Monty P Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 I'm not sure if this should be here or in the rants section. And I'm not really sure what I am looking for out of this. This is about my "friend" from other posts. We went out Saturday, and I had intended on finally having the "talk" with her about what we are. Things actually seemed like they were going well throughout the night and I felt really good about getting a positive response. We stopped at the bar for one after our real plans for the night, and this is where things got a bit side-tracked. It is a long story about the night, so I won't bore you with it, but I will say, she ended up a bit drunk by the time we left. And because of the story, I wasn't actually able to have the "talk". We got back to her place, and this is where I made a decision that I'm hoping was the right one. If I would have pushed a bit (a very little bit), I could have spent the night with her. As much as I wanted that to happen, I'm not sure it would have been right at that point, because of her being drunk, and I just went home. Any other girl wouldn't have been a problem, but she is a friend, not just a girl I met at a bar, I almost felt like I would have just been taking advantage of her being drunk. Why I'm not sure if it was the right decision is because of the way the night as a whole, was going, not just after we got to the bar. This post probably doesn't make any sence, but please feel free to comment, yell at me, smack me around a bit if it was the wrong decision, ect...lol... Thanks for listening
underpants Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Yes, I do think you made the right decision. Maybe you should talk to her and let her know how you came to that decision and that it was done out of respect. Maybe even a little validation that you do like her and would like to see her again. Then ask her to on another date if that is your wish. You'll get her.
truckdriving Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Without a doubt you made the right decision. Only an a**hole would take advantage of a woman when they are drunk. Dont beat youself up over it.
Pedigree Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Chalk up another yes to your question. You obviously want her to be sober if you're going to have the "talk".
Author Monty P Posted December 10, 2007 Author Posted December 10, 2007 Thank you. Yes, I do think you made the right decision. Maybe you should talk to her and let her know how you came to that decision and that it was done out of respect. Maybe even a little validation that you do like her and would like to see her again. Then ask her to on another date if that is your wish. You'll get her. I talked to her a bit today (Sunday) already. We didn't really talk much about the night. She did say that she didn't remember much about the night after a certain point. I told her I would fill her in the next time we get togeather.lol.. I will defiantly keep trying. Without a doubt you made the right decision. Only an a**hole would take advantage of a woman when they are drunk. Dont beat youself up over it. :oAdmittedly, I have done this a few times in the past with girls I met at bars. (one nighters), luckily, I think, their hasn't been any regrets from either side. I think I defiantly would have been the a**hole if I let it go any farther. She is too good of a friend. Chalk up another yes to your question. You obviously want her to be sober if you're going to have the "talk". ..lol...Her sober, yes,...me sober...not so sure..lol..
Pedigree Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 ..lol...Her sober, yes,...me sober...not so sure..lol.. Is it because you don't want to remember if things don't turn out so well?
Author Monty P Posted December 10, 2007 Author Posted December 10, 2007 Is it because you don't want to remember if things don't turn out so well? Sadly, I seem to have this small problem with remembering EVERYTHING I do or say, no matter how drunk I get:mad: I think it's just more along the lines of a bit of liquid courage thing...lol.. I'm usually a fairly confident guy, and would actually prefer to be sober myself, but the confidence has ha tendency to disappear occasionally, (usually at the most inopportune moments:laugh:)
Author Monty P Posted December 10, 2007 Author Posted December 10, 2007 I feel I need to add that she did basically tell me I could stay. I guess I just feel like I have be doing allot of second guessing lately. Like me, she has a hard time expressing her feelings with certain things, and I guess I'm just not sure if she is giving me signs/opportunities to make a move, if this is her way of telling me to say/try something, or if I am just reading too much into certain things. I am hoping to take her out againg later this week. I think, talking about Saturday night would be a good way to bring up where things are going with us.
desertguy Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Sadly, I seem to have this small problem with remembering EVERYTHING I do or say, no matter how drunk I get:mad: I think it's just more along the lines of a bit of liquid courage thing...lol.. I'm usually a fairly confident guy, and would actually prefer to be sober myself, but the confidence has ha tendency to disappear occasionally, (usually at the most inopportune moments:laugh:) I know all about the "liquid courage" thing, but it's a good idea to be sober and have a clear head when you have the "talk", otherwise you may say a bunch of things you will regret later (I know from experience). Think of it this way, if this woman means this much to you, and this is a fairly important milestone in a relationship, doesn't she (and you also) deserve to be sober then? If it doesn't go well, then get as hammered as you want afterwards.
Sunblast Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 If I would have pushed a bit (a very little bit), I could have spent the night with her. As much as I wanted that to happen, I'm not sure it would have been right at that point, because of her being drunk, and I just went home. And this is why "nice" guys hardly ever get laid and get "lucky" if they do! Bro... if you want a woman and have a chance with a woman, DO IT. This is how relationships start. You f-ck, and later she sobers up and thinks, okay, we did it, that means it was meant to be, or that means I really like him because I wouldn't've done it if I don't like him, etc. OP, it's not natural (it's not in accordance with your male nature) to think like this. It's in accordance with your male nature to f-ck her if you a) want her and b) can. You aren't acting masculine if you do otherwise, and to her, that looks like her belching would look to you! Women don't belch, men do, so that's not feminine and not sexy. Men f-ck women they want without thinking much about it, if they don't, it's not masculine and not sexy.
Sunblast Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Man, not only am I Speaker for the Male Half of LS* but I give good advice; I should write a book. ________ * See the post on the subject.
Pedigree Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Sadly, I seem to have this small problem with remembering EVERYTHING I do or say, no matter how drunk I get Me too . It's always like sober me just becomes a passive observer as drunk me takes over.
Author Monty P Posted December 10, 2007 Author Posted December 10, 2007 I know all about the "liquid courage" thing, but it's a good idea to be sober and have a clear head when you have the "talk", otherwise you may say a bunch of things you will regret later (I know from experience). Think of it this way, if this woman means this much to you, and this is a fairly important milestone in a relationship, doesn't she (and you also) deserve to be sober then? If it doesn't go well, then get as hammered as you want afterwards. :laugh:This might happen regardless of how it goes, she says yes...PARTY...she says no...I hope my problem with remembering things takes a brake for the night...lol.. I do think it would be better sober on both sides. And this is why "nice" guys hardly ever get laid and get "lucky" if they do! Bro... if you want a woman and have a chance with a woman, DO IT. This is how relationships start. You f-ck, and later she sobers up and thinks, okay, we did it, that means it was meant to be, or that means I really like him because I wouldn't've done it if I don't like him, etc. OP, it's not natural (it's not in accordance with your male nature) to think like this. It's in accordance with your male nature to f-ck her if you a) want her and b) can. You aren't acting masculine if you do otherwise, and to her, that looks like her belching would look to you! Women don't belch, men do, so that's not feminine and not sexy. Men f-ck women they want without thinking much about it, if they don't, it's not masculine and not sexy. This is what I am worried about. I don't think she would have let anything happen if she realy didn't want it to, but, at one time(a long time ago) she would have. She has had a bit of a rough past. Not bad persay, just rough. Knowing her for as long as I have, I know she has changed her outlook/views on things, happly for the better, but the first thing that...(second thing actually..lol) came into my head, was the thought of her jumping out of bed in the mourning, with the OH F**K what did I do last night, look on her face. I could handle her saying she dosen't want to date, but I don't know that I could handle the next day regret if she actually didn't want that to happen, and didn't want to risk the friendship over it. Me too . It's always like sober me just becomes a passive observer as drunk me takes over. :laugh:Exactly:laugh:
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