layercakegal Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 hey all I have been with my boyfriend now for 4.5 months, and the last 2.5 of which have been an LDR. Before that we had been going out for 1.5 months, and had a break of 2 months before we got back together. This is my first relationship, im 20 and he's 19, and its freaking the hell out of me. He loves me, and i think i love him, but im not sure, you know? Some days i need to be on my own and have space, and like when he wants to have a long conversation by texting each other, i'll get annoyed. But some days i miss him so much and just want to go 'i love you and i miss you i wish you were here'. I think i have been in love before, might have been infatuation because i was *really* obsessed with my best friend for like a year, and like just missed him the second he left after we'd hung out. My question is this: one of my friends met a guy 3/4 weeks ago and is in love with him. does the fact that im not in love with my guy after 4.5 months mean theres no hope?
Phateless Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Love is not something you can put a definition on, and there is no defined threshold. Your friend is most likely infatuated, not in love. You guys haven't been together that long either so don't put so much pressure on yourself. If you don't want to talk that much just tell him you'll talk to him later. Don't force yourself to be on the phone if you don't want to because you'll only end up resenting him for it. As for love... say it when you're ready and when you feel it, not because he wants to hear it and not because you think you "should" feel it.
compassion42 Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 You not being in love with him yet is nothing to worry about. Love takes time to build and grow. Take your time, try not to stress and enjoy the relationship for what it is now.
stillafool Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 I think when you fall in love you will know it. You won't have to ask or wonder, your heart will tell you.
EYECANDY000 Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Dont be reaked out because you feel like it has been a certain period and you havent fallen in love yet. Love is something that just comes naturally, not forced. If you have to force your self to love someone then its not love. Its natural to want to have your space , nothing wrong with that. And dont live your life comparing it to somone elses. Your friend may either be the type that a) wears her heart on her sleeve, b) the type that cannot keep a boyfriend because she expects to much in the beginning. Live your own life. Your feelings will grow naturally.
EYECANDY000 Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Dont be freaked out because you feel like it has been a certain period and you havent fallen in love yet. Love is something that just comes naturally, not forced. If you have to force your self to love someone then its not love. Its natural to want to have your space , nothing wrong with that. And dont live your life comparing it to somone elses. Your friend may either be the type that a) wears her heart on her sleeve, b) the type that cannot keep a boyfriend because she expects to much in the beginning. Live your own life. Your feelings will grow naturally.
Author layercakegal Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 oh you guys rock thanks for all your responses, i think i just have to stop analysing things, im a sucker for reading between the lines and overthinking situations, them coming out with conclusions that are way off. thanks again x x x x
Lauriebell82 Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 oh you guys rock thanks for all your responses, i think i just have to stop analysing things, im a sucker for reading between the lines and overthinking situations, them coming out with conclusions that are way off. thanks again x x x x Overanalyzing things is what us loveshackers do best!!! Welcome to the club.
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