Auromali Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 My wife and I are splitting. We've been married ten years and have 3 children together plus one from her Ex. We've always had some troubles. I got angry, sometimes I hit ... I looked at porn and other women ... I never wanted anyone else but I looked. A few years back when we were having trouble she cheated on me, I found out a year later when she confessed on her own. I stopped most of my problems but I still get angry. A few months ago I noticed she was spending a lot of time talking to one particular guy from a gaming forum we administer. I started seeing things that went beyond friendship when she wasn't deleteing histories or being secretive. We were having bad times again and she wanted me to move out so she had space to decide what she really wanted. Some things came up and I haven't been able to leave yet. So I installed a keylogger to spy on her. I found infidelity but not outright cheating. When I confronted her she said she knew I was spying so she baited me. We talked and I removed it, she said it wouldn't happen again ... but it did. So I reinstalled it ... same outcome right down to the claim of knowing. I removed it again for her but immediately put it back. Since then their exchanges have gotten worse, she related a dream to him that ended when he had his hand under her dress. She told me we still had a chance, she told him it was over between us. She invited him to our house for 10 days starting Dec 27th during the time I'm supposed to be gone, so he's flying in from Italy. I confronted her again and threatened divorce this morning. She still claims nothing was going to happen, it may well be true, I don't know anymore. This has been unbearable on both of us. I still love her and would take her back if she'd have me. So finally my dilemma, I'm thinking of forgiving her for everything and not making this dramatic, not involving courts and custody. Allowing her to follow her path in the hopes she will find happiness as an ultimate expression of my love for her. Am I a fool?
sedgwick Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 I stopped reading after "sometimes I hit." That's an all-bets-are-off situation. No way would I ever, ever go back to someone who hit me.
Author Auromali Posted December 13, 2007 Author Posted December 13, 2007 I should have said "I used to hit" ... but I know that doesn't make much difference.
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