frustratedsigh Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 My ex ended things last February (we're both in our early 30s). We were never serious and only dated for about a year. Since then, he has contacted me about once a month, usually by e-mail, to see how I'm doing. I was always cordial but didn't ask anything in return so that the conversation would stop. A few months ago, he stepped it up. He became very flirty and was e-mailing me multiple times a day--he even tried to see me. I refused and later found out he's living with the girl he started seeing right after me. I was hurt considering how he always told me he wasn't ready for anything serious. I called him up...long story short, I told him he was a jerk and that I was disappointed with who he turned out to be. He told me how great I am and how he really wants us to stay in touch and how he wishes I'd accepted him for who he was, whatever that means. He asked me to call him soon, and I said no. Figured that would be the last of it...but no. Over a month later (a couple of weeks ago now), he texted me to wish my football team good luck. Next weekend, same thing. I'm so frustrated!!! It has been almost a year since he dumped me. I haven't been the one to initiate contact once--it's always him. He has a serious girlfriend! He's LIVING with her! And even after I called him an a-hole, he STILL contacts me! Is this an ego boost? Is he just toying with me to get attention? Or maybe to keep me as a back-up girl? Clearly he wasn't that into me since we were never serious but now he's actually living with someone. When he pops up, it reminds me that I wasn't good enough for a relationship but other women are--it makes me feel bad about myself. So frustrated. Next time he writes me, I want to flat-out tell him to never contact me again. Is that what I need to do? Ignoring him might be more powerful, but I don't know that I'm that strong...and I'm not sure that would stop him anyway.
tinke Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 i do not feel that ignoring his contacts is powerful...it appears indifferent. quite honestly, i feel it is passive to allow them if you clearly do not want to receive them. why not tell him straight out not to contact you anymore (and reasons), if he persists, there are further steps to take....block phone number, delete IM, etc. if you are truly serious. it would be kind to at least state your reasons for no contact, so as to not leave the door open for further discussions/questions. take care
BlueEyedSarah Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 frustratedsigh, Obviously the new girlfriend he has himself tied up with is not giving himt he attention he craves so he is going back to you, making sure you keeping the door open for him, playing around with you. Ignore he's emails, calls and anything to do with him, he has moved on and so should you.
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