notwhoiam Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 its almost 4am now. I have to be to work in a few hours.... All my suspicions were right. She did it. she slept with someone else. The same person that was calling her/ texting her at inappropriate hours. when I asked her to tell him to stop she said she would handle it. she said she did. she lied. I begged her to come home after her christmas party friday night. She had paid for a hotel room with her "friends" and said she would be back in the morning. I begged her to call me when the party was winding down and I would come pick her up. she said she would. I waited till 4 am, drinking mountain dew and monsters to stay awake. She never called. she never answered my texts. I told her it was over all weekend. We managed to start talking to eachother this afternoon. Thats when she tells me she made a big mistake and slept with someone else that night. I cant stop crying. why? why?y?Y?Y?Y?Y I'm dying. My soul has died. I could deal with staying out all night against my wishes, but it seems like she was planning this all along. now she says I'm bettter off withouyt her. what the ****. what the **** what the **** what the ****.. why why why?? i cant sleep. i cant think. i'm ****ing dying right now.. please... please make this go away.
Author notwhoiam Posted December 10, 2007 Author Posted December 10, 2007 I'm not strong enough. I'm not strong enough to deal with this pain
Author notwhoiam Posted December 10, 2007 Author Posted December 10, 2007 i read my post and cry. please.. please.. I don't what this pain. please make it go away.
dbtmarley Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 How long I don't know. I know the pain you are going through because I have been through it myself. It sucks! It sucks! It sucks! People who cheat are some of the most selfish people there are. They only think of themselves and not of the ones who they will be hurting. How long were the two of you together? Are you married? Today will be painful and so will tomorrow... The pain will be there next week. Accept it, embrace it and learn from it. She has shown you what kind of person she is and she may be one you do not want by your side. Thank her for showing you and move on. There are bigger and better things out there and love will more than likely come your way again. Trust me on this one. My ex gave me HIV which was so aggressive I had an AIDS diagnosis in 1 year. It could be much worse. Even in my situation I have found love, remarried, and even have a precious, healthy, little baby girl. I know it's hard right now... but it is a process unfortunately we must go through. Keep your chin up and hang in there.
VenusInFurs Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 She's a bitch. Simple as that. Like dbtmarley says, thank her for showing you her true colours, and don't have anything to do with her anymore. You're worth more. The pain you're feeling (which everyone has felt or will feel in their life) is natural and it WILL get easier with time. Cry, cry and cry some more, it's good to let it out. Try and distract yourself from thinking about her. Watch some comedy shows! Take up a new hobby, hang out with friends, go out and meet new people, whatever helps you.
cj1988 Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Hang in there baby, I know where you are, we all do here ! You are only in the first stage, it will get worse and then better, worse and then better again. Just remember, she is telling you and showing you what she really is, a selfish liar. She is telling you that she is no good for you because she already has someone else. That is the only reason someone tells you that unless they are a drug addict or worse, not after they admit to sleeping with someone else. Trust me, it has been over a year now and my H still claims he is innocent. I have gone through desperation I cannot live without you mode, to whatever I want a break now you a---hole. I have been through more emotions and changes in that time than I have in my life and I am 41.....so as you see, you will make it, we all do and you will be a better person in the end, I know I am ! He has to live with not only his lies and deception, but without me now.....he never thought that would happen after 13 years. I am strong now when I thought I could not be, just relax, do NOT beg and take care of yourself. Easier said than done, but I promise you will MAKE IT !
Author notwhoiam Posted December 10, 2007 Author Posted December 10, 2007 i can't do this. I just left work. They'll probably looking for me soon but I really don't care. I can't deal with this pain. I'm not strong enough. Less than an hour of sleep and I'm wide awake. why? why would she do this to me?????????????????????????
VenusInFurs Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 She did this to you because she is not the person you thought she was. She obviously didn't care about hurting your feelings. This is a harsh truth, but you must not take it personally. The problem isn't with you, it's with her, she's in the wrong. I know this is sooooooo sooooooooo hard for you right now, but you have to stay strong. **** work. Chill out. Look after yourself. I felt just like you five/six months ago, I had a pain I felt I couldn't deal with, and I didn't care about anything but my ex. Now, I'm fine. And you will be too. It's not the end of the world dude. Be strong!!!
Author notwhoiam Posted December 10, 2007 Author Posted December 10, 2007 there's nothing i can do to fix this, is there? there's nothing I can do to make this feeling go away? I got the number of the guy she slept with from her phone bill. the same guy I asked that she tell not to call/ text her at odd hours. I called him. He was in just as much shock as me. He was under the impression that we had been broken up for several weeks now. I told him that was not the case. She asked me if I was willing to go to counseling this morning. I couldn't give her an answer. This was not a mistake. She planned this night ahead of time. I know I have to walk away, but I can't. Why!?!?! WHY WOULD SHE DO THIS!?!? It sucks knowing how little I meant to her..
Author notwhoiam Posted December 10, 2007 Author Posted December 10, 2007 there's nothing i can do to fix this, is there? there's nothing I can do to make this feeling go away? I got the number of the guy she slept with from her phone bill. the same guy I asked that she tell not to call/ text her at odd hours. I called him. He was in just as much shock as me. He was under the impression that we had been broken up for several weeks now. I told him that was not the case. She asked me if I was willing to go to counseling this morning. I couldn't give her an answer. This was not a mistake. She planned this night ahead of time. I know I have to walk away, but I can't. Why!?!?! WHY WOULD SHE DO THIS!?!? It sucks knowing how little I meant to her..
VenusInFurs Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 You need to ask yourself 'Do I really want to be with someone capable of hurting me like this?' What makes you think she won't do it again? If you take her back now, she will think she can get away with more of this behaviour. She has done wrong and doesn't deserve you. Of course, I don't know the entirity of your situation, but this woman really does sound like a manipulative, selfish bitch. Does she seem genuinely sorry for what she's done? To be honest, the best advice is just to walk away, at least for now. Distance from her will give you better perspective on the situation, it really does sound like you need space to clear your head and decide what YOU want.
cj1988 Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Honey, calm down, I know it is hard.....been there, could not sleep, work, eat anything...it was like a slow death, but I chose LIFE. It took a while to get where I am now, but I did get here ! You will too ! Just hang in there and do not let her control you and your emotions right now. This was not about you, but her and her selfish ways, I had to learn that ! After that it all falls into place and then you can think again, about what you want. I know you want to know HOW AND WHY this happened, only she can answer that now, but be prepared she will lie abou that as well.....the lies are there, you have to pay attention. She will lie not to hurt you further, but mostly to save face for what she has done...she needs to face herself now and what she has done, then she will feel the affects of her actions.
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