jimmer21 Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 to fight for her back. some of you may know my situation im 19 shes 18, we were together for almost twoyears did some amzin things together and spent nearly every day of that together.she realy did love me and i realy di love her we where so close. we did have lots of arguments but they didnt mean anything to me but oviusly they did to her. we split a few times but where nothing rele. then one night we where at a party and i was drunk was apparently flirting with a girl and she dragged me outside and i said i didnt care and she said its over then and since then which was 2 and half months ago never spoke to me or replyed again even though the daybefor she said she never wanted to lose me and loved me i was her world. i begged for almost 3 weeks to no avail her family hated me and told her its for the best. anyway 2 months past with 5 weeks no contact her birthday came and iignored it cus she was harsh on the split even though what she wassayin wasnt true like being over it in a few day lol. she came round mine just gone midnioght on her bday we kissed and tlked and she said she wished i never went to the party so we would be together, she missed me and still has some feelings for me. shekept askin whoi was seeing etc. anyway after that she suggested no contact or being friends itold her i couldnt be her friend was to hard. her reasons for splitting where itreatedher bad, we where gettin real borin etc. anyway she says now thaty she cant risk givin me another chance and shes happy gettin pissed every weekend she is kinda seeing some kid who is 16 which i cant get my head around. anyway i dont know how she can keep up no contact it just doesnt feelrite. i still after this amount of time want her back soooo much i love this girl to death and realy want to show her i can treat her better, i did treat her amazin most of the time it was just odd arguments. she told me a few days after comin to mine it was to tell me why we broke up etc and i dontknow why she came round when she was the one whosaid i dont wana hear from me again. i dont know if i should keep tryin the last few days i have had massiv urges to ring her send her emails presents i dont know i just want her in my life more than anything. will she get bored of gettin smashed everynite? will she call again i dont know. what do i do in my situation the last thing that was i said that i cant be your friend its to hard for both of us i need to leave it
Author jimmer21 Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 omg i am dying here its been 2 andhalf months and not since the start have icraved to contact her like i do now i want her back sooo much. what if i just keep up no contact and she just forgets about me
bustertypsy Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Hey Jimmer,sorry that you are going through a hard time.I know exactly where you are coming from.I am pretty much in the same boat myself. When you two split up,did you let her know that it wasn't what you wanted? Was she in no doubt that you love her and were hurt by the break up? Did you even try to get her back,maybe a bit of begging etc?? If the answer to these questions is yes,then you have done all you can.You and I both know that you cannot make somebody want you.It must come from within them.So contacting her is really not the way to go. What you are doing now is giving her space.She does think of you too,don't doubt that for a second.Who knows,she might even be hoping you'll call her.But it's her that has to make the move if she wants you back.Why?? Because then you will know that she truly wants to be with you.If you chased her and got her back,you would not be comfortable.You would feel that she had the upper hand,control of the relationship.If she comes to you freely,then you both enter back as equal partners,a much healthier scenario. Just be happy in the fact that you are doing the right thing by leaving her be.If she wants you,she will make the move.If not,would you want someone who doesn't want you.I know I wouldn't.
Author jimmer21 Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 yes i understand where you are coming from i just thought it might be the best thing as it was me who neglected her when i think i didnt realy compared to some of our freinds relationships but who knows. i just feel the more she has nothing to do with me the easier itll be for her. iknow it hurt her big time her friends told me that even though she denied it to me. i just cant bare it comein to her being with someone else then i dont know if icould look at her the same i meanilove this woman and would love to show her i have changed and want to take it realy slowly and do allthe young ppls things and eventualy be a family in years to come. so askin her out as a freind and ust keepin up thatimokbeing friends with her is abad i dea to show her ihave changed? i hate it as she is sooo stubourn and her family hate me and dont want her takiing to me.
CaliGuy Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Why would you "fight" to have someone in your life who doesn't want to be there? That's essentially the same as beating your head against a brick wall. Both produce the same results. You're much better off focusing on yourself and your friends, new hobbies, the gym, school, work, etc. You simply can not force someone to love you. Either they do or they do not. Nothing you do will change that. The sooner you understand that, the better off you'll be. And why waste time on someone who doesn't want to be with you? You'll only keep the ones who DO want to be with you away.
Author jimmer21 Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 she did wana be in my life and told me she never wants to leave ever but it was just the argument whichi i find it so hard iknow she loves me. i was thinkin of ritein her .................... hey i hope you had agood time in germany, A ive been thinkin and mostly about the fings i did rong when we were together, itook everythng for granted, i know weve had our moments and you probly thinkweve split upabout 4 times now this is the only seruos time inmy eyes the last 2 months have realy changed me i understand thatyou cant give me another chance even though its wat i wantmore thananything. like you said i iwishinever went to the party that night, but thenagainwe would still be inthe rut we wer before. atleast this time has opened our eyes, its been long enough now i feel thatit could work nowyour 18 we cango out clubbin together and most of time with our seperate groups, see our mates more A i know i was jelus and borin etc. we wer like a married cuple at our age was silly i realy wana show you A i have changed and im scared its to late wishi had before. i know we both havin goodtimebeing single now A but we canhave both go out with mates and that stuff but also spend the holidays together and d obathampton etc togehter. im sorry for not realisin this before ijust fell in love with you all i wanted to do was keep you close
Author jimmer21 Posted December 12, 2007 Author Posted December 12, 2007 send thator not? i kinda know the pros and cons and i probly shuidnt send it. but im not sure if i shud attempt at being her freidn imeanshe does have feelings for me she sadi that but enjoys being single and being able to go out with mates more. do i try be mates and act oki with everything and keep her frommovinonfrom me and wait it out or just keep up the no contact cus idont feel the no contact isworkin eventhough she came over drunkonher bday wheniignored it a few days later she said dhe onyl came over to reasure me it was over?wtf we aint spoke intwo months pretty ovius it was over thoguhts please?
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