pandagirl Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 I feel like I can weigh in on this topic, since I actually have herpes. That being said, I am probably the *last* person people would expect to have it. I'm 29 and only slept with two people. I am careful, selective, intelligent, successful, and sexually responsible. I personally got herpes not through intercourse, but through just being intimate with someone who didn't know they had it. I think in this particular case, he definitely was irresponsible in not telling you he had herpes. I'm sure fear was his overriding factor in not being truthful with you, but that's no excuse. But, *everyone* -- not just people with a STD -- should always insist on using a condom. I don't understand why people do not! I think if you really love him, and can regain trust in your relationship, you can work through this. But only if you want to. I personally would never have unprotected sex with someone, knowing that I have herpes. As an aside, I would encourage everyone to become educated about herpes, before jumping to conclusions and assumptions. Physically, on a scale of 1-10, having herpes registers at about a 1.5; I haven't had an outbreak in years. The most painful part is the social stigma, and what people may think of me. Just an FYI, if someone you might be interested in has herpes, I wouldn't blow them off. Though transmission is not 100% preventable, you can take precautions to where transmission is a very, very small possibility.
JCD Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 You should have told him that you had aids and forgot to mention it to him and see how he would respond.
Krytie TV Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 As an aside, I would encourage everyone to become educated about herpes, before jumping to conclusions and assumptions. Physically, on a scale of 1-10, having herpes registers at about a 1.5; I haven't had an outbreak in years. The most painful part is the social stigma, and what people may think of me. Just an FYI, if someone you might be interested in has herpes, I wouldn't blow them off. Though transmission is not 100% preventable, you can take precautions to where transmission is a very, very small possibility. Why? Is his behavior supposed to be forgiven because of these factors?
pandagirl Posted December 18, 2007 Posted December 18, 2007 of course it doesn't. It's no excuse, and I have no idea who this guy is or what type of person he is, but I can understand the fear of possibly facing rejection from someone you really care about because of a stupid disease. That fear is absolutely *no excuse* for not being truthful, but I guess having H, I sympathize. And even seeing the reaction to herpes on this board, makes me feel pretty horrible.
JCD Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Truth is he was being selfish by fearing rejection from her instead of not being selfish and caring for her health. That's inexcusable. Dump him, he doesn't respect you.
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