Confused9 Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Most of you know my story. My X fiance cheated while working in another state to help pay for our wedding...supposedly they are now having a baby. He has been RUDE RUDE RUDE. Told me he never loved me, she knows how to treat him, I was mean, I suck, I was awful...etc. Last time he contacted me he told me to LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! Tonight...just got a text message from him...after almost 3 weeks... Happy holidays to you and your family. WTF????
whichwayisup Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Whatever you do, don't answer him. He must be retarded or something, how dare he contact you after all the rotten things he's said to you, let alone DONE to you!
Author Confused9 Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 UGH! I just don't even know what to think. How dare he think after all this he can say that. It's not like my family is going to be like...oh, great thanks. I mean...he hurt them too. Heck, he said all I ever cared about was my family (brother, sisters, mom) so...why is he even bringing them in to this? I won't contact him back...but again, it just shows how heartless he is. Saying something like that after everything he's done! UGH!
michaelk Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Definitely just ignore it. He's still playing a cruel game with you, and the best response is no response at all. That way he can't get any gratification from his cruelty.
Tomcat33 Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 He must be retarded or something that was too funny and true. Text him back "F-OFF", just kidding..sort of of. He feels guilty and probably doubts his decision and wants to know if he still has an in with you. I let him wonder. He'll fall flat on his face in his new "life" and by the time he comes squirming back hopefully you can tell him NO FRIGGIN WAY, Buuuh-bye! What he did to you is inexcusable but lucky you didn't marry him I can relate the gem of an ex fiance of mine I had, did the same thing he screwed his coworker one druken night but he was not mean about it just stupid, very stupid.
smartgirl Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 I wondered this before, but now I really wonder - is there any chance that the nasty messages are being sent by his new girlfriend on his email and phone when he isn't around and he doesn't know it? Or has he actually said this things verbally?
Trialbyfire Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 I also agree not to respond but if you have to, you can tell him: Thanks. I told my family and they suggested I give you the finger. Happy Holidays.
Tomcat33 Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 I wondered this before, but now I really wonder - is there any chance that the nasty messages are being sent by his new girlfriend on his email and phone when he isn't around and he doesn't know it? Or has he actually said this things verbally? Hmm what would the motive be for the new chick to do that?
Author Confused9 Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 I don't think it was the new girl at all. He admitted to me he was wrong about being mean at times in person and on phone. It was him. I am not sure if she knows about me?
Author Confused9 Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 I also agree not to respond but if you have to, you can tell him: Thanks. I told my family and they suggested I give you the finger. Happy Holidays. HAHAHAHA I am so not writing him back but if I did...I would totally say that. FUNNIEST thing ever!!! LOL!!!!
cj1988 Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 I told you ! THE GUILT IS KICKING IN NOW AND HE KNOWS HE IS A PIECE OF CRAP.....YOU should feel really GOOD right now.....hang tight and see what he does next....whatever you do....DO NOT text or call him at all.
Author Confused9 Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 I know CJ...I can't believe he would even think to text me that. UGH! I actualyl couldn't wait for you to respond.
ICallsEmAsISeesEm Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 This guy is such an emotionally stunted LOSER. What is he, like 16 years old? Using LAME Myspace to make stupid, juvenile remarks to get to you (that's you're first clue that he's emotionally retarded - hanging out in the cesspool that is MySpace) and sending texts to you like some juvenile teenage MORON. You don't realize the huge bullet you dodged by losing this piece of sh*t. You should be on your knees thanking whoever it was that Peter Pan is GONE from your life. One day you'll meet a REAL man - one who isn't a juvenile a*sshole playing on Myspace and sending stupid ass text messages.
hippiechick Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Ahhhhh yes....here we go his greener grass is turning brown! He is trying to get his foot in the door again! This is so classic! I agree don't contact him. Let him wonder who you are with and what you are doing. Let him swallow all the pain he has caused and feel it himself. What a jerk!
Author Confused9 Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 Perhaps, he really just wanted to say happy holidays? Perhaps he isn't in pain and he is just trying to be friendly? Either way I am not responding, but...it hurts me to think he is hurting. Ah! What about when I was hurting? It obviously didn't bother him. Why am I even thinking about his feelings? Thank you everyone!!!
whichwayisup Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 As tempting as it is to tell him to F-OFF and also say what Trialbyfire suggested (that's hilarious btw) it's probably best to stay silent. By doing that YOU have the power and control here and HE is the one who doesn't know wtf to think anymore...So, just let him stew in his own steaming sh*t.
Author Confused9 Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 AHHHH! This is so hard. I still love this man dearly. The thought that he is upset is making me sad. Crazy huh? He has OW to help him now. Let her deal with his saddness. He did this to me. I had no choice in the matter. I can't just pretend it didn't happen. If he wants to call me OR better yet come back here and talk...then at that point, maybe I will. But, a silly little impersonal text is not going to do it. I am just scared that I am blowing a chance of any reconciliation. I know that sounds stupid because WHY WOULD I WANT TO BE WITH HIM? But, my heart still does want to be with him...my head DOES NOT! I know we can't be together again. Not after all this, but part of me wants too. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
michaelk Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Listen to your head. Even if you were to reconcile, how would you ever regain a sense of closeness with him? After seven years of telling you he loved you, he walked away and treated you like you were his sworn enemy. If he tells you he loves you again, do you really think it will feel the same way? You'll always doubt because of what's happened. And that will always stand between you.
Author Confused9 Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 I know. I know. I know. AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just miss him. I want him to hold me one more time. He ruined this. He did this. He doesn't deserve me! I know I could never get past what he has done, ever. Too much damage. Too many negative things were said by him. I would always feel nervous and I doubt I would trust him. But...I miss our friendship. I miss his face. AH!
cj1988 Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 I told you, SMILE......you know either way YOU were on his mind, what does that tell you. That should make your Friday ! If you ignore him, he will text or call you again, you will see...... My H never calls me when he is late and rarely comes straight home from work. The last week (now that he sees I am done and MEAN it) he is coming home every night and called me last night like I care at 5PM to tell me he was on his way.....TOO BAD, if it took me to NOT care for him to be a MAN, than I do not want it....BUT I can smile now and have good days while he gets past it IF he can......so yo see, things will get better, just BE STRONG IT IS VERY HARD and ignore him, it works !
Author Confused9 Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 He may not even care though, you know? Maybe he was just weak for a minute? Maybe not. I have no idea what his intentions are. He may never contact me again. It's so sad what we have become!
JustBreathe Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Confused, he may still care, but not enough to leave his OW for you. He's trying to relieve his guilt a little. Wants a kind word from you so he doesn't feel like such a p.o.s. Of course you still love him, it takes a long time to let go when you love someone. That doesn't mean he loves you back or you should be with him. IGNORE IT COMPLETELY. Move on. He has. Sorry to be so blunt, I know it hurts, but he has a baby with another woman and he is living with her. He has moved on.
Trialbyfire Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 He may not even care though, you know? Maybe he was just weak for a minute? Maybe not. I have no idea what his intentions are. He may never contact me again. It's so sad what we have become! While it maybe sad, don't forget that his OW is pregnant. The last thing you want, is to be embroiled in a situation of "baby momma drama". Also, you don't want to become the OW, which is what you would be, if you let him back into your life. Maybe that's what he wants, wanting that forbidden high.
Author Confused9 Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 I know. Part of me still doesn't believe she is pregnant though. I don't know. This is all too confusing. As far as being the OW...he was my fiance...she is an always will be the OW...if I got back with him - I would NOT see it that way. Not saying I will get back with him but calling me the OW is just strange.
cj1988 Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 My brother in law did the same thing to his W who was pregnant with his child....he left her for the OW who was also so called pregnant....then when the OW supposedly lost the baby he can crying back to his W....she took him back over 12 years ago.....they fight all the time, he still cheats and they have ZERO sex. He is in the doghouse 24/7 and refuses to grow up and be a MAN....too add his wife has MS (diagnosed last year) and he is STILL a POS ! So, you see baby...it would not work anyway.....his W resents him now and ALWAYS will......is that the way to live a life??? NO NO NO ! My H family is all f---- in the head anyway....he can have them ALL, but he can no longer have ME, YEAH MY choice, not his ! Damn I am GOOD !
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