Jilly Bean Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 It's such a personal thing, really. All about your own anatomy, angles during sex, etc. I have some friends who will orgasm from doggy, and I can pretty much only orgasm from missionary or woman on top during intercourse. Oh, and spoons - lol. And anal. I think for a lot of women though, being on top is a great option. You can control the pace, the angle, and theres something about it so you can kinda grind yourself on him that seems to work. Plus, a lot of guys prefer other positions to orgasm in, so they wont mind you taking your time with this one. Just experiment, see what feels best to you, communicate to your partner.
Author ElvenPriestess Posted December 13, 2007 Author Posted December 13, 2007 Well everyone, here's news. I tried to talk to him about this subject, and you know what? He refuses to speak of it. Any questions or comments I had irritated him and he said to leave him alone. So, I guess the "communication" approach is out.
reboot Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 He refuses to speak of it. Any questions or comments I had irritated him and he said to leave him alone. So, I guess the "communication" approach is out.I wonder if he's considered that there are guys out there that will.....
nicki Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 Oh well, next time he wants sex, tell him "You said to leave you alone." Then walk away. He'll get it. Make him talk to you, get close to you first. Really, a few guys never get that verbal communication and closeness is like sex to most women. No (verbal) sex for you, no sex for him. As for orgasming, try telling him exactly what you like. For me, having my neck kissed triggers an intense orgasm. Oral will give me a "C" one. Intercourse gives me a "V" one, but I have to be on top. Like the other poster said, the "above the waist" triggers done during intercourse are mindblowing. If my boyfriend kisses my neck at that time, I will instantly have another one orgasm. And he knows it. And loves it. What do YOU like? Take some time to explore that. Touch yourself and remember what you like. Are you visual? Do you enjoy seeing things? Auditory? Like hearing him say sweet (or dirty) things in your ear? What kinds of things? Tactile? Do you like the feel of soft sheets? The feel of his skin? His arms around you? Don't feel selfish. Make YOUR pleasure number one. He'll love that he can make you feel good, so tell him what you want. Having an orgasm at the same time is easy. Just build yours slowly, and let him know when you are getting close. He should be able to speed things up on his end. From my experience, I'm better at slowing my down as necessary and then making it happen quickly when he is about ready to orgasm. That usually happens when I'm in control, on top. Oh, and just have fun. My boyfriend is very fussy about keeping his bed clean. He won't let me under the covers with street clothes on, so the other night I came to bed naked, except for my high heel boots. I asked him if he wanted me to take my boots off or live dangerously. (suffice it to say that I got to leave my boots on.I felt so naughty!) Sometimes it's the simple things!
Cobra_X30 Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 Ok, I think my statement came out wrong. It's not about being bad in bed, I simply meant that some guys are willing to do more or less than others to please a female. I have not brought this up since there's been no sex. Ummm... technically, if your not willing to go the extra step to please your partner... you are bad in bed. Well everyone, here's news. I tried to talk to him about this subject, and you know what? He refuses to speak of it. Any questions or comments I had irritated him and he said to leave him alone. So, I guess the "communication" approach is out. Often how you approach a subject determines how the person reacts. Don't give up... try a new approach! Personally, I find a non-critical approach works well... but it may take more care for those who are hypersensetive.
nicki Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 Yeah, I know what Cobra means. I don't think most guys like to have the "sex" talk because they think that they must suck in bed. After they feel great in bed, then they are usually excited to hear about anything else you want to do. It's probably against general opinion, but I don't talk about sex outside the bedroom. I know a lot of experts say to talk away from the bedroom, but I feel that makes sex too analytical. (Except if you need to talk about a big, long term issue like lack of sex. In that case, you initiate a talk to find out if something is wrong. Are things okay? It becomes a relationship talk.) Anyway, my method when I want my boyfriend to do something is to ask for it in the middle of a wild sex romp. Even if he's never done it before, I'll say "Oh, I love it when you kiss my neck. It will make me come!!!" Then, he'll think "Hmm, I don't remember doing that, but she must have loved it!" And then he'll do it. Or, I'll respond so positively if he even gets close to doing what I want him to do. Men's egos are fragile (as are ours). I would always think of making great sex better. I'd never let a guy think i wasn't happy with his skills, just that I want more of a great thing. That said, you need an enthusiastic passionate partner. That's not something you can teach. If a guy acts like he's bored or doesn't seem into pleasing you, then there's not much you can do except examine your relationship in general for the same problem.
Jilly Bean Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 Well everyone, here's news. I tried to talk to him about this subject, and you know what? He refuses to speak of it. Any questions or comments I had irritated him and he said to leave him alone. So, I guess the "communication" approach is out. Wow, really? What do you think of that? I mean, how does this make you feel? What it tells me is a few things. 1 - he is lacking in sexual skill and feels attacked by you bringing this up, so rather than improve this, he is deciding to make it YOUR problem. 2 - he is not interested in your pleasure, or in pleasing you. Is this the kind of man and relationship you want in your life? Might be time to reconsider things...
Author ElvenPriestess Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 Wow, really? What do you think of that? I mean, how does this make you feel? What it tells me is a few things. 1 - he is lacking in sexual skill and feels attacked by you bringing this up, so rather than improve this, he is deciding to make it YOUR problem. 2 - he is not interested in your pleasure, or in pleasing you. Is this the kind of man and relationship you want in your life? Might be time to reconsider things... I have thought about that. Get this, I started by asking if he's ever made a girl orgasm during intercourse and he said yes! So I asked how he was sure, says he doesn't know, I said so are you positive you made that happen? He said he's not sure, but then I changed the subject and told him I've never had that experience, and was just curious because "if you HAVE been able to then there's a higher chance I will too." That's when he said not to talk about sex or anything relating. It sucks, I mean most men are open to talking about sex. Sigh. Anyhoo, I really do appreciate everyone's insight on the matter. I wonder if the whole "not sure if she orgasmed" was her faking it? I don't believe in faking however.
Florida Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 I have thought about that. Get this, I started by asking if he's ever made a girl orgasm during intercourse and he said yes! So I asked how he was sure, says he doesn't know, I said so are you positive you made that happen? He said he's not sure, but then I changed the subject and told him I've never had that experience, and was just curious because "if you HAVE been able to then there's a higher chance I will too." That's when he said not to talk about sex or anything relating. It sucks, I mean most men are open to talking about sex. Sigh. Oh no Elven, you exposed him! Now he is not sure about that and probably down on himself that he can't figure out your , uh , high points either. Plus whatever happened between then replicated with you may not do squat for you. Just concentrate on the both of you. Use soft tones to gently suggest-in the moment-what you would like him to do. He won't refuse if you are gently encouraging.
Jilly Bean Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 I can only speak for myself, and I can tell you that when I orgasm, not only does my partner know it, but the whole neighborhood is also smoking a cigarette. I mean, I don't know how other women are when they climax, but I make it very obvious. Not to mention the fact that my guy will FEEL me cumming on him (his face, dick, whatever). So, if he is not sure, then I would think the answer is no. He sounds a little inexperienced, and of course, he is embarassed about this. I would probably not continue to talk about it, but I would talk him THROUGH it while you are in bed. Tell him what feels good - and keep encouraging him that way.
Author ElvenPriestess Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 I can only speak for myself, and I can tell you that when I orgasm, not only does my partner know it, but the whole neighborhood is also smoking a cigarette. I mean, I don't know how other women are when they climax, but I make it very obvious. Not to mention the fact that my guy will FEEL me cumming on him (his face, dick, whatever). So, if he is not sure, then I would think the answer is no. He sounds a little inexperienced, and of course, he is embarassed about this. I would probably not continue to talk about it, but I would talk him THROUGH it while you are in bed. Tell him what feels good - and keep encouraging him that way. Well I can't really talk to him that's why I love LS. But you're first paragraph has me cracking up. I know, whenever I orgasm during oral, there's no WAY for it to be missed. So with me there's no "I'm not sure." It's more like "Darn straight."
Jilly Bean Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Well, I can tell you if you clear during oral, then during intercourse there is no way hed be missing it. Unless, of course, your vag is built like a sewer tunnel, which I am sure is NOT the case. He will feel you contracting on him. He'd know... I really think you will have to guide him through it while you guys are having sex. Tell him to slow down, speed up, harder, whatever. I think hell appreciate it...
Author ElvenPriestess Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 Ah, thank you JB. I KNEW there was a way to know for sure.
Jilly Bean Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Girl, use him like a dildo until he gets it right himself. Until then, it sounds like its going to be up to you to make the magic happen. And I have full faith...
topsekkrets Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 I actually have a solution you might like, Usually males are worked up and frustrated they might do something wrong, The timing might just be your problem. The more you totally relax him, the longer the session lasts. If your very comfortable with him and he's comfortable with you, Then your all set.
Author ElvenPriestess Posted December 15, 2007 Author Posted December 15, 2007 That makes a lot of sense, I guess people have to "calm down, relax, and let it happen" to really connect.
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