Brokenman21 Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 my girlfreind and I have been together for over 2 years now. At the start of the relationship, I guarded myself... didn't open up and such because of previous experiences. She cheated on me, (with her ex) she says not out of revenge. We moved past that incident and I still didn't change, no matter how much she pleaded. She left me. We got back together a little while after, moved in together, and she cheated on me again after a few months (again, with her ex). I was heart broken... I didn't know what to do or where to turn. I found it in my heart to forgive her again. Beleiving that this time... this time we would be happy. She got accepted to a college a few provinces away from our home so we both moved out so she could go to school. A little while ago, she went home for a few days, I stayed behind. While she was there, she cheated on me again, with the same guy. It's been over a year and some that this has happened... I finaly trusted her again, then she took that and broke it... again... I hate it out here, I moved not just for her but for me too. I needed a change, but none the less, I was here for her. I found out about her cheating and we've since broken up. I know she's sorry, and I know she feels guilty, I also know that she loves me. Though I don't see how, she feels very strongly that she does. She sat down tonight and wrote out a 10 page letter on why she cheated, why she lied, what she's going to do about it, and how much she misses me. I've been gone from our appartment for 11 hours now. I still feel love toward her, but there's just so much pain. I know she wants to try again, but what about me? How do I let this go again? How do I know it wont happen again? I don't want to hurt anymore... help?
madgun68 Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 The only person that is going to be able to help you in this matter is yourself. You're going to have to look down deep and decide what you want to do. All anyone can really do is help you look at this clearly, which can be hard to do. I would approach this as two separate issues.. Being able to forgive her and being able to trust her. Tackle each one individually and take the time to reach a clear and firm decision on each of them. Remember.. You may still love her but that doesn't mean that, because of that love, you can do either of these things. Love isn't always warm and fuzzy. Sometimes, even though we love someone, we need to let them go because that love just isn't right for us. Cheating and trust can be very difficult to get over. More so than people realize. You may never be able to fully trust her again that lack of trust itself could drive you apart in the future. I would start by telling her you need time and space.. That neither of you are to discuss these matters until you've had time (as much as you need) to process how you really feel. Good luck. You shoulder a heavy burden.
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