BlueDog9900 Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 I have posted a thread in 'OM/OW'... It's come down to the fact that I've fallen for a friend, and she for me. We've known each other the past 3 years, having met in a continuing-education class. I was attracted to her from the minute I saw her. A bunch of us from class would get together once a month to have drinks, dinner, go to a movie, etc. But SHE would hardly ever join the group -- only twice in three years. I would send her text messages every so often, saying, 'thinking of you' or 'smile'. I even sent a text from Michigan when I was out there on business travel and said, 'come stay with me'. She did not. In the past month, I discovered that she had been avoiding me because she's had these feelings for me the entire time!!! I in turn, disclosed to her that I've always been interested too, but figured she was not. At any rate...we've been seeing each other whenever we can, and two nights ago, crossed the physical line and shared a kiss. It was so sweet, so perfect...and now, we both want to see each other even more. I thought that I would try to work things out with my current partner, but in all honesty, that's not where I want to be or where I can see myself in 3, 5, 10 years. It used to be. But things have changed, we have changed. We both deserve to be happy. If I stay, it will not be what either of us envisioned when we first got together. How do I end it??????
Ronni_W Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 If I stay, it will not be what either of us envisioned when we first got together. How do I end it?????? Well, first, I'd try not to speak for what ANYone else envisioned...even if I do think I "know" (cos I really, really don't know) . Then I'd make the ending about me and my current partner, NOT the new person. However it's happened, you've come to realize that your current situation is no longer what you want. That's fair enough. Desires and preferences are, or at least *should* be, dynamic. Expect fall-out, though! 11 years is a long time, and your current is likely to feel angry, betrayed, et al. That's fair enough, too. Also, otherwise 'nice' people will feel compelled to share their opinion about what a jerk you are -- do your best to ignore them. There's nothing more futile than "fighting" for a relationship that isn't fully supporting your personal growth and happiness. I guess the thing is to be really clear and conscious about what is true for you in all of this, and deal with your stbx in a kind and empathetic way from that perspective.
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