Silent Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Hello, I have the best girl in the world as my girlfriend, she's cute, adorable, loyal, dedicated and anything a man could ask for a girl. Unfortunately, as I tell her, I am a weirdo, a man that has serious issues formed by my way of being raised, I come from somewhere where women are raised to serve for men. In the relationship matters, basically, if you're with a girl that has had previous sexual acts before you, then she's not worthy, her purity was taken away by somebody else and she is now pretty much a girl for having fun but not for a serious relationship. Since I am in America, I found myself not to have any serious relationship because it would just eventually hurt me since almost all girls 18-20 have had sexual encounters already. However, as lonely as I am, this girl came to my world and now makes me feel like I am not alone in this world. Until one day I read something about her and her previous relationships, not much, just a survey in which she stated that she actually had a "sexual relationship" before. By then, I decided to break up with her because I knew I could not handle it, not even with all the deep feelings I felt for her. With tears she told me she never had sex before but her ex "fingered" her, which was almost the same as having sex for me and my "conservative" standards. Finally, she convinced me that her love for me could beat anything, even the deep pain caused by the acknowledgment of her "sexual" past, we went through it and I decided to "get over it". We live far apart from each other, and we spend more time thinking and missing each other than being together. Sometimes when I think of her, I can't avoid imagining how was it like with "him", his ex. She's like me too, she feels bothered by the thought of me having 2 ex's but not as much as me. I decided I will love and stay with her forever, but I am aware it will be a hard task if I don't grow up in this ambit of life, I know the way I was raised concerning women was wrong but it still influences my thoughts. I need help "getting over it", I don't want the thought of breaking up with her to cross my mind again just because of her non-pure past, I love her.
Lovegod Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Do yourself a favor and get a woman from your home country. Most American women have been badly corroded.
Tripper Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 I have the best girl in the world as my girlfriend, she's cute, adorable, loyal, dedicated and anything a man could ask for a girl. Admirable qualities, don't you think?? And don't you think these are more important in a partner for life than the minor sexual history she has?? I come from somewhere where women are raised to serve for men. In the relationship matters, basically, if you're with a girl that has had previous sexual acts before you, then she's not worthy, her purity was taken away by somebody else and she is now pretty much a girl for having fun but not for a serious relationship. With tears she told me she never had sex before but her ex "fingered" her, which was almost the same as having sex for me and my "conservative" standards. She's like me too, she feels bothered by the thought of me having 2 ex's but not as much as me. Ok, now here's a problem. You've got 2 ex's (I'm assuming you've had sex with them) and your fine with that, but your gf didn't even have intercourse and it's wrong. This is known as a double standard. Also, unless your country is populated by many more women, the number of partners had by men and women are pretty much the same, unless some women are very sexually active with a lot of partners. I need help "getting over it", I don't want the thought of breaking up with her to cross my mind again just because of her non-pure past, I love her. This isn't a case of getting over it. It's a case of the moral values that have been instilled in you since you were a child. Western culture has changed it's views in the last 40 years regarding womens sexuality. Not all agree but that's the way it is. Personally I think if all she's done is being fingered, by today's standards you've got a rare jewel. Take care of her...
Author Silent Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 Thank you for the advice to all of you. @Tripper: Well, I didn't have sex with anyone before her, I considered myself somewhat "pure", so it's not double standard. The advice it's been very well received, though I can't seem to stop thinking about it every once in a while, specially when there are factors that drive me to the though of her ex. @Lovegod: That's what I don't want, I want to stay with her but I need to overcome this issue of mine.
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