gullible Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 The weekend after Thanksgiving I finally had a conversation with my W about what I consider to be an EA with a man that she's know for years. She's been sending him emails and has met him (supposedly just for drinks) at least twice. I found out by spying on her email. She assured me over and over that he was just a friend and that she had done nothing wrong. Last Saturday was our anniversary. She has trouble remembering the date every year and a couple of weeks ago she asked me when it was. I didn't tell her and made the comment that she was probably one of the few women who couldn't remember when they were married. She said she would look it up. Saturday morning I presented her with a nice card and a gift and she said "Is our anniversary today? I've been intending to look it up but just never got around to it. I thought it was probably tomorrow." She then went out and bought me a gift which cost 3 times as much as I had spent on her. I think if I'd been sending secret emails and having secret meetings with another woman, and my wife found out about it and was upset and that I was trying to convince her that the OW was just a friend, I would be doing everything in my power to get her to believe me and I certainly wouldn't have forgotten our wedding anniversary. Am I being too sensitive and overreacting? Should I read something into the fact that she didn't care enough to find out when the anniversary was? Or should I just assume that she didn't think it was important to me and let it go? Or is it my fault because I didn't tell her the date when she asked me?
Bryanp Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 I think it is a pretty clear message. Your anniversary is not that important to her. From your previous posts it is hard to imagine that nothing happened when she met that man behind your back since she said she was afraid an affair would happen. I think she is treating your like dirt. You judge a person by their actions and not by their words. Her actions of sneaking behind your back to meet this guy against your wishes and forgetting your anniversay speaks volumes and you know it.
Confused9 Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 Gullible, sounds to me like she's have an A. I think you need to start preparing yourself for this. I really think you need to sit down and speak to her about this. It seems like she is being clouded by this affair and they are in the new stages and she is putting you LAST. You need to think if this is really what you want and deserve. She needs to come clean with you...but that may not happen immediately. I would start getting in to counseling and start working on you. I am SO sorry.
whichwayisup Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 She went out and bought you something 3x more expensive than what you gave her? Uhh, that's her guilt, and she is trying to ease her own guilt, not try to make you feel better, feel loved or secure. Her actions do not meet her words - If she says she loves you, her actions are the opposite of that. I am sorry for your pain and you don't deserve the crap she's trying to feed you.
quankanne Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 as one of those people who gets surprised by our wedding anniversary each year, I don't know if you should fault her so much for having a crappy memory, because she might place more emphasis on your birthday or holidays, that's a carry over from what her parents did. does it bug you because you see it through the filter of her EA, or is it something that's always bugged you?
ICallsEmAsISeesEm Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 Well I see it's status quo in your house. She's still acting like an ass and you're still allowing it. I seem to remember replying to one of your other threads a couple of weeks ago when Miss Sneaky was supposedly putting together a 'meeting' for you to meet her computer Romeo. Did that ever come to pass? I wouldn't have bought her SQUAT - unless it was a one-way bus trip 9 states away. Good luck to you, buddy.
Confused9 Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 I wouldn't have bought her SQUAT - unless it was a one-way bus trip 9 states away. Good luck to you, buddy. LOL! Now that's funny.
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