Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Im Just Wondering Why Do X's Come Back When Your Doing Good Without Them??? Do They Always Comeback Or Does It Depend On The Kind Of Relationship You Had With Them And In The Terms You Ended The Relationship With??
KittenMoon Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Well, mine hasn't come back, so I guess they DON'T always come back. But I have to admit, I feel like the only person i know who's come out of a longterm "omg THEY broke up" kinda relationship where there hasn't been at least a brief reconciliation. Not sure if that's good, or frustrating.
BlueEyedSarah Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Da_1_n_OnlyN3na, Sometimes they do, sometimes they dont, like you said I think it depends on the relationship you both had and how long the relationship lasted - Question is, would you want them back in your life IF they came back?
Author Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted December 14, 2007 Author Posted December 14, 2007 well if i really loved that person and the love is stil there when he comes back yes i would take him back without even thinking abotu it lol...what are some of the signs that they are comming back?? would there be mixed signals?....
CaliGuy Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 No, they don't always come back. But that ones that do almost always do when they find out you're living life well -- without them. So live your life to the fullest and don't worry about what the future holds. Either way you are going to be fine. Either the ex comes back or better yet, you meet someone new and wonder what the heck you ever saw in your ex in the first place.
Trialbyfire Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 Historically, I've noticed that most of them, not all of them, come back. Who knows what's truly going through their heads and realistically speaking, does it matter? If you want them back, take them back, but if issues haven't been addressed, it will be an exercise in futility.
Star Gazer Posted December 14, 2007 Posted December 14, 2007 No, they don't always come back. But that ones that do almost always do when they find out you're living life well -- without them. So live your life to the fullest and don't worry about what the future holds. Either way you are going to be fine. Either the ex comes back or better yet, you meet someone new and wonder what the heck you ever saw in your ex in the first place. Truer words have never been spoken.
Tyra Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 Some X's do come back. Some of them, never realize what they had until it was gone. But sometimes they come back because, like you said, the way the two has ended the relationship.
Author Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted December 15, 2007 Author Posted December 15, 2007 thanx for all the replies.. it means alot to me... Some X's do come back. Some of them, never realize what they had until it was gone. But sometimes they come back because, like you said, the way the two has ended the relationship. i mean i feel like me and him still have some things we need to fix about us..like he sometimes goes over the top and cusses at me for no reason sometimes and calling me stupid...and this is especally when he smokes alot...his attitude changes....i have serious jealousy problems and i get mad for no reason sometimes and i could be a bitch to him...i dont always trust him 100%.....thats the reason we took a break...but now i dont even know if were still on the break because he started calling me again and we were toguether last weekend but i felt used and i let him know and told him that if it was going to be like that(sex buddies/friends with benefits) to not talk to me..but he ended up calling me days after, our 3 week break was supposed to be due in 2-3 days...so i guess theres is an "us" there still...but just not right now...not until we both heal...i just have to work on myself and find what i want..have fun and live life not waiting for anything to happen...i guess we always have to go by that saying lol "if its meant to be we will end up toguether...."
Curmudgeon Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 ...mine left and never tried to come back. Even if I was still single, if she wanted to come back I wouldn't let her. Once was more than enough and I try hard not to repeat past mistakes. I'm sure that through our children she knows that I am doing astronomically better now than I ever did with her but I attribute some of that to the fact that she's no longer in my life. Meanwhile, she has nothing. If she wanted to return it would only be because of what I can provide. Not a good enough reason in my book.
nittygritty Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 thanx for all the replies.. it means alot to me... i mean i feel like me and him still have some things we need to fix about us..like he sometimes goes over the top and cusses at me for no reason sometimes and calling me stupid...and this is especally when he smokes alot...his attitude changes....i have serious jealousy problems and i get mad for no reason sometimes and i could be a bitch to him...i dont always trust him 100%.....thats the reason we took a break...but now i dont even know if were still on the break because he started calling me again and we were toguether last weekend but i felt used and i let him know and told him that if it was going to be like that(sex buddies/friends with benefits) to not talk to me..but he ended up calling me days after, our 3 week break was supposed to be due in 2-3 days...so i guess theres is an "us" there still...but just not right now...not until we both heal...i just have to work on myself and find what i want..have fun and live life not waiting for anything to happen...i guess we always have to go by that saying lol "if its meant to be we will end up toguether...." Its good that you realize that this wasn't a healthy relationship. However, its not very likely that the dynamics of the relationship will ever change. When someone is prone to name calling and cussing you out when they are angry, time outs for healing don't cure that kind of problem. This is what the cycle of abuse is and if anything it will escalate each time you go back to the relationship. If you really think you have a problem with unprovoked jealousy than you should work on that issue. Perhaps even get individual counseling to find out why your getting jealous. But blaming yourself for his problems of treating you cruely makes it sound like you think you deserved to have him call you stupid and cuss at you. Thats not true nor healthy. You should be asking yourself why would you want someone who treated you this way to come back?
Author Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted December 17, 2007 Author Posted December 17, 2007 my jealousy mostly started when he cheated on me...we broke up but got back the same day...sometimes i thought that maybe it was never a good idea taking him back afterwards because the trust wasnt there anymore...he always would try to tell me everything but i never believed him...so he stopped trying and thats when i started making up stories in my head thinking he was with another girl and i would believe it and that would make myself even more mad... one day i was mad for some stupid shyt and there were some pennies in the car and he threw them out and i yelled at him.."why the **** are you throwing the pennies for???" and i slapped him on his mouth...yeah.. his eyes were wet so i think he was crying because i could hear him sniffing when i was listening to his ipod....he was asking me why i was so mean to him.. and i would just say "because you deserve that and more because of what you did to me".....i cheated on him too one day, months after he did but i had only kissed the guy and he didnt trust me as much either afterwards... you might be saying "and you guys still stayed toguether??" yeah i know..lol i used to be very bitchy to him...and i would boss him around and he told me that he felt like he was my bitch..so he started acting the same way towards me... i did crazy things because of my stupid jealousy....i created a fake pregnancy test and sent it to the house of the biitch my bf had cheated on me with...lol...i think back and i guess most of the problems me and my boyfriend had were because of me...but they were started by him...so we both have a fault in this...i really do think i need some counceling but these past 3 weeks that me and him have been apart, have helped me think and clear my head..i wasted so much time on nothing..he got tired of me always saying "im going to chance i promise"...but never actually attempted a change..and now look where it got me..
Recommended Posts