Lila Posted June 3, 2003 Posted June 3, 2003 Recently I received a gift from my boyfriend, which came from China (so it can't be returned.) It is a set of pearl earrings, necklace, and ring. Unfortunately, the earrings are almost the size of my earlobes (so I would never wear them.) The ring does not fit and is not my style. Though the necklace is pretty, I would never wear it. Is it wrong to sell the jewelry on Ebay? He seems to really like the jewelry and keeps mentioning that it is "real" and "high quality". He asked me if given another opportunity if he should pick up a set for my sister. I said no because she would never wear it (as a hint.) So, is it wrong to sell a gift from a boyfriend?
Leikela Posted June 3, 2003 Posted June 3, 2003 [color=indigo] I would say in this case it would be wrong. He bought it for you as a gift and a generous gesture. He obviously is proud that he got it for you and you want to sell if off?? What ever happened to open communication in a relationship? You don't feel close enough to your boyfriend to tell him that while the thought was nice you would never wear it? I think it would be worse to just sell it off without telling him how you feel about it first. That would just be rude. [/color]
yes Posted June 3, 2003 Posted June 3, 2003 tell him you appreciate it but it's not your style. then sell it, together, and use the money to buy something you like, also together - you can explain what suits you and why while you shop, so that he's better prepared for the next gift he buys on his own =) -yes
Tony T Posted June 3, 2003 Posted June 3, 2003 It doesn't sound like you really care about this guy. Go ahead and sell it and enjoy the cash. One day, this guy will probably find out you sold the gifts he gave you with his heart on eBay. By that time he will have found a lady who cherishes what he gives her for the sentimental value and loves them for the thoughts they represent. It's tragic that the guy doesn't know your tastes in jewelry well enough to know what to get you. I think that's very much his fault. If you're ever a mother, just wait and see what kinds of things your kids give you sometimes. I pray with all my heart they won't see you selling their stuff on eBay.
Gray Posted June 3, 2003 Posted June 3, 2003 OMG I side with Tony on this one. I'm scared. Someone hold me.
Author Lila Posted June 3, 2003 Author Posted June 3, 2003 I guess the best thing to do is to sit him down and talk to him. I know it's the thought that counts, but I'd rather not see a pricey item collect dust in the closet. By the way, I can only imagine the things children give parents. Of course, children don't have credit cards and anything done with crayons is priceless.
quankanne Posted June 3, 2003 Posted June 3, 2003 [color=cyan]It's tragic that the guy doesn't know your tastes in jewelry well enough to know what to get you. I think that's very much his fault.[/color] au contraire, Tony; I've been married awhile, and STILL have to remind my husband that my tastes in jewelry are not necessarily his. He likes things big and gaudy looking, I prefer simple and understated, and we get into disagreements over what I "need." Though in his defense, he does point out pieces he thinks I might like but gets my opinion before purchasing anything. Lila has a valid point about not wanting to see a gift collect dust ... even if it's cause for argument, it's better to tell someone that you appreciate the thought, but the gift is really not something that suits you for X reason. I make it a point to tell family members that if for some reason they can't use what I give them (for whatever reasons), to PLEASE pass it along to someone who is able to use it, because I'd rather see someone enjoy it than have them stuck with something they can't or won't use.
Tony T Posted June 3, 2003 Posted June 3, 2003 It's tragic that your husband is not sufficiently astute to understand your taste in jewelry. I don't think it's rocket science to communicate with somebody over a period of time and learn intuitively what they will like and what they won't. I don't have a problem with doing this at all. Am I the exception? It would seem that most men who care about their wives would take the time to study their tastes so they can give them suitable surprises here and there.
quankanne Posted June 3, 2003 Posted June 3, 2003 I don't think it's rocket science to communicate with somebody over a period of time and learn intuitively what they will like and what they won't. ... Am I the exception? yes, you are. As you point out, most guys who care will take the time to become familiar with their wives' tastes, and for the most part, mine concedes to my likes. However, sometimes people latch on to a gift idea, thinking it'd be perfect for a designated recipient because THEY like it so much for that person, not because it actually suits the recipient! My husband is guilty of this ... but then again I also do this, especially when it comes to clothes.
Just A Girl2 Posted June 3, 2003 Posted June 3, 2003 Are you strapped for cash or something? I think there's tons of times in our lives where a loved one buys us a well-intentioned gift that doesn't turn our crank. STuff like that happens. What's the big deal with just keeping this set he lovingly took the time and caring to buy for you, and forget about it? Just because you don't like it doesn't mean you can't still keep it. Is there some reason you're opposed to having it in your possession? How many women would give their left kidney to have a thoughtful guy who would take the time to buy them a gift like this. If I gave a guy a gift and screwed up and it somehow wasn't his style, and he went out behind my back and sold it, I'd think he was a jerk and pretty tacky to boot. Sometimes it doesn't matter one damn bit if the gift is something we like or can use....it's about the love behind the gift...the fact that someone took the time out of their day to think of us and to buy something they thought would make us happy. THAT to me is worth more than all the TEA in China.
jessicakicksbut Posted June 4, 2003 Posted June 4, 2003 If you feel bad about not having the jewerly being used, maybe loan it out to family members or close friends if they need it for a special occassion (ex. Mother, Grandmother), just to at least share it if you feel bad about having it go to "waste". Don't just give it away or sell it though, that is very insultive.
Author Lila Posted June 8, 2003 Author Posted June 8, 2003 Loaning it out to others? That's a good idea. I'm sure it would come in handy for special occasions, like when people get married. I guess it would hurt him too much to get rid of it. Maybe I can just look at it once and while just to admire it, but not wear it.
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