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Men and long-term "crushes"


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Posted

ha good advice if I ever heard it! Could be the 11th commandment? A lil addendum to not coveting thy neighbor's wife.

Posted
.... even when your wife was cheating on you?

 

Sorry just finishing your thought. :o

 

You think maybe she had the "I don't want you, but I don't want anyone else to have you either!" complex?? :laugh: She never actually "cheated" that I ever found out about, just the making out with a "friend" on our doorstep. :rolleyes: Cheating enough for me....

 

Yeah, you might as well send the "Girlfriend Stealing" thread. :D I'm all up for it now. It'd be the utmost revenge on my XW too! I'm not sure I'll have to do any stealing though. Last I talked to her, her BF wouldn't move away from his mommy if she got a new job somewhere else. :eek::lmao:

Posted
You want a link to my thread on Girlfriend Stealing? It works if your good!

 

Now you've got my curiosity :).

Posted
Are you serious? While you were with your wife? And you had no idea? Wow i have to say-your wife must have picked up something...some kind of feeling about that.

 

My X always questioned her, would bring it up in every little argument and used it as ammunition. The problem was, there was never even any contact or anything between the sister and I anymore, and she was always worried and stewing about it. I wasn't the one that couldn't be trusted in the relationship, obviously.

Posted
Whatever Saxis! It's never too late!

 

You want a link to my thread on Girlfriend Stealing? It works if your good!

 

What do you mean? You wrote it? Or just a general "my"?

Posted
You think maybe she had the "I don't want you, but I don't want anyone else to have you either!" complex?? :laugh: She never actually "cheated" that I ever found out about, just the making out with a "friend" on our doorstep. :rolleyes: Cheating enough for me....

 

Yeah, you might as well send the "Girlfriend Stealing" thread. :D I'm all up for it now. It'd be the utmost revenge on my XW too! I'm not sure I'll have to do any stealing though. Last I talked to her, her BF wouldn't move away from his mommy if she got a new job somewhere else. :eek::lmao:

 

Serious Saxis, never give up! You read through these boards and what do you find all the time. Some poor schmuck saying.

 

"My wife is leaving me for her Highschool BF" Or whatever. Sure your chances go down because you never hit it with her... but jeeze put in some effort and change that!

 

Now you've got my curiosity :).

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t127666/

 

What do you mean? You wrote it? Or just a general "my"?

 

Both. I used a format from somewhere else and filled the content in with my "experiences". Which we will not discuss at this time. :o

 

Oh... I've often thought that I may need to write one on getting out of the "friend zone" which I dont think really exists!

Posted
Oh... I've often thought that I may need to write one on getting out of the "friend zone" which I dont think really exists!

 

I'm totally reading this thread! How can you say the friend zone doesn't exist? Wow-maybe you should write something up and publish it too. My curiosity is picqued!

Posted
I'm totally reading this thread! How can you say the friend zone doesn't exist? Wow-maybe you should write something up and publish it too. My curiosity is picqued!

 

Well, it exists... but not in the way men typically view it.

 

It's much more fluid.

 

It's like this. First impressions are important. However, they are not everything.

 

Therefore is it not logical that we men can through our actions, change how women percieve us?

Posted

Can you really respect a woman who would have to transition over to you? One that you won away from another?

 

What happens later?

Posted
Serious Saxis, never give up! You read through these boards and what do you find all the time. Some poor schmuck saying.

 

"My wife is leaving me for her Highschool BF" Or whatever. Sure your chances go down because you never hit it with her... but jeeze put in some effort and change that!

 

I'll see what I can do... My best friend just had twins and she's supposed to come back sometime during the Holidays to visit! :bunny::D

Posted
Therefore is it not logical that we men can through our actions, change how women percieve us?

Yes and no- I had a friend I was on the fence about- iffy chemistry- I liked and appreciated the friendship . The more we talked the more convinced I became I wouldn't take a chance on him because he seemed to find faults with all women, and sounded like a commitment phobe. There was nothing-and I mean nothing-he could have done to change my mind once I decided that. No backtracking, no declarations of "you're different". I would never have given him a chance after that. But I liked him as a friend! (see: permenaently friend zoned)

 

 

Other times it really is just a lack of chemistry, and nothing can change that.

 

Your experiences sound like you were never friendzoned to begin with-that they always had a latent interest in you (not to dismiss the sheer machivalleaness of it all!)

Posted
I'll see what I can do... My best friend just had twins and she's supposed to come back sometime during the Holidays to visit! :bunny::D

 

Straight up... if you need advice start a thread! I'll be there!

 

Maybe a touch scandalous... but 'the course of love never did run smooth'! (points if you know that quote) :laugh:

Posted
Yes and no- I had a friend I was on the fence about- iffy chemistry- I liked and appreciated the friendship . The more we talked the more convinced I became I wouldn't take a chance on him because he seemed to find faults with all women, and sounded like a commitment phobe. There was nothing-and I mean nothing-he could have done to change my mind once I decided that. No backtracking, no declarations of "you're different". I would never have given him a chance after that. But I liked him as a friend! (see: permenaently friend zoned)

 

Other times it really is just a lack of chemistry, and nothing can change that.

 

Your experiences sound like you were never friendzoned to begin with-that they always had a latent interest in you (not to dismiss the sheer machivalleaness of it all!)

 

LOL... Ok... your more logical than most... but your still a girl! Trust me... If I had played Cyrano... to this guy you friendzoned. Given time and his good ability... You'd have dated him.

 

Probably found out he was still a douche and dumped him... but dated him non the less!

 

Now, go read my GF theft thread and tell me I dont have at least some basic idea what I'm doing!

Posted

 

Interesting. Doesn't seem that difficult.

 

Oh... I've often thought that I may need to write one on getting out of the "friend zone" which I dont think really exists!

 

By all means put pen to paper, my friend.

Posted

Wow,

 

Guys really do think in the short term spectrum of things.

Posted
Interesting. Doesn't seem that difficult.

 

It's not... and it is.

 

As in everything I tried to generalize as much as possible to make it fit multiple situations.

 

The key is the hook! If you cannot get her interested... you've already lost.

 

So, make sure you flirt with her tons... but not in an overtly sexual way at the start.

 

Use a technique like mirroring! That will help move her emotions in the right direction.

 

Ok... first... I'm sorry that I sound like a player... I'm not. Second I apologize for the Thread Jack!

Posted

Oh no Cobra,

 

In this thread, you are a pristine example of a long term crusher.

 

....go on.

 

I am curious though as to the type of woman you base this experience on? Also, the result. Then...the extended result.

 

*notebook open and pencil raised*

Posted
Can you really respect a woman who would have to transition over to you? One that you won away from another?

 

What happens later?

 

Well first... this works on all women if your willing to be patient... and you know what your doing. Even if your dating Mr. Perfect... eventually your going to hit a tough time!

 

Second, yes some guys can respect that... some just want a hump and dump. See the OW section if you want proof of that!

 

Wow,

 

Guys really do think in the short term spectrum of things.

 

I'd say its the other way around! :p

 

Otherwise... this crap would never work!

Posted
Well first... this works on all women if your willing to be patient... and you know what your doing. Even if your dating Mr. Perfect... eventually your going to hit a tough time!

 

Second, yes some guys can respect that... some just want a hump and dump. See the OW section if you want proof of that!

 

 

 

I'd say its the other way around! :p

 

Otherwise... this crap would never work!

 

Oh that is sad. No, not all women. I am not the only one.

 

I have NEVER thrown a man under the bus for another man.

 

I will admit to having thoughts, but if those thoughts got too out of hand (which I do not allow). Then I drop both ideas. It is a flag to me that something is wrong with ME. I have never thus far faultered from this (maybe it is just my truth).

 

No, never have I entertained that. The women I do know that 'float' well, I just have to say. You get what you wish for.

 

You have been warned, by a woman.

Posted
Oh that is sad. No, not all women. I am not the only one.

 

I have NEVER thrown a man under the bus for another man.

 

I will admit to having thoughts, but if those thoughts got too out of hand (which I do not allow). Then I drop both ideas. It is a flag to me that something is wrong with ME. I have never thus far faultered from this (maybe it is just my truth).

 

You may not have done that... yet. More than likely that has to do with opportunity. That word means different things to different people. For some guys... that would be a naked woman falling from the sky. Most women it's a touch more complicated. You have be be a better deal...

 

Do you like shoe shopping?

Posted

Do you like shoe shopping?

 

Of course, I love to shoe shop. I am a girl.

 

However, I do not equate relationship potential with shoe shopping, or any shopping.

 

I study what is available to me. I make a decision, and I try my best to value it when I have it. I KNOW I will never find that PERSON at the store again. I will value my shoe guy until the tread runs smooth...and then some.

 

I am all about the connection.

 

Then again, I have fallen victim to the 'exchange'.

 

Maybe I am just in the lost and found. :o

Posted

Don't worry, underpants, the chances of me doing the things in Cobra's "Steal Someone's Girlfriend" manual (If you can call it that) are pretty slim. I do have these thoughts now and again, but I wouldn't do it in real life. That was just curiosity.

 

Sorry for the thread jack too, btw.

Posted

I'm not worried. I find the discussion facinating. I think it touches on some real issues that people have.

 

I tried to edit my previous repsonse to add:

 

edit...I have had (over years and experience) plenty of opportunities to upgrade, but the thought of that alone has always felt (to me) like a downgrade. Maybe I can't explain it well.

Posted

I would also add that that little recipe is probably really great for getting a single and available girl.

 

I guess I just don't equate much difference between being able to steal a girlfriend and later being able to steal a wife.

 

How do you want to invest?

Posted
I would also add that that little recipe is probably really great for getting a single and available girl.

 

I guess I just don't equate much difference between being able to steal a girlfriend and later being able to steal a wife.

 

How do you want to invest?

I don't think Cobra is talking about much, if any investment or an LTR, with a girl who can be stolen.

 

I agree with you unders. When someone is in a committed, exclusive relationship, this shouldn't work and if it does, there are more serious issues.

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