kitkat289 Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 This is for all those who know (not only think) that their ex still loves them and wants them,who think its worth waiting and working on yourself.Dont think that this could work with everybody as for some people the only right thing to do is to MOVE ON(those cases where your ex is not worth it and the relationship cannot work) and for some the second chance is worth it.It solely depends on the reason of their break-up and your own feelings about it all. I've found a guy here on LS who has done it all that takes to work on yourself and be a better,strong,attractive person.He's taken things slow with his ex and though its still taking a lot of patience to control his clinginess,insecurities, he is at it.The results have been wonderful so far and I just couldnt resist going through all his posts as they are filled with so much positiveness that is soo rare on LS. You must go through ALL of his posts if you really want to know the mantra. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t52900/ In short the only thing works when you are friends with the ex is CONTROL-you have to stop 'initiating' contacts in any form,shape and mostly attend your ex's calls but not be TOO AVAILABLE. THE NEED OF APPROVAL-we ask them if they missed us during NC or during this and that time,we ask them if they think we still have a chance in future,if they are seeing anyone or asking them to meet.Many of us are just still hanging with them bc our ex see a second chance but they tell us they are very unsure.So the right thing to do in such situation is to treat them just like a good friend,not show any anxiety,too much interest.Sometimes after many weeks of doing this we begini to think that now we should do something sweet but trust me that just makes us feel like we are back to square one when we dont see the expected response even after such a long time.So never expect even when you feel its the right time.Let their actions tell you instead of you asking for any hints and moreover, you shouldnt analyse 'their actions' when its time to check yours and see how well you are doing. I cannot type everything that I learnt last night.It took me 4-5hours but every second I learnt more and more.It was just like watching a movie and getting into that character yourself and getting to know that THIS IS THE ATTITUDE I NEED for my life,for myself (& not for the ex really) Go through Universe' all threads/posts for better info.
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