nitabean Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Hello everyone, I am new here and could really use some advice. I met this guy about 3 weeks ago. We met online and hit if off really well and met the next day. i immediately felt comfortable with him and felt a spark. Over the next few days he became so intense I got to the point it felt like he was smothering me. We had a conversation and mutually agreed that we both liked each other a lot and that we would slow it down. Over the next week or so things were great. We talked on the phone a lot throughout the day and text messages to the point I thought I would go over my plan! It didnt seem to matter if he was busy at work, he had his blue tooth on and talked right through working. He came over this past Wednesday and we were very cuddly and close and things felt great, we made plans for the Friday. He went in to work on Thursday and said that he was asked to work on Friday could we postpone til Saturday, I agreed. Then Saturday by 830am he had a laundry list of things to do and none of it included me. We saw each other briefly out shopping, he claimed he was making time for me and we met at a in between location. I just wasnt feeling like he wanted to be there. Before parting ways I asked him what was up, he said it had nothing to do with me and he was just busy with Christmas and work and had a lot on his plate. He assured me that it wasnt me. Later that day and on through today his calls and text are less frequent and a lot shorter. On the phone he always has an excuse to get off of it, followed with the I will call you back and he never does. The texts went from small paragraphs to one or two words. His cell is his only phone and for the past 2 days he has turned it off a lot and never did before. I have a feeling where this is going, but why would he continue to say he wants me around, wants to spend time with me and it is just work and family obligations. It just doesnt add up, and I cant keep him on the phone long enough to ask him about it. I know i shouldnt just wait by the phone but I really dig this guy and I want to believe what he is telling me. Any advice?
brothermartin Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 He may be married. Have you been to his place? If he's not married or seeing someone else, you may want to ask a woman what's up, because this sounds exactly like something women have done to me and other guys I know. No offense to women but, some of you do play games and it sounds like this guy may have learned one.
Dynamo Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 He may be married. Have you been to his place? If he's not married or seeing someone else, you may want to ask a woman what's up, because this sounds exactly like something women have done to me and other guys I know. No offense to women but, some of you do play games and it sounds like this guy may have learned one. I agree with pretty much everything in this post. Not trying to insult women or anything, but it sounds like a game they do a lot.
EYECANDY000 Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 either it is family and work or hes not interested anymore. I can understand if he have family issues and its hard to give someone your undivided attention. I doubt he is turning off his phone and missing phone calls just to avoid you. If hes trying to avoid you im sure he would leave his phone on and just not pick up or answer your texts. Before jumping to conclusions, ask him.. since you cant get the chance to ask him over the phone and you guys are use to texting each other do it that way
NYCHottie Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Tough to say what his deal is - whether he is married or lost interest. I would advise you to NOT contact him at all. Make yourself less available, date others, and just see how he responds.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 No more contact as tough as that can be. If he texts or calls, do not respond or answer. Get out and about and think about being with others. Whatever the reason is, on why he is all over you, is irrelevant. Don't worry about why he lost interest, concern yourself with getting over the minor rejection and be thankful it was only a few weeks. He doesn't seem worthy of your affections.
Author nitabean Posted December 12, 2007 Author Posted December 12, 2007 Thanks for all of your input, last night i did just not reply to his text message and at 7am my phone started ringing. He actually talked to me for 20 min on my way to work which is more than he has talked to me in 3 days. I stayed upbeat and casual. He texted once during the day just to let me know he was still super busy at work and then he called back tonight right as i walked in the door and was apologizing for neglecting me. I am just gonna lay low for now and see what happens. I think I may be over analyzing things because I have been lied to soooo much but I am keeping my guard up at least half way for now! Thanks again for everyones input, I am glad I found this site!
Sunblast Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 No more contact as tough as that can be. If he texts or calls, do not respond or answer. Get out and about and think about being with others. Whatever the reason is, on why he is all over you, is irrelevant. Don't worry about why he lost interest, concern yourself with getting over the minor rejection and be thankful it was only a few weeks. He doesn't seem worthy of your affections. All of your posts here, you're saying one thing "You're great and he's a dog, get over him, ignore him." You seem very bitter.
Trialbyfire Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 I got to the point it felt like he was smothering me. We had a conversation and mutually agreed that we both liked each other a lot and that we would slow it down. Here's where things got a bit derailed. If he feels like he's being rejected, he's going to play the game.
LovesDog Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 Ignore Sunblast....he's just a bitter shell of an empty soul. Nitabean: I feel like I am dealing with the same guy (or type of guy!) When I back off, he moves forward. Take it slow. These guys want to know you all at once, then freak out or something. I'm learning the hard way to make myself unavailable. I still screw even that up! It's so hard, especially when you really like the guy. Really really hard.
D-Lish Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 I think you are doing the right thing by letting him come to you. Perhaps he too got a little scared about getting involved too fast. I think it's interesting that when you pulled away he took notice and started showing more interest. I'd continue to do your own thing and not be so available to him. If he has been the one pulling back, then he should also be the one coming to you. I wouldn't even ask him what is up... not this early on. Just continue to be your happy, busy self and act as if you could take or leave him until he shows you a little more respect with regards to cancelling dates and returning phone calls. If he continues to flip-flop, I'd let it go.
Green Posted December 12, 2007 Posted December 12, 2007 I think you might be gay... did you ever consider that... maybe he's gay. Look if one of you is gay thats definetly the problem. otherwise things might be going good dont be in such a nervouse reck to rush everything
Author nitabean Posted December 13, 2007 Author Posted December 13, 2007 Tonight in the brief conversation that we had I got the "well thats what friends are for" statement from him, im done. And no im not gay...lol.
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