AugustLane Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Hi all, first post so here goes. I've been dating a guy for a month (I've know him for a lot longer). The first time we had sex the condom slipped of when he was pulling out and leaked all over the bed. I am not on bc. Now my period is about 5 days late. I took a test yesterday and it came back negative, but I'm still freaked out and plan to retest on Saturday if I still haven't started. Should I tell this guy what is going on or keep it to myself? Please no lectures- I'm old enough to deal with this if it happens (30) but not sure the procedure on this one.
Trialbyfire Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 If your test came back negative, why tell him? Why not wait and take another test, then, if it comes back positive, the two of you have something real to discuss?
amaysngrace Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Yeah tell him because you shouldn't be the only one stressing about this now. He should too. Also stress can delay your period so if you alleviate some of your stress by burdening him with it too it just may make your period come. Plus if he is stressed it may make him use the condom right next time.
Lovegod Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 The test should have shown something if you're five days late. Sex does funny things to your body and it will cause your period to be late especially if you havent :bunny:ed for a while. You're probably not pregnant.
Author AugustLane Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 Well it hadn't been that long since I last . Maybe 1 1/2 - 2 months. I assumed it should have shown something by now too, but I'm like clockwork, so hence my concern. Part of me does want to tell him so I'm not the only one stressing here. I tell you what. When this blows over I'm going on the pill!
Lauriebell82 Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Well it hadn't been that long since I last . Maybe 1 1/2 - 2 months. I assumed it should have shown something by now too, but I'm like clockwork, so hence my concern. Part of me does want to tell him so I'm not the only one stressing here. I tell you what. When this blows over I'm going on the pill! That's a good attitude. If the test came back negative you probably aren't pregant. It probably is due to stress. You should try to stay calm about the whole thing, retest on Saturday, then see if there is anything to be concerned about. I don't think you should really worry him over nothing.
Author AugustLane Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 I don't think you should really worry him over nothing. But I should have to sit and worry myself over nothing? I mean it is his fault for not having a good handle on the thing before pulling it out! Ok, that was mean, but I couldn't resist.
blind_otter Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 I wouldn't tell him until you get a positive pregnancy test. Unfortunately it's a woman's burden to worry over reproductive issues because we are the ones who actually have to suffer through them. I'm pregnant right now, and it's funny because my SO knew I was pregnant before I did. He kept telling me that I was and I kept saying "You're ridiculous." So I finally went and got a test about 2 days after my period was supposed to be due and I found out I was pregnant. If you waited 5 days and tested and it came back negative you are most likely not pregnant, but re-test to make sure and if you still don't get your period, see an OB-GYN to rule out any other serious issues.
Lauriebell82 Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 But I should have to sit and worry myself over nothing? I mean it is his fault for not having a good handle on the thing before pulling it out! Ok, that was mean, but I couldn't resist. Well, no that's not what I meant. You can talk to him if you want, but I would wait until you take another test to fill him in on this, unless you think he would understand about the situation. You are the only one who knows him. Would he flip out if you told him? Would it bring you BOTH more stress? All I'm saying is that telling him may cause you even more stress than you think, and that def. won't help bring your period back. After only a month of dating, he probably won't be too happy about even the possibility that you might be pregnant.
spookie Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Unforunately if you tell him something like this so early on in the relationship, he is likely going to freak out and his budding positive feelings for you will be nipped and replaced with overwhleming fear. So, unless you know for certain, and you wnat this to go somewhere, I woudln't say anything. If you got a negative and it's been 5 days, you're probably not pregnant. But, make sure you're reading it right, in that there is NO pregnant line at all. Sometimes early on it is very faint, barley visible at all, but that still means you are. Stress can really throw off your cycle. I'm betting that's what's happening.
Author AugustLane Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 Thanks for the replys so far. To be honest, I'm not sure how late I am. All I know is that last month I started on the 9th. Usually I start a few days earlier every month (date-wise). I can usually judge off my best friend's cycle because I always start in the middle of her's- and her's has come and gone. I really didn't realize I was late untill I looked at the date and said, hmm, I think I should have started by now. I'm not sure what he would say. I think it is pretty screwed up that we had a conversation about this on our first date though. He said when he was young he got a girl pregnant and she had an abortion and he was glad then, but if it were to happen to him at this point in his life he would be really excited because he wants to be a dad. I know this stress can only delay it more- but I can't help it.
amaysngrace Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Oh no then don't tell him if he wants a kid. Definitely don't. You may need to do something later on that you'd rather he not know. Don't get him involved. Use this as the female privilege that it is.
Author AugustLane Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 Oh, I wouldn't get rid of it if it happened. I'm pro-choice, but I couldn't live with it if I did it.
MissCourtney Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 When women believe that they could be pregnant, your period will be delayed due to your brain thinking that way. Women can even become mentally pregnant, which is called pseudocyesis, due to getting so worked up about "maybe" being pregnant. Just re-test and try not to stress. And as for your partner. I would just tell him that your period is late. He should know. Don't say, "I'm pregnant." Say "My period is late." He has a right to know. -c
BlueEyedSarah Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 AugustLane, I worried I was pregnant and it delayed my period for 2 weeks! It was awful, I know what its like to worry if your pregnant - I think a womans body is very sensative to our emotions because any sign of stress/worry ect delays our period. My last period was in the beginning of October, I don't have a boyfriend and have not slept with a guy before October so there is no chance I'm pregnant I have been been worrying, stressing, losing weight and having health problems recently which I read may delay your period - So many things can delay our period its amazing! Have you had signs of your period about to start?
Author AugustLane Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 Well I thought it was coming because I got a few zits and I've been eating more- which always happens before my period. Now the excessive eating has stopped, but my face is still breaking out. I usually spot a couple of days before I start- and I haven't yet. I got this weird cramp in my stomach last night that woke me up in the middle of the night- so I thought for sure I would have stated in the morning. But alas. I have been sweating more than usual, but that could mean it's time for some new deoderant . But other than that- nothing.
BlueEyedSarah Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Lets hope it is needing new deodrant and not Hot Flushes
roxy_1980 Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 I agree that you're probably not pregnant...for the last few weeks you've had that image of it slipping off and it's being driving your body bonkers. But considering you don't know your cycles and what not, maybe you should start thinking about those things. Condoms are a secondary line of defense...there's a reason they don't make birth control for men! Yes, I know you're 30, but you seem to have made it this far without getting pregnant by LUCK, rather than skill.
amaysngrace Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Yes, I know you're 30, but you seem to have made it this far without getting pregnant by LUCK, rather than skill. Nice.
spookie Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Well I thought it was coming because I got a few zits and I've been eating more- which always happens before my period. Now the excessive eating has stopped, but my face is still breaking out. I usually spot a couple of days before I start- and I haven't yet. I got this weird cramp in my stomach last night that woke me up in the middle of the night- so I thought for sure I would have stated in the morning. But alas. I have been sweating more than usual, but that could mean it's time for some new deoderant . But other than that- nothing. If you're breaking out all over, you're probably not. Nothing beats pregnancy for your skin.
blind_otter Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 If you're breaking out all over, you're probably not. Nothing beats pregnancy for your skin. I have to disagree. I'm in my first trimester and I'm broken out as I was when I was a teenager. I have a huge pulsating zit right in the middle of my left cheek. Yuck.
spookie Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 I have to disagree. I'm in my first trimester and I'm broken out as I was when I was a teenager. I have a huge pulsating zit right in the middle of my left cheek. Yuck. Interesting. When I was briefly pregnant my skin, especially on my face, was the clearest and smoothest it's ever been. Congrats on the pregnancy btw!
Trialbyfire Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 I wouldn't tell him until you get a positive pregnancy test. Unfortunately it's a woman's burden to worry over reproductive issues because we are the ones who actually have to suffer through them. I'm pregnant right now, and it's funny because my SO knew I was pregnant before I did. He kept telling me that I was and I kept saying "You're ridiculous." So I finally went and got a test about 2 days after my period was supposed to be due and I found out I was pregnant. If you waited 5 days and tested and it came back negative you are most likely not pregnant, but re-test to make sure and if you still don't get your period, see an OB-GYN to rule out any other serious issues. This I completely agree with. Why stress your relationship over more than likely a non-issue? If you're that concerned about getting pregnant, you don't indulge in pre-marital sex. Once you take the step towards having sex, you take your share of the responsibility by ensuring that not only does he use a condom but you also have some form of birth control, such as the pill, patch, etc. Nothing is guaranteed though. The only real guarantee is abstinence which I don't believe is realistic for most adults. Each person has to make their own choices in life but each person also has to be willing to accept the responsibilities associated to it.
Author AugustLane Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 I actually wasn't freaked out at all untill Sunday. I actually hadn't thought much of it because I know exactly when I ovulate and when the 'slip up/ off' occured I was a good 8-9 days away from ovulation. The condom leaked all over the bed but it was in me for about 5 minutes just leaking before we noticed it was gone when he got up to go to the bathroom to take it off. I keep going to the bathroom to check for any signs of my friend. Maybe it's just new relationship stress? You know how when you get worried that you might be in a delicate way you start doing too much research online looking at everything that could be a possible indicator? Well-TMI coming- I have gas, zits, & nausea in the am- which are all easily explained away- gas- I was eating more- zits- I am supposed to start- nausea- I drink coffee on an empty stomach. The internet is cool- but can really stress a person out!
Author AugustLane Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 I never stated or implied that I wasn't willing to take full responsibility if it happens. All I really wanted to know is if this is something I need to let him know about. The reason I am not on the pill is because I don't want to screw up my reproductive system for when the time is right. In my family there have been many reproductive troubles and I don't want to put a hormone into my body that could adversly effect it in any way. I warned this guy before hand that I wasn't on the pill, so he knew what he was getting into.
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