nateman2384 Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 OK, I've been with my girlfriend for about 10 months. I know I love her. We argue every now and then but it isnt bad. It is a new experience to me however, I have never been in a relationship before, and I'm 22. So it is hard for me to completely comprehend what love is, and also understand the differences between men and women. I am fairly easy going, while down deep I have huge anxiety issues. We live together at her apartment, however there are 3 roommates who are just horrible. Basically we live in one room, there is no space to do anything, and no personal space. Luckily this will be changing in a week as we are moving into a house, with one roommate. The current living condition has drained me, as I have no personal space and rarely have personal time as I work full time and go to school full time. Basically, we will have a lot more space, and we wont be "cooped" up anymore which I feel will help so much. I just have anxiety because I've never been in a relationship before, how do I know she is the one? I love spending time with her, I gladly forfeit time with friends just to do nothing with her. We compliment each other very well, and we both respect each others future goals. We will be both graduating under-grad this spring and plan to move across the country together. The fact that I am willing to move across the country to be with her while she goes to grad school speaks for how much I care about her, and want to be here. Why am I posting? I want guys in particular to respond to following questions: Do you sometimes worry about upsetting her and do everything possible to prevent it? Does your girlfriend/wife sometimes get upset at something that you can't comprehend why she would be mad about it? I am new to this relationship thing, so I am sure this is fairly common, and the crappy living condition is making me more sensitive to it as I am more on the edge my self. Thanks.
amaysngrace Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Do you sometimes worry about upsetting her and do everything possible to prevent it? Does your girlfriend/wife sometimes get upset at something that you can't comprehend why she would be mad about it? It sounds like you're emotionally immature and I don't mean that in a bad way. It's just because you are new to this relationship thing. And probably have a problem with expressing how you feel. But if she is making you feel bad you should let her know about it. If she goes off on you for no apparent reason you should tell her she's being unfair. Let her explain better where she is coming from. If you are afraid of setting her off you are changing yourself subtly. You are becoming who you think she wants you to be rather than being yourself. You aren't doing yourself any favors by blowing it off. You should gently call her out on it. And stay true to you. Hopefully when things calm down after the move you will have time to spend with her to openly express your feelings with each other.
Author nateman2384 Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 Amaysngrace, Thanks for replying, I will admit I am emotionally immature, I tend to take things personally when they are not. As far as preventing her from being upset I am talking about when I am running late, or something like that, I drive faster just to get there on time, because punctuality is very important to her. I've talked to her about it before, and most of the time she isnt mad at me or frustrated with me, it is usually something else, school, roommates, etc... I just have to hear her vent, and I have taken it as she is mad with me. In general I am a person who cares too much about what other people think, have anxiety issues, and keep things bottled up emotionally. I just need to get used to things and get in my comfort zone.
amaysngrace Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Well if something is bothering you, you should speak up about it and not bottle it up. It's better to air these things out. She sounds like she cares a great deal about you so I would say you are safe to open up to her. You are in good hands.
Author nateman2384 Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 thanks, she has already told me there is nothing I could say or do that would make her not to be with me. I am just so paranoid of screwing it up. But being open with her and telling her how I feel will only make things stronger and relieve my anxieties.
amaysngrace Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 thanks, she has already told me there is nothing I could say or do that would make her not to be with me. I am just so paranoid of screwing it up. But being open with her and telling her how I feel will only make things stronger and relieve my anxieties. It sounds to me like you have a good thing with her. And you won't screw it up as long as you appreciate what you have with her.
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