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to the guys, the dreadful pull back, what's it mean?


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Posted

"pulling back"...why do you/they do it? after getting very frustrated, i broke down and asked the guy i had been seeing why he was ignoring me all the sudden, he said it was becuase he thought i wasn't interested but he did like me. after making an effort to show i was interested (one text message asking him to hang out -which was ignored), nothing. completely ignores me after a whole month of dating. now i realize he's not worth my time, but i am interested as to why men/this guy do this when things are progressing well. is it because you aren't that into us? what should women do?

Posted

i too would like to understand this ...

My only idea would be .. he's afraid he's taking things more seriously then you (the girl) and wants to play it cool.. and know your feelings before he tells you his...?

Posted

is this how it happens? are the guys trying to get us to admit our feelings first? is that what all this "what are you thinking" questioning is all about? oy de mi! i do think, though, that texts are so impersonal. i would try calling him. if he is unreceptive, then move on i suppose? yah, dating is a pain in the ass!

Posted

Not a guy, but if he's doing that, he is just not that into you. It is not games. He dated you for a month, you were auditioning, as it were.....he didn't pick you for the next level (dating exclusively.) Really, that's why you date someone, to see if you want a relationship with them, right?

Don't sweat it.

Posted

I've had many experiences with the push/pull guy... and it's so easy to get wrapped up in it because the pull is so enticing. I dated someone for 4 months and went through the same deal and it literally sucked the energy out of me.

 

He'd say things like "I can't stop thinking about you- I like you so much, I'd love to have a baby with you..." Then, his prompting would make me vulnerable and I'd respond in kind and he'd tell me he didn't know what he wanted. It was literally like that day to day. A heart felt e-mail saying he'd never felt the way for anyone the way he did for me.... and if I opened up to him and told him I felt the same- he'd go missing in action, or say he needed space.

 

This went on for a long time- and I let it happen...

We'd have a wonderful weekend together and he'd call me his gf.... then by the end of the weekend he'd get distant and ignore me.

 

I played the game for a while because I thought he would eventually come around.... but eventually I had to end it for my own sanity and self respect. I realized the issue belonged to him- not me... so I told him to get lost.

 

I still think of him, and sometimes I miss the good times. But ultimately, I realized I spent more time being upset and confused than I did feeling good about things. That was what helped me make the decision.

 

Guys like that don't often come around.... or by the time they do- it's too late- smart girls like us are long gone.

Posted

I give girls the push pull when I'm either very busy or 2 not interested but then get horny

Posted
I give girls the push pull when I'm either very busy or 2 not interested but then get horny

 

haha.

 

The silly thing is that girls often know this deep down and still hang around.

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