Break it off or hang in there?

[Lee725]

I've been seeing a new guys for about 6 weeks.

 

Met on a "blind date", a group thing.

I was told (lied to - not by him) that he had been broken up with his EX for months, found out a couple of weeks into it that it was only 2 weeks.

They were together 10 years and they have a 2.5yr old.

 

He is having real big issues with the EX - she left him, she even left the baby for a week when it first happened, he has made it no secret that he didnt want to end it with her, he wanted to work on it and done everything in his ability to try with her.

She was adimant at the time and he had to walk away.

 

Now She is trying to convince him to have Christmas together as a family like nothing has happened, he has told her (i think) that this cant happen.

 

He has told her that they can not "be friends" and that the only contact which they should have is in regards to their son.

Apprently she gets very upset about this - a clear indication she is not pleased with what she has done!

 

She implies in statements to him which untill recently he repeated to me, that she does not want him, but wants no-one else to have him, .... this amoung other things.

 

He has made no secret about me, i have met and been welcomed into his family. I have met some of his friends.

(he introduced me to his fam 1 week after we met ).

 

She started continually coming up in conversation.

Originally i told him it was OK to talk about her when the issues were serious (i cant avoid this because of the child connection).

 

The statements about her went from serious issues to everyday chit-chat, i started feeling like a third wheel and told him i could not take it anymore.

Even his mum was looking to me as an outlet for her frustrations in regards to his EX, she once said she wanted to take a photo of me and send it to him because she could not believe how much i looked like his ex with my hair curly, (he was not home at the time - i was waiting there for him).

 

There is a lot more to this story and i am glad to share as questioned, the advise i am asking for is this:

 

Since i have expressed my feelings in regards to her continually being brought up in conversation he has changed, he has become very withdrawn.

It was only 2 weeks ago this guy was implying that he wanted to live with me in a few months, he wanted me around for a long time and that he was already "very attached" to me.

 

Now he seems depressed and when i ask him what is wrong, he says he does not want to drag me into his "**** & drama", nice sentiment, but when you are close to someone and they wont let you help them it makes you feel like an outsider. (what's the point feeling i guess).

 

Everything has moved with him so very quickly.

 

I am wanting to believe that he is just going thru some emotions in regards to the split with her and that if i give him time and space he will be OK and things may work out for us.

 

I dont want to be back here bitching in another 2 months because he has decided to go back to her.

He is very honest about what has happened with her, when i ask questions he does not hesitate to answer.

We live about 50 min apart and he makes every effort to come and see me normally.

(even at 1:30 am in the morning he drives the hour to just come and sleep beside me.... that time in the morning because he is a shift worker, he then leaves my house at 8am to go home and look after his son who gets dropped at his (parents) house by HER at 9:15 am everyday- except Friday).

 

Even through these moments of sadness in him, he tells me he does not want me to go anywhere, he almost gets scared when i ask him if it would be easier for him to deal with this should i not be around.

 

Do i give up on this guy and let him go (perhaps he may contact me when he has his stuff sorted - if i am available).

Or do i hang in there, give him space and be available when he needs me?

 

He is a REALLY GREAT GUY, who i can see myself spending a lot of time with in the future, but i dont want to get hurt again, and they way i have connected with this guy already i could end up getting VERY HURT:confused:

 

It's funny you know, i find it pretty easy to give advice on here & normally the advice i give comes from "What i would do in that situation", now it is my own stuff going on..... I dont have a clue!

 

Thanks for reading, i would appreciate all input as i am a little scattered at the moment and need some help from my LS friends!

[blon_dee]

Honestly, i would say stay well away from this one.. Im sure hes a great guy, but if its only been such a short time hes split from such a long relationship, it is fraught with danger girl...... Take care

[Lee725]

Thanks Blon dee, i was thinking the same thing..... Better safe than sorry with this one?..........