serialgf Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 so after months of reading LS posts and never posting myself here goes... i've been dating my new bf for about a month now. it's pretty safe for me to say that i am in love with him. though, as my handle suggests, i have been pretty much been in a LTR since i was 17 (i am 27 now). at the same time, though, i have never felt this good about someone - i mean we never really fight, and recently when i was trying to figure out if it was really love i listed all of the reasons i think i love him and there were about 30 (a little OCD, i know). well, anyway, things are going great right? we always have such a great time together and this past saturday night were having one such fabulous time when i suddenly became a bit closed off... he's always very in tune to my mood switches (which happen pretty frequently, i'm ashamed to say - i'm a gemini/comes with the territory) and i just couldn't help but tell him what was actually going on.... ....now this may have been my first mistake - i.e. not filtering what i was going to say... but i basically told him that i still have feelings for my ex and sometimes wish i could date them both at the same time... needless to say, he was VERY pissed off at this notion... SIDENOTE: I should give y'all a BRIEF background on my R with my ex: to make a long story short, we dated on and off for 5.5 years and we still love each other very much, we just don't have the same priorities - he's a free spirit/never wants to settle down, i crave a stable relationship, children, dogs, the works. We broke up for good about 2 months ago, but he still lives in my house until he finds somewhere (out of town) to move. He left about a week ago to go down south to find said place but cut his trip short saying he discovered he didn't want to live so far away from people he knows (i.e. me) so now he's looking for places within an hour or so of my town... END SIDENOTE ... so now i'm worried sick that i may have totally messed things up with current BF. that night, the last time we saw each other or even spoke, i didn't want to leave but he said maybe it was best if we just went our separate ways tonight - just for tonight. that was two nights ago and i haven't heard from him since. up to now, i'm usually the one who wants to just talk about it tomorrow and he's been the one who wants to talk things through right away so this is a bit of the tables turning on me. he's also usually really good at calling me back when he says he's going to. i ran into a mutual friend who works with him last night - i met up with her alone because i wasn't ready to face him yet - he actually gave her a ride from work to the bar where i was at - i told her i wanted to meet her alone and she relayed that message to him - at that point, last night i was still confused as to what i should do. well, she told me he doesn't have any more minutes on his phone and he may be at work by now, he usually sleeps in right until he goes to work (he works nights at a restaurant) so i'm not sure if he's avoiding me or genuinely wants to talk... i texted him a bit ago saying, "please call when you're ready to talk." please help me guys - have i messed up beyond repair? am i a total jerk for saying what i did? am i just confused? am i too caught up with my ex? i really do want to get over him and just move on with new bf... HELP!
NYCHottie Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Personally, I'd dump you cold at that point so you could go be with McDreamy. BUT, you need to realize theres a reason you told him this. Perhaps you really DO want to be with the ex instead.
compassion42 Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Unfortunately it sounds like you started a new relationship before completely ending the first one. I don't blame your current bf for being upset and I can't say for sure but it does sound like he's pretty hurt by you saying what you said. But maybe you two can talk things over and you can repair the damage somehow.
Author serialgf Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 thanks for the advice, guys - tough to swallow, but you're right. NYCHottie - glad you're not my boyfriend ... and after thinking about it i definitely don't want to be with the ex... compassion - you were totally right on... we talked last night and worked it out - thanks again!
Krytie TV Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Yeah, I'd be out the door and nothing you could say would change that. One month is not worth hearing something like that from someone. You blew it if he knows what's good for him.
Author serialgf Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 wow you guys are harsh! krytie if you read above we worked it out, but you're right.... i have always had a problem with diarrhea of the mouth... i need to watch what i say... thanks for your reply though
Cobra_X30 Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 wow you guys are harsh! krytie if you read above we worked it out, but you're right.... i have always had a problem with diarrhea of the mouth... i need to watch what i say... thanks for your reply though Just remember... there are some things you say which you can never take back! It sounds in a way as though you are testing his boundaries. Be very careful... although doing this may not blow up in your face right away... it will permanently damage your relationship. It shows him you are untrustworthy with his emotions.
Author serialgf Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 wow cobra i really appreciate your input. i think its what i need to hear and i think you are pretty much right. i do want him to trust me and i don't want to test any boundaries so i am going to try to be a good honest girl - harder for some than others but i guess that's the good thing about reaching out to folks on LS. Fortunately, he's a very understanding guy and even though we haven't been dating long i think he knows i have some "quirks" but please don't think i am making light of the situation - i take your advice to heart - thanks again!
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