loveberry Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 Long story short, I met a nice guy who was really attracted to me and was pursuing me for about two months. At first I was alot more hesitant than he was, because we have some cultural differences and I also wanted to take it alot slower regarding sex. Finally I sat him down and we had a talk about it. The end conclusion was that now he wants to back out and just be friends. He admitted he could feel the differences between us and he wasn't sure a relationship would have long term potential. He also said he had slight commitment issues because of a bad previous relationship and he wouldn't want me to think otherwise (which is cool because I've just gotten out of one myself). However he really likes me, is attracted to me, and thinks I'm great. He wouldn't want to play me and then screw me over, even though he knows it is possible because he can tell I like him alot. He wants to do the right thing and not a create a situation where we get serious about each other, sleep together (he knows sex is a big deal for me though I'm not ultra-conservative), not work out, and then end up hating each other. Now I know it might sound like a line from a guy who isn't that into me. But believe me this isn't the case. This guy was very interested and attracted to me for the past couple of months and he says it's not a case of interest fading. He's just thinking logically and rationally now - overthinking things in fact. I feel a bit stupid for initiating this talk because obviously it has made him pull back. However I can also feel that now he has alot of respect for me because he knows I'm not the sort of girl to mess around with. I really like him and believe we can work through our differences, especially now that he seems to consider me and my values. And I can tell he's still very physically attracted to me even though I don't want to use sex to reel him in. He's convinced we have no long term potential so he doesn't even want to try dating casually for a while longer in case we get too attached to each other. Whereas I feel the longer we know each other, the better we get along. We definitely got off on the wrong foot in some instances so what has happened so far isn't a good indication of what's to come. How can I convince him to get back on board? I'm quite stunned by this turn of events to be honest. I don't want an immediate commitment or to marry this guy, just exclusive dating and having fun together. Do I still make plans to see him and just try to show him slowly that we do have something? Or should I just give him his space and wait to see if he'll come back? I don't want to take the wrong step here because if I push it, we might get back for a while but he'd always have these doubts at the back of his mind which is self destructive. I want to him to be truly open to the idea we might actually work out. Advice needed please!
Author loveberry Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 No opinions on this one? Really need help here!
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