johnnytable Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 I have been seeing a woman for a little while. I like her in many ways, but to be honest I don't really enjoy kissing her and I'm having trouble getting past it. It seems like kissing is more of an intimate thing for me than sex sometimes, so I feel like something is missing. Any advice?
Author johnnytable Posted December 10, 2007 Author Posted December 10, 2007 I'm not sure exactly. Sort of moves her tongue around randomly and isn't very sensual. Almost like she is "doing it" instead of "feeling it" if that makes any sense. I've had good kisses that send shivers up my spine, so I know what it can be like.
EYECANDY000 Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 kissing is very intimate for me as well. and a great turn on. But i would show her or guide her how you want to be kissed. this is a easy fixer up-er
Blue Eyed Brain Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Oh, I know too well what you mean.... I've had a bad kisser or two and it's so hard to get passed it. Be the aggressor and she'll work off your advance. Tell her what you like (I love it when you suck my bottom lip, I love the way you suck my tongue, teeth, whatever). Report back to us the outcome of your teachings....
Cobra_X30 Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 I have been seeing a woman for a little while. I like her in many ways, but to be honest I don't really enjoy kissing her and I'm having trouble getting past it. It seems like kissing is more of an intimate thing for me than sex sometimes, so I feel like something is missing. Any advice? I'm going to go gender neutral here and say... deal breaker. Unless she has lots of other qualities... if it's kinda touch and go... let her go!
NYCHottie Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 If she can't master the 101 skills, you can be sure everything else will be just as lame.
lbj123 Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Hate to say it...but it's a problem in my book. Kissing is part of compatability. To me, a physical connection is essential to a great relationship. If you are really into her, I'd give it a try at telling her what you like, what she can do...but unfortunately I think 9 times out of 10 its just there or it isn't...
dreaming4ever Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 I've had this problem with guys in the past but I've found that sometimes it takes a bit of time to adjust to each other's kissing styles and then everything is great after that. I've had quite a few first kisses that were horrible that eventually changed to amazing kisses with the same person if you know what I mean. Just try to guide her and show her what you like and make gentle suggestions so as not to hurt her ego Good luck!!
Trialbyfire Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Almost anyone can learn how to kiss well. It's so sensual, if done right. Make it a little game with her. One day, kiss her three different ways and ask her which one she prefers. Then have her do the same, back to you. Find the best one of her imitations of yours and amend gently. It could teach you something too.
lonelybird Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 sensitive kissing is more alluring than 'checking your tooth', but if you have special connection and bond of heart which is most important, good kiss is teachable
polywog Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 This is a fun site, maybe useful for you http://www.virtualkiss.com/kissingschool/ I haven't looked at it in a while, but I seem to remember this dilema/problem being addressed on there someplace. As for your kissing thing with this woman... geez, is it that there is no magic, or is it just her tecnique doesn't mesh with yours? My recent bf was probably the most frustrating guy I've ever kissed. I enjoyed his kisses and there was lots of electricity, but he really just only had his lips up against mine in varying pressures.... no tongue, or rarely... not subtle nibbles or all that stuff I love. I feel like you can tell someone exactly what you'd like to do to them with a kiss. If I initiated more, kisswise, he barely took up the clue. I guess maybe we had dif. styles. Hey, maybe you are Him posting about Me:eek:!
Trialbyfire Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Haha...lonelybird. Maybe that's what she's doing. Making certain you have all your teeth. Btw, you're so pretty. I think this is the first portrait shot I've seen of you.
mortensorchid Posted December 15, 2007 Posted December 15, 2007 If they are a bad kisser, they are also a bad lover. I have been there many times. Trust me, it will show in other areas.
LaughMachine Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 You can't go wrong with kissing unless you are truly terrible at it. Is it a dry kiss? bad breath? no sexual chemistry?
omgitzjm Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 Just slightly off topic, What are some of the qualities of a bad kiss?
AriaIncognito Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 I'm getting turned on reading this thread because I'm thinking about how it was to kiss my ex. Man oh man. I have to agree with some posters, for me, it's always been there from the start. I mean 1st kiss ever with someone is awkward. I'm talking like, second date kissing. If it still isn't going well at that point, I'd be wondering. It's definitely a very intimate thing and not everyone likes the same thing. Some men I've had to take time to get used to (varying pressure/tongue/etc). It was never a turned me off situation though. You can try the guidance thing, but I'd be wary too, that if they aren't good at this they might not be good at other things you need compatibility on. I wonder if there's any studies regarding kissing quality tied into sexual quality.
Citizen Erased Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 Kissing is very important to me. My ex was terrible at it, just bad really. We were together 2 years and he improved some, but after I left him and hooked up with my current bf...*sighs* Our first kiss was terrific. We had already fooled around for a few months when we were 15, so it wasn't exactly our first kiss, but when he looked into my eyes, put his arms around my waist and kissed me like he never wanted to stop... well I am just lucky he still kisses me like that
Lucky555 Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 oh my gosh bad kissing...my ex learned to kiss me the way i liked but he still continued to shower my mouth with SALIVA! such a turnoff. He couldn't help it i guess. He saw me wipe my mouth its like a ST. BERNARD you know drooling all over the place. His tongue was great but i just couldn't get over it! but thats not the reason he is my ex. lol I don't think dumping the person should be because of how they kiss....but i don't think i would live with a salivating guy just knowing after the kiss its going to be gross! eww.
compassion42 Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 A weird kisser or an awkward kisser is one thing, but a BAD kisser is just plain horrible. Personally, I just can't be with someone if the kiss is horrible.
Mustang Sally Posted December 16, 2007 Posted December 16, 2007 I would say, as others have said, that if it doesn't improve in a few tries...forget it. Kissing to me is more about feeling the other person...know what I mean? You don't have to be very technical about it. In fact, focusing on technique makes it...well, stale, in my opinion. It's about letting go and just doing what feels right/good. If one can do that, it will be good - great, even - experienced, or no. If one can't do that...it won't feel good no matter how practiced one is.
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