Cannondale Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 Just about a week ago I broke up with my gf of 3.5mo. I know doesn't sound very long, but I was deff. in love with her. I've had quite a few gf's before her, enough to know the difference between like and love. But anyways we broke up bec. we had been fighting so much, why I really don't know, we just got to a point where we couldn't even talk to each-other w/o fighting or arguing. But I'm out of it now, and honestly I do feel a bit relieved as she had very unreasonable expectations of me(expected me to spend every waking and sleeping sec. of my free time with her, and if I didn't I wasn't making her my "priority" in her words). But I found out that she was most likely shopping around before we broke up and she is now from the looks of it starting a new relationship already. I guess I'm just more pissed off than anything, that a girl who said she loved me can hop to another guy already and lie to me about it, but I do miss her at times. I've been going to the gym a lot which helps and hanging out with my friends again which has been a huge help. I mean I know she would have only held me down and tried to control me more if I stayed in it, but any tips on how to get over this anger issue?
getonwithlife Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 (expected me to spend every waking and sleeping sec. of my free time with her, and if I didn't I wasn't making her my "priority" in her words). Cannondale, Perhaps she had some self confidence problems. Sounds as if you attempted to be reasonable with time spent with her which, clearly wasn't enough. Don't beat yourself up over this one. No one with a pair should allow themselves to be manipulated in a relationship - You didn't. As for your anger, well it is certainly easier to deal with than despair. Keep channeling this feeling in to positive activities. And realize that she has a problem, one that eventually you may feel sorrow for........
ElvenPriestess Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 The only cure is time. I know that sounds rough, but it's true. Now to ease the symptoms you've got a great start. Keep spending time with friends. Occupy your mind, and whatever you do DO NOT DWELL. You also, dare I say it, have to forgive her for moving on so quickly. Otherwise you will continue to harbor this anger. Just realize that even if you did love her, she obviously wasn't the one, and didn't take you as seriously. And the reason she hopped to the next guy, I would guess, is she's a rebound kind of girl. Or she just doesn't know how to live with herself without a guy in her life. Fighting all the time brings nothing but misery. Believe me, I've been there. Just keep doing what you've been doing, forgive if you can, allow yourself time to heal, and realize that there is a hot smokin' Ferrari out there for you somewhere, and be thankful you let the clapped out VW go to wait for it;)
Author Cannondale Posted December 12, 2007 Author Posted December 12, 2007 Well just found out she is having issues with the new guy, lol. I don't mean to be bitter, but she did treat me like crap towards the end of the relationship, people around us even agreed that she did. So I feel like she is getting what she deserves. But yeah I do think she is using him as a rebound and she is very insecure and prob. needs a guy in her life 24/7.
someone3434 Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 Honestly. Move on. You'll hear this all over the board. I didn't believe it when I read it until I realized it. You don't deserve to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you. Granted, if you treated them like **** or cheated on them....that's on you. But if you honestly tried to love them to the best of your ability and it "wasn't good enough", why would you want to be with someone like that? ANd this is coming from someone who tried twice. Trust me. Go find someone that deserves you.
Author Cannondale Posted December 12, 2007 Author Posted December 12, 2007 ^ I agree. I don't want her back in the least. I'm just pissed I let her fool me I guess, thats what I'm having trouble getting over. But it's getting better everyday...
someone3434 Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 No need to be pissed at yourself. You actually care about people and their feelings. I'm learning that some people only care about themselves. Seriously, there are people out there who feel like you do...you'll find one of them and be happier than you have ever been. I'm in the same situation. The last two guys my ex has "dated" have been completely trashed by her to her friends, who happen to be my friends. I hear everything. If you did your best don't sweat it. **** her. She doesn't deserve you. Trust me.
Author Cannondale Posted December 12, 2007 Author Posted December 12, 2007 ^Thanks man for the advice, it deff. helps!. I'll get past this anger bs here soon enough I'm sure...
D-Lish Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 I think you have a right to be angry if she was being nasty and demanding and then moved on to another bf so quickly. Someone that needs you to spend every waking moment with them is def insecure and needy. She would have sucked the energy out of you had you remained with her. You can't be expected to have feelings for someone and then shut them off on demand. Her neediness is now another guys problem. She was making you unhappy, and you made the right choice. The anger will go away.
Author Cannondale Posted December 12, 2007 Author Posted December 12, 2007 ^Thanks for the advice....it helps!
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