Cannondale Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 So my ex gf told me tonight that she still has feelings for me and is still in love with me. But then she says she likes some other guy too. I told her this didn't make sense, as how can you be in love with someone and yet like someone else at the same time also. She said it's just like, and that she likes me more and that she still loves me etc. This all came up after she asked me if I was mad at her and I told her I was bec. she's already eying up another guy after only a 1.5week break off. She said she was confused and thats why shes "doing her own thing". She already said she would be willing to give it another go down the rd. when we broke up, I told her just a bit ago if thats going to happen it's not gonna happen if I'm going to be 2nd best to this new guy she likes. Just seems like shes gonna try stuff with the new guy and then if it doesn't work come back to me, I wont put up with that. What does everyone think? Is she just yanking my chain to keep me around?
LakesideDream Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 You don't say so, but you sound pretty young, early 20's? ditto your "Girlfriend". Anyway, your girlfriend is doing what Girlfriends, and for that matter Boyfriends do. Checking out possibilities. You aren't married, and didnt say you were engaged. Without a committment other than "going steady" this is normal behavior, part of growing up and maturing. Unless you fill in with additional facts, that's what it looks like to me.
Author Cannondale Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 You don't say so, but you sound pretty young, early 20's? ditto your "Girlfriend". Anyway, your girlfriend is doing what Girlfriends, and for that matter Boyfriends do. Checking out possibilities. You aren't married, and didnt say you were engaged. Without a committment other than "going steady" this is normal behavior, part of growing up and maturing. Unless you fill in with additional facts, that's what it looks like to me. No I agree. I just don't see how you can still be in love with someone and yet be liking someone else at the same time...just doesn't make sense to me.
BalancenLuv20 Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 I hate to say it cannondale, but I don't think she loves you. I think she's too young to know what true love really is. It's obvious by her comment she made to you. Maybe love you as a person, but not as a significant other. Girls sometimes are very ambiguous about how they use the word "love" towards a guy. I'd suggest you tell her to figure out what she wants and ignore her until then. If she wants you great but tell her this other guy is outta the picture or else you're outta the picture. Good luck and best of wishes man.
Author Cannondale Posted December 15, 2007 Author Posted December 15, 2007 I hate to say it cannondale, but I don't think she loves you. I think she's too young to know what true love really is. It's obvious by her comment she made to you. Maybe love you as a person, but not as a significant other. Girls sometimes are very ambiguous about how they use the word "love" towards a guy. I'd suggest you tell her to figure out what she wants and ignore her until then. If she wants you great but tell her this other guy is outta the picture or else you're outta the picture. Good luck and best of wishes man. I 100% agree. I told her that same thing, that it's not being love with someone with what she is doing. She told me on a daily bases that she was in love with me when we were going out, and even had a isolated convo. with me about, to make sure that I know shes in love with me and not just as a person as you say. I agree it was either all a lie, or she's just not in it anymore. But I'm staying the hell away from her, I have not made any effort to contact her, it's all been done through her. And I have already told her she needs to figure out what she is gonna do, and that he will not be in the picture if she comes back.
cant let go Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 So my ex gf told me tonight that she still has feelings for me and is still in love with me. But then she says she likes some other guy too. I told her this didn't make sense, as how can you be in love with someone and yet like someone else at the same time also. She said it's just like, and that she likes me more and that she still loves me etc. This all came up after she asked me if I was mad at her and I told her I was bec. she's already eying up another guy after only a 1.5week break off. She said she was confused and thats why shes "doing her own thing". She already said she would be willing to give it another go down the rd. when we broke up, I told her just a bit ago if thats going to happen it's not gonna happen if I'm going to be 2nd best to this new guy she likes. Just seems like shes gonna try stuff with the new guy and then if it doesn't work come back to me, I wont put up with that. What does everyone think? Is she just yanking my chain to keep me around? i think what she is going through is completely natural and like Lakeside, i get the impression that you guys are pretty young. giving her an ultimatum is probably only a surefire way to lose her. If you really love her you will grant her the space she needs to explore her feelings and "confusion". Be supportive and caring but take care of yourself during this time. If she does love you she will come back but not if you make her feel bad about what she is going through. doubts are completely normal even when you truly do love someone. love is not black or white and love goes through many waves of intensity. understanding is key. there are many great books out there written for the situation you are describing. just go to amazon.com and search for "love" and i'm sure you will get many results. good luck, i hope you are patient and willing to grow with this person that you love. if you are not, then perhaps you don't actually love her the way you think you do.
BalancenLuv20 Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 i think what she is going through is completely natural and like Lakeside, i get the impression that you guys are pretty young. giving her an ultimatum is probably only a surefire way to lose her. If you really love her you will grant her the space she needs to explore her feelings and "confusion". Be supportive and caring but take care of yourself during this time. If she does love you she will come back but not if you make her feel bad about what she is going through. doubts are completely normal even when you truly do love someone. love is not black or white and love goes through many waves of intensity. understanding is key. there are many great books out there written for the situation you are describing. just go to amazon.com and search for "love" and i'm sure you will get many results. good luck, i hope you are patient and willing to grow with this person that you love. if you are not, then perhaps you don't actually love her the way you think you do. The one thing I don't agree with regarding your post is that an ultimatum to her would be a bad thing. I see nothing wrong with it. It sounds like Cannondale told her in an honest and genuine manner without being too harsh. He is granting her the space she needs, but he's also being assertive by saying he's not going to stand for her having feelings for another guy while they are dating and she's telling him she loves him everynight. Plus this kid is in his early 20's. There is plenty of time to find love, he is in no hurry. Cannondale I say if this girl can't give you a straight answer after you've given her what you feel sufficient time for her to come a decision, then move on. You can't wait for her forever because it will only setback the exciting times in your life you are beginning to experience. I made that mistake with my ex and guess what, she found a new bf!!! Good luck.
Author Cannondale Posted December 15, 2007 Author Posted December 15, 2007 Cannondale I say if this girl can't give you a straight answer after you've given her what you feel sufficient time for her to come a decision, then move on. You can't wait for her forever because it will only setback the exciting times in your life you are beginning to experience. I made that mistake with my ex and guess what, she found a new bf!!! Good luck. I totally agree. But to be honest I don't know if I want her back now, she has lied to me on a few separate occasions about this new guy(is she hanging out with him on a certain night, saying shes only friends with him etc). To me honestly is everything, and she should not be lying to me about this or anything else weather we're both single now or not. I'm just gonna do my own thing for now I think, if she comes back down the road, then I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Any more advice/insight from anyone?.
Recommended Posts