EYECANDY000 Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Seeking answers: ok. so I have been dating this guy for the past four months until we decided to be exclusive with each other. We have had a couple of arguments here and there but worked them out. We became intimate about a month or so after getting to know each other. Now the thing is he is requesting that I should get on some kind of birth control. I am very scared only because I have never swallowed pills everyday , except for my vitmains,, but those are flavored gummies .. And I know there are other opions like the patch, shot, etc. etc. But i hear so much about how womens body changes after they start taking birth control. all the different side affects. I discussed my concerns with him and how I dont want my body to change, and that I want to give it some thought, but hes like whats there to think about. Like its no big deal. I know I have to go to the doctor and they will prescibe something for me that fits my medical history and would likely have less side effects. . I guess my question is ladies what are some side affects you have dealt with? And is it really just no big deal, or am I being a baby about the situation? Would you get on birth control for someone if they asked you?
melodymatters Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Well first of all, I don't see it as going on BC FOR him, it's for yourself as well if you don't want to get preggers ! If you are on a budget, he should split the cost. Nowadays the pills have much less hormones, and therefore less side effects. I would stick with that over the shots, as I hear those can make you depressed and gain weight, and you can't go " off" them until they wear off. Give the pill a try and then if it makes you feel badly, you can try something else !
justpassingthrough Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 I wouldn't have sex without birth control unless I was planning on a pregnancy. But that may just be me.
bluepoppy Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 So different pills will affect you in different ways at different times in your life. Some people have reactions, some don't. It takes about 3 months for all the effects to kick in, and I wouldn't recomend swapping them around till you find one with less affects. Birth control pills affect different people in different ways. I've tried them three times (different types over a different point in time)- the first time - I swelled up like a ballon and had a huge arse after two months - and would have extreme PMT (you know tears cos it was a bad day or they'd run out of chocolate at the shop or some nonesense), the second time, I completely lost my sex drive, so it really worked as a contraceptive - the last time - well it worked and actually reduced my PMT to something a bit more tollerable - and my arse stayed the same, with slightly larger tits, my mood swings are probably less than with out at that time of the month But - if your not happy with the idea of it, you shouldn't take it -it's your body. There are other methods. Your second question - would you if someone asked you to - well it depends on the 'what's in it for me side of things' - like not getting pregnant, being in control of the contraception - so it's also been a discussion for two. I'd worry that he is dismissive of your concerns about going on the pill - he should know that it could affect you, and be prepared for that things can happen to you on it. You also say - with your medical history - I'm not sure what that means but there are some conditions you shouldn't touch the pill.
Krytie TV Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 I would definitely NOT be in a long term relationship with a woman who refused to use birth control. There's way too many things that can happen throughout a frequent sex life that it would basically shut me down in the intimacy department. I'd se spending too much time worrying.
allina Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 I'm concerned that someone who seems to know this little about safe sex is even having sex! Are you using condoms? How old are you? Your bf is ABSOLUTELY right in wanting to prevent an unplanned pregnancy. Also modern day medicine is amazing and most women take the pill with little or no side effects. I would try the pill called ortho tri cyclen lo, it's very effective and low in hormone levels.
Author EYECANDY000 Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 Im 25 I guess i should have stated that we are using condoms.. But he says that he wants to eliminate condoms and have me get on the pill instead
Krytie TV Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Condoms break, slip, you name it. Birth control pills are way more effective because, when used correctly, they remove the stupid human behavior element. You're lucky he's even having sex with you at all IMO.
norajane Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Talk to your doc about your fears and the types of pills they have. Some people are very sensitive and have all kinds of reactions, others don't. I was the kind who never had one single side effect on the pill, and I always took them exactly the way I supposed to and never had a single pregnancy scare. However, I hope you are using condoms now, and will continue to use them even if you go on the pill. If your bf is trying to get you to take the pill so he can stop using condoms, forget the boyfriend...he does not have your best interests at heart. There are too many diseases out there that you don't want to end up with - things he might not even know he's passing on to you if he's a carrier but does not have symptoms (herpes, for one).
allina Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Im 25 I guess i should have stated that we are using condoms.. But he says that he wants to eliminate condoms and have me get on the pill instead Oh, sorry I assumed you were much younger and possibly not ready for sex. Birth control really is a great option but make sure your bf gets tested for STDs before you even consider having sex without a condom.
norajane Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Oh, sorry I assumed you were much younger and possibly not ready for sex. Birth control really is a great option but make sure your bf gets tested for STDs before you even consider having sex without a condom. Testing once is not enough. He could be carrying something that won't show up on a test until months and months later. Or he could end up cheating on her (they've only been dating 4 months! she doesn't KNOW he won't). If he wants to have sex with her without condoms, you can BET he's been having sex without condoms with every other woman who would let him!!! ALWAYS use condoms.
allina Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Testing once is not enough. He could be carrying something that won't show up on a test until months and months later. Or he could end up cheating on her (they've only been dating 4 months! she doesn't KNOW he won't). If he wants to have sex with her without condoms, you can BET he's been having sex without condoms with every other woman who would let him!!! ALWAYS use condoms. So you think that in a relationship a couple should never have sex without a condom? I am very pro safe sex but that's pushing it for me. My bf and I do not use condoms and I feel secure with that
norajane Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 So you think that in a relationship a couple should never have sex without a condom? I am very pro safe sex but that's pushing it for me. My bf and I do not use condoms and I feel secure with that I think you take a calculated risk when you have sex without a condom. People in trusting long term relationships represent a smaller risk. It's not a risk I would take with a guy I've only known 4 months who is pushing me to stop using condoms.
amaysngrace Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 I don't like the pill. For me it made me feel like I had an intruder in my body that was making my body go against it's natural way. My BF wanted me to go on BC again but I said no. We use condoms every time. And he still pulls out. It's cool though. I don't mind. My exH and I use to go unprotected. He had a vasectomy. His load in me was kind of nasty when it use to drip out now that I think about it.
Cobra_X30 Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 My exH and I use to go unprotected. He had a vasectomy. His load in me was kind of nasty when it use to drip out now that I think about it. Three letters! TMI!
Lauriebell82 Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 I think you take a calculated risk when you have sex without a condom. People in trusting long term relationships represent a smaller risk. It's not a risk I would take with a guy I've only known 4 months who is pushing me to stop using condoms. I agree with that..my boyfriend and I don't use condoms, however I have been on depo provera (the shot) for 4.5 years now, so I'm not worried about it. However, I did require that my boyfriend be tested, which he was. Depo is a very good birth control, however I had very irregular periods the first year I was on it..it was very annoying. But I have not had my period in about 2.5-3 years (with the exception of some spotting here and there). I love it! I can't take the pill because of other medication I take, but for me its a great bc method. The thing you said about your bf wanting you to get on birth control so you don't use condoms anymore is a red flag. That is not a reason to get on it at all! Sit him down, and ask him why he thinks you should stop using condoms. Tell him, you would rather get on birth control and stick with using condoms as well in the meantime.
Phateless Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Seeking answers: ok. so I have been dating this guy for the past four months until we decided to be exclusive with each other. We have had a couple of arguments here and there but worked them out. We became intimate about a month or so after getting to know each other. Now the thing is he is requesting that I should get on some kind of birth control. I am very scared only because I have never swallowed pills everyday , except for my vitmains,, but those are flavored gummies .. And I know there are other opions like the patch, shot, etc. etc. But i hear so much about how womens body changes after they start taking birth control. all the different side affects. I discussed my concerns with him and how I dont want my body to change, and that I want to give it some thought, but hes like whats there to think about. Like its no big deal. I know I have to go to the doctor and they will prescibe something for me that fits my medical history and would likely have less side effects. . I guess my question is ladies what are some side affects you have dealt with? And is it really just no big deal, or am I being a baby about the situation? Would you get on birth control for someone if they asked you? Go to the Planned Parenthood (google it, it's a .org not a .com) website and do some research. THE PILL ALONE IS MORE EFFECTIVE THAN CONDOMS ALONE. The ring is also a great option because you only have to mess with it once a month, so it's near impossible to forget, and still much more effective by itself than condoms alone. Good for you for even considering it and being responsible! If this information has already been posted, I apologize for not reading past the original post.
NYCHottie Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Do not let some guy bully you into BC pills. ALL meds carry some type of side effect and risk. As a matter of fact, they are just now launching a huge class action suit for women who took the patch and had all kinds of side effects. Even the pill will put you at risk. I dont like his controlling nature with this. I would tell him you will stick with condoms. If he doesnt like that, then he doesnt really care about you anyhow.
Phateless Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Do not let some guy bully you into BC pills. ALL meds carry some type of side effect and risk. As a matter of fact, they are just now launching a huge class action suit for women who took the patch and had all kinds of side effects. Even the pill will put you at risk. I dont like his controlling nature with this. I would tell him you will stick with condoms. If he doesnt like that, then he doesnt really care about you anyhow. She should do some research and decide for herself instead of pushing back just for it's own sake. That's not being assertive, that's being rebellious.
NYCHottie Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 She should do some research and decide for herself instead of pushing back just for it's own sake. That's not being assertive, that's being rebellious. P - she wrote, "I discussed my concerns with him and how I dont want my body to change, and that I want to give it some thought, but hes like whats there to think about. Like its no big deal." That's not the attitude of a guy who seems to care about her feelings on the topic...
allina Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Why is not wanting to use condoms such a terrible reason to use the pill? That's one of my main reasons for taking BC! Like I said before I am very much for safe sex but if you are in a committed relationship not wanting to use condoms isn't really a red flag.
compassion42 Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Planned Parenthood is an excellent source of information on BC options. Also, have you considered using a diaphram? It's a great way to use BC without putting hormones in your body.
Enema Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 My fiance gets the depo provera shot. A quick injection once every 3 months and we're all set. She had a hard time sticking to the regimen of pills every day so this was the best option. My doctor won't let me get a vasectomy because I'm too young and don't have any kids.
Lauriebell82 Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 My fiance gets the depo provera shot. A quick injection once every 3 months and we're all set. She had a hard time sticking to the regimen of pills every day so this was the best option. My doctor won't let me get a vasectomy because I'm too young and don't have any kids. Yeah, that's what I get. It's real easy, I highly recommend it. Every 3 months you go and get it then don't have to worry about it at all. The only negative aspects are that you have very irregular periods the first year, but then they stop and you don't get your period at all..which is AWESOME! The other issue is that there is delayed fertility, which means it will take awhile to get pregnant after your last injection.
norajane Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Yeah, that's what I get. It's real easy, I highly recommend it. Every 3 months you go and get it then don't have to worry about it at all. The only negative aspects are that you have very irregular periods the first year, but then they stop and you don't get your period at all..which is AWESOME! The other issue is that there is delayed fertility, which means it will take awhile to get pregnant after your last injection. There is also a risk for bone loss for using the shot long term. Check any medical site and you will find something like this on it: Bone Density - Women who use Depo-Provera® may lose significant bone mineral density. Bone loss is greater with increasing duration of use and may not be completely reversible. It is unknown if use of Depo-Provera® during adolescence or early adulthood, a critical period of bone development, will reduce peak bone mass and increase the risk of osteoporotic fracture in later life. Depo-Provera® should be used as a long-term birth control method (e.g., longer than two years) only if other birth control methods are inadequate.
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