Freddy Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 Those of you that are still friendly with you EX, are you going to give then a small Christmas present or card this year?
ElvenPriestess Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 Nope. Not I love. Never seemed like a good idea, the whole gift and ex thing. Mixed signals get misinterpreted.
blind_otter Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 Nope. Not I love. Never seemed like a good idea, the whole gift and ex thing. Mixed signals get misinterpreted. I agree. When I've gotten gifts from ex's of the past I've always been slightly creeped out.
ElvenPriestess Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 Yep, just remember the past is the past for a reason right?
KittenMoon Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 Last year my ex got a happy holidays email. I'm not even going to bother with that this year.
bustertypsy Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 If I was friendly and had no emotional feelings for the ex then sure,why not??? If I still held a flame for her,absolutely not!
serendip Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 My ex recently called me a 'sick man' and a 'liar' so I'm gonna send her a t-shirt that says 'serendip loves me' </joking> Don't bother getting the ex anything Last year I got the ex a diamond necklace...this year she gets absolutely nothing
frd150 Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 So what if your on good terms and you ocasionally see each other. What would be appropriate then? anything??
sedgwick Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 Nope! He needs to think about last year when I knitted him a hat and gloves and how he's not getting new ones this year because he sucks.
cant let go Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 i'm actually planning on sending a card to him and one to his family. I always look at christmas as a time to remember the people who were an important part of your life over the last year. even though we are broken up now, for the majority of this year he and his family were a HUGE part of my life. I wont be buying gifts for him but I was thinking of sending a gift card to a restaurant to his parents. I think it is appropriate given my situation. I didn't do something wrong to end the relationship and he didn't either. He just decided that I wasn't "the one" for him. I really miss his family. I can't really imagine that he would find it too strange considering that he is still friends with his ex before me and her sisters. And she was the one that broke up with him.
brothermartin Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 If I was friendly and had no emotional feelings for the ex then sure,why not??? If I still held a flame for her,absolutely not! I think I may still hold that damn flame, a little. But giving a full-on present? No, I won't.
brothermartin Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 Nope! He needs to think about last year when I knitted him a hat and gloves and how he's not getting new ones this year because he sucks. Welcome to the anger stage baby! Please check your baggage at door and any carry-on items you might wish to declare.
Surfer Girl Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 We are on somewhat friendly terms... I will send him a card this year... Nothing mushy or emotional... The connection we have now is in a different way...
Art_Critic Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 No.. and Why would anyone ? It would have a purpose.. and that would be to invoke a reaction... The proper thing to to is nothing...
Author Freddy Posted December 13, 2007 Author Posted December 13, 2007 Has anyone that has been broken up for more than a year get present from there EX?
ElvenPriestess Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 No. I once got an offer to have sex, but no, no presents. lol.
femmdevil Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 AT THIS RECENT STAGE my ex and I are on good terms even though there's definately some resentment on both sides. I know he would help me out if he could with something if I asked. I think a card is better than a gift in your case (it's been a year). But, nothing mushy. Just more generic and simple, like "Hope you're doing well, have a great new year...say hi to the dog..."
ElvenPriestess Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 AT THIS RECENT STAGE my ex and I are on good terms even though there's definately some resentment on both sides. I know he would help me out if he could with something if I asked. I think a card is better than a gift in your case (it's been a year). But, nothing mushy. Just more generic and simple, like "Hope you're doing well, have a great new year...say hi to the dog..." That's a good point. If you feel you REALLY have to or REALLY want to, than a generic card is safer than anything else. I still don't think it's better than giving nothing, as that is always the safest bet with ex's.
blon_dee Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 Yeah im a bit confused about this one too... My ex (of only a week) asked last night if we could meet up tomorrow and exchange presents... we had both already bought them i guess... i was happy to take his back and get the $$ to spend on myself, but he said, "i really want to give you the present i bought you"... not sure if its good or a bad thing....
randuff Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 My ex and I broke up in April, her birthday was in July and I got her a book by Brandon Boyd she really wanted, a Coach wallet, and an iPod. For Christmas I am going to get her absofrickinlutely nothing....Not even a card, text or e-mail.
ElvenPriestess Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 Wow! That was one lucky girl randuff. But again the whole gifting thing is sometimes used as an excuse, by one person or the other, just to try and get a foot in the door once more. (not you randuff, I'm referring to anyone who questions the idea.) It's just too shady of grounds to try and tread onto.
flosslight Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 I won't this year because the break up is to recent. Next year? It depends. I assume we will be in contact because of the massive amounts of mutual friends we have. I would treat my ex like my other friends. If I'm getting friends I do not see that much a small gift because I can afford it or I'm making cookies for everyone, why not. I would not want to exclude my friend just because he was an ex. If we are actually close friends, then I would talk about it with him. It all really depends on the level of friendship. My advice it to try to evaluate what level of friendship you have and treat them like someone who is at the same level that you have not been with.
KenzieAbsolutely Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 i never understood the whole "you were once in my life, but now you're not, so here's your gift/phone call/random acknowledgment on a holiday" thing. to the person receiving it, it seems like a pretty desperate attempt to get their attention and revive communication that is usually unwanted. it can make the giver look pretty pathetic, no matter unselfish/friendly/cordial the giver feels and is trying be. it's a sweet thought, but one best left as a thought only, in my opinion. one year, i broke up with someone about a week before christmas. he still wanted to give me my gift, and i had one for him. his gift from me was a long-sleeve t-shirt i knew he really wanted (i hadn't bought continued shopping when i knew it was ending.) my gift from him was a negligee and a bottle of massage oil. i about died. now i've learned to thwart any attempts by exes to provide me anything after the fact, especially a year or more afterward, because then it's even more so like, let go. anything i need or want, i can get for myself, or so can the people presently in my life. if you're not giving a present to everyone you've ever met that served a purpose in your life, but no longer does, then why the ex? just a bad idea, and waste of money, and your heart.
frd150 Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 Ok but, What if you are on good terms with said ex? Wouldnt it be rude to not give even a small something? Do you just ignore christmas? And if you were to give something what would be appropriate?
KenzieAbsolutely Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 Ok but, What if you are on good terms with said ex? Wouldnt it be rude to not give even a small something? Do you just ignore christmas? And if you were to give something what would be appropriate? i think in that case, you say "merry christmas and happy new year" like you would to everyone you are on good terms with. no reason to ignore it, but no reason to go overboard either.
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