nkwbm Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 i am newly separated from my husband and have fallen for a married man, something i never thought possible. he has told me he is attracted to me, likes me "a lot" and makes excuses to see me. we have become intimate about a month ago, and the other day he said "i enjoy being with you so much it frightens me." my friends think this means he is really falling for me, but i am unsure and wonder what others think...could this statement mean that?!
Leia Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Could it be that he said that just so that he can have more sex with you?
Author nkwbm Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 unlikely as i have stopped sex for while
Trimmer Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 unlikely as i have stopped sex for while ............... just out of curiosity, why? Anyway, just because you've stopped sex for now doesn't mean he isn't thinking of it (I guarantee you he is), and trying to set you up for more, and to accelerate the time when you both know that is going to happen again by sweet-talking you... Alternately, going outside his marriage for sex may actually frighten him, so a literal reading of his statement (without trying to infer a hidden meaning) is pretty reasonable, too.
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 he said 1. "i enjoy being with you so much 2. it frightens me." 1. He enjoys being with you 2. But, he is weighing the risks and benefits right now and hasn't decided on what he is willing to risk in order to get those benefits. The more sex you withhold, one of two things will happen: he will either decide the risk of an affair with no sex isn't worth it (if he knows you will NEVER have sex with him and he can't convince you to as long as he is married), or he will decide to do what is necessary to leave and be with you legitimately so that he can have those benefits. Usually in most relationships "I'm scared" means "I'm still thinking things over". Just curious, how far after you stopped the sex did he say this - or was it before?
Frances Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 i am newly separated from my husband and have fallen for a married man, something i never thought possible. he has told me he is attracted to me, likes me "a lot" and makes excuses to see me. we have become intimate about a month ago, and the other day he said "i enjoy being with you so much it frightens me." my friends think this means he is really falling for me, but i am unsure and wonder what others think...could this statement mean that?! It depends on if he is a serial cheater or not. If he is not then he is thinking of his marriage. Do you have any feelings regarding the fact that you are enabling him to cheat on his wife? just wondering.
GreenEyedLady Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 i am newly separated from my husband and have fallen for a married man, something i never thought possible. he has told me he is attracted to me, likes me "a lot" and makes excuses to see me. we have become intimate about a month ago, and the other day he said "i enjoy being with you so much it frightens me." my friends think this means he is really falling for me, but i am unsure and wonder what others think...could this statement mean that?! Be careful...It's new and he wants to keep you available to him...Now that you're newly separated, he doesn't want to lose what he has to another man... How do you feel about all this?
Tomcat33 Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Yup from the outside I think that statement totally means that. What it actually means you will know from his actions, question is do you want to stick around to find out what it actually means?
Meaplus3 Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 i am newly separated from my husband and have fallen for a married man, something i never thought possible. he has told me he is attracted to me, likes me "a lot" and makes excuses to see me. we have become intimate about a month ago, and the other day he said "i enjoy being with you so much it frightens me." my friends think this means he is really falling for me, but i am unsure and wonder what others think...could this statement mean that?! What's to translate here? You just came out of a marriage which I'm sure was not a pleasant event and now you have hooked up with a mm. IMO your headed for hurt. I would Run like H**** if I were you! He's a married man and I'm sure he loves his wife. You would be qa side dish and that's about it! AP:)
NoIDidn't Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 1. He enjoys being with you 2. But, he is weighing the risks and benefits right now and hasn't decided on what he is willing to risk in order to get those benefits. The more sex you withhold, one of two things will happen: he will either decide the risk of an affair with no sex isn't worth it (if he knows you will NEVER have sex with him and he can't convince you to as long as he is married), or he will decide to do what is necessary to leave and be with you legitimately so that he can have those benefits. Usually in most relationships "I'm scared" means "I'm still thinking things over". Just curious, how far after you stopped the sex did he say this - or was it before? What LB said! I was going to say this but not so eloquently.
White Flower Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 i am newly separated from my husband and have fallen for a married man, something i never thought possible. he has told me he is attracted to me, likes me "a lot" and makes excuses to see me. we have become intimate about a month ago, and the other day he said "i enjoy being with you so much it frightens me." my friends think this means he is really falling for me, but i am unsure and wonder what others think...could this statement mean that?! Honey, you are as free as a bird. Take my advice and fly: find someone else who is free and let your happiness soar! If you stay with MM, it will only lead to a rollercoaster ride only the highs are hard to come down from and the lows are unbearable. Good luck and end it fast!
Gwyneth Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 I do not understand why some people translate nice things guy says into "he just wants sex." I hear this all the time and it absolutely drives me nuts! All men want sex--and all women want sex. We are human sex maniacs. I do not think just because someone and in particular a Man, says sweet things means he just wants sex. I am in a similiar situation going on 5 months now and I have not had sex with him--yet he is still Very much into this EA with me. We kiss and do some other things but no intercourse. He says sweet things to me but I do not think it's only because he wants to get in my pants. He wants to get into my pants whether or not he says these things. If a man doesn't want to have sex with you, there is something wrong with him, or he's gay. I say be cautious because he Is married and you Are separated, but at the same time, don't read too much into what he's saying because it will drive you absolutely insane. Just take it into appreciation and consideration that he means what he says.
whichwayisup Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 Enjoy your freedom and be alone. Getting involved and allowing yourself to fall into the arms of a MM will only cause you harm and along the way, you'll lose your self confidence too. Take a read in this section and see what you're up against if you choose (and it IS a choice) to go down this path. Remember too, you aren't divorced, you're separated.
Mino Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 I do not understand why some people translate nice things guy says into "he just wants sex." I hear this all the time and it absolutely drives me nuts! All men want sex--and all women want sex. We are human sex maniacs. I do not think just because someone and in particular a Man, says sweet things means he just wants sex. I am in a similiar situation going on 5 months now and I have not had sex with him--yet he is still Very much into this EA with me. We kiss and do some other things but no intercourse. He says sweet things to me but I do not think it's only because he wants to get in my pants. He wants to get into my pants whether or not he says these things. If a man doesn't want to have sex with you, there is something wrong with him, or he's gay. I say be cautious because he Is married and you Are separated, but at the same time, don't read too much into what he's saying because it will drive you absolutely insane. Just take it into appreciation and consideration that he means what he says. I agree 100%, everyone is always negative, men do have feelings too, they are not sex monsters;)
OWoman Posted December 13, 2007 Posted December 13, 2007 All men want sex--and all women want sex. Thank you for pointing this out. I get a little confused sometimes by some of the things I read here which suggest that sex is something men want, and women part with reluctantly in order to keep the men around for something more useful (taking out the garbage? Fixing the leaking tap?). I take out my own garbage and fix my own leaking taps, but while I can provide my own orgasms I do still prefer having someone else on hand, so to speak, to help out with that.
frannie Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 he has told me he is attracted to me, likes me "a lot" and makes excuses to see me. we have become intimate about a month ago, and the other day he said "i enjoy being with you so much it frightens me." My MM used to say something similar when we first were getting to know each other. I asked him what he meant, and as far as I remember he said something along the lines of, well, they were strong feelings that are incompatable with just coasting along with life as he had done... strong feelings that lead to actions, difficult things to control, and therefore 'frightening'. Actually I think MM said 'dangerous' or something like that. It's all a dim memory now Anyway... my suggestion is to not spend time wondering what he means... just get out of it while you're still sane. You just got out of one mess, right? Where's the logic in putting yourself into another miserable situation..?
Phateless Posted December 17, 2007 Posted December 17, 2007 I agree 100%, everyone is always negative, men do have feelings too, they are not sex monsters;) If he's cheating on his wife, his feelings deserve little consideration.
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