-term. Perhaps this will be something more short-term. Who knows. I guess you can only try. Edit: I should qualify this, in that it's not a matter of ethics but feasibility. She's responsible for herself and her relationship with her family. She has to understand that any actions she takes, are her actions to own.
Tyra Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 I would understand that her parents have a problem you dating their daughter, because I use to be in the same boat. But I think if the two of you are really for one another, then y'all will make it work. But there's a question, if you knew that you was moving to New York, why would you form a relationship?
topsekkrets Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 I say sleep on it and think about things. Your young,these things happen. If you truly like her you can wait.
ElvenPriestess Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 She's in High School, you're moving away for college, she's moving elsewhere when she graduates. She's underage, you'll be of drinking age and she won't be. All these things are points that you both need to address with each other. They are all causes for concern, and you need to be sure that you both are completely realistic about this. It's easy to get swept up in the fantasy, so watch out for that too.
Recommended Posts