stepheine Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 I am posting this for the really sad members out there!! I have barely talked to my ex for a week and a half and the first couple of days were filled with questions that I will never get answers to. I did the whole what went wrong, was it me, thing for a few days. And by now I feel 100 times better!! I have let him go all together. I do not think he is a horrible person, I am not angry with him, I just was not Ms. Right for him and he was not Mr. Right for me. I wish this guy the best, I want him to live his life the way he sees best for him, and most of all I want him to be happy. I have come to peace with the fact that he broke up with me the way he saw best and it was his way and I respect his way because I do respect him. Most of all I know I am ok without him. I am happy without him, I still have great friends and family, a great career that I love, and I love me. I don't know when I will date again but the door is open, I will not close it, and I will appreciate the times I did have with this mysterious guy I dated. He is a mystery to me b/c there are things I will never know and maybe it is better that way. So for those who are still hurt know that it is not the end of you and that person, love them enough or respect them enough to let them have their life away from you and you do the same. Think about it differently sometimes we take things personally and maybe we shouldn't b/c that person who broke up with us is no better they are just now without us and that sucks for them!!! Know you were good in the relationship and you cared. You only have control over yourself be good to you!!
jdizzle Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 I can totally relate to what you're saying. After a couple of weeks of NC I felt the same way. I suddenly realized that I just wanted my ex to be happy. I loved her so much that I wanted her happiness. And if she wasn't happy with me, then I respected her decision to leave me. Those thoughts gave me so much peace, and I felt like such a better person. It really was a good feeling. But at the same time I was still hurt, because I still loved her so much that the selfish part of me just wanted her to be with me. A word of caution though... for me at least, the sadness returned somewhat. After another few days I was depressed again. And now, after another couple of weeks, I just want to be with her so badly. I still love her. And I still want her to be happy. But I still want to be with her so badly. It is better though.. its not as hard as the first week or so. I think coping goes in cycles... things get better and then things get worse... over and over. Thats how it is for me at least. So, if you find yourself sad again... don't worry, I think its natural. Keep up the good work, everything will turn out good in the end
femmdevil Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 If a relationship didn't end in betrayal or something like that, it is nice to feel peaceful in this way about your ex. We all have lessons to learn from relationships, and maybe your ex is genuinely a good person despite their shortcomings with you. It is hard to find quality people, so why not keep LC/friendship an option if you can form it non-destructive to future relationships?
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