kitkat289 Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Me and my ex are still on talking terms and he's very much into me but its not like that honeymoon phase anymore and infact he doesnt feel the constant need to call me often. We discussed about the future last night as I was worrying that when he comes to my city(he will have a job here most probably),it would be hard to resist meeting him but I actually dont want to see him.Iam the dumpee and I still suffer much more than he can see.I was telling him "I know no matter how hard I try, we will meet within 2-4weeks and I dont know why Iam so sure that we will be in a committed relationship in no time at all." And hearing this, he said he was also thinking about that once and asked me why I was thinking so much and asked "why do you worry?we'll do what our heart says..." I told him that I did nt want to mess-up( I meant that I didnt want to be in that vicious circle of breaking-up and patching-up again and like always being a "give" most of the times) Well I know I NEED TO CHANGE my attitude,my constant need for validation... Everyday I plan not to call him up and I was sooo determined tonight also that I was quite sure that I will do it but ended up calling him.He was sleeping,didnt pick up as the phone was on silent mode.I called atleast 4-5times continuosly and felt really bad for doing this Please tell me how to HAVE A LIFE?? Its not that Iam thinking of him day and night.I dont do that since the insecurity is also going away slowly. The whole day I kept telling myself that last night was awesome and so now I wont call him up until he calls and for that I might have to wait as long as 1 week! and I was ready for it but in the night I just gave in to my temptation and was really wondering "How could he just sleep without calling me once...afterall we had a great 2hours conversation the previous night and he had told me that our relationship is like that of a gf-bf...and things could become better than ever before.we should leave it on time" I dont know HOW TO STOP MYSELF from CALLING HIM??The maximum NC I did was 2 weeks during which I could only gain one thing--not to checkout his scrapbook and not even open his profile page.And this is the only good thing that I've still been doing and is really easy.Iam not tempted anymore about the things he does online. But these days all my efforts of feeling content with being single are going in vain.Iam busy throught the day with my work and I fully enjoy my break listening to music and talk to my friends but I just dont know what happens to me in the night.I completely lost it...
polywog Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Well, you're not busy at night and you are still in withdrawl over the relationship. It just takes time to get over someone.... believe me! I've been there! So at night you have nothing to distract you and you can't help thinking about him. It's hard not to obsess at these times. Forgive yourself. You just need to give it time. Maybe you Will make the mistake of breaking NC or looking at his scrapbook, etc., but one of your options is posting here instead. Or even looking at all the other threads about the same thing, there are plenty and it's helpful to know you aren't alone in this. This will help you a lot in your effort to stay in NC. It's awful to feel alone with this stuff, and LS will show you that you aren't. It will be a comfort. Good luck, and hang in there. It gets easier (there are plenty of threads that proove that, too!)
Author kitkat289 Posted December 10, 2007 Author Posted December 10, 2007 thanks polywog:) I had called him 4-5 times last night while he was asleep and this is the first time in so many days that he called back just 5min ago.Its so good that my phone was on 'silent' and I checked out his 2 missed calls later.I have decided to go NC from my side and I will attend his call (that too not always) Afterall that moron needs to be shown what its like when you are waiting and just cant throw away your phone out of sight.
Author kitkat289 Posted December 10, 2007 Author Posted December 10, 2007 and he must have called to remind me to email him my new pics which I wouldnt do unless he calls and requests me again.
November Rain Posted February 8, 2008 Posted February 8, 2008 If it helps write yourself note and put them by the phone or tape them on your phone. 1. To keep my sanity and end this relationship, I must maintain NO CONTACT! 2. No contact includes every single form of contact with him/her. 2a. This also includes...DO NOT ask friends/family about him/her and DO NOT let friends/family tell you about him/her. 3. I will not e-mail him/her. 4. I will not call him/her. 5. I will not send him/her letter, cards for any occasion or notes of any kind. 6. I will not text message, 2-way, fax or page him/her. 7. If he/she calls me, I will hang up immediately, or not answer the phone at all. 8. If he/she leaves a voice mail or message on answering machine, I will delete it without listening to it. (Anything he/she says is done to draw me back into his/her web of insanity.) 9. If he/she e-mails e, I will delete the message without reading it or responding to it. 10. If he/she mails me a card, letter or note of any type, I will throw it in the trash left unread. 11. If he/she 2-ways me, text-voice mail messages or pages me, I will delete the message or the phone number and not listen to the message or return his/her call. 12. If I am ever tempted to do anything listed from 1-11, I will go to the NC Thread immediately and post. It's a good thread, don't know how to link it here...this is my first day as a member... Just for starters...I keep the list with me and a calendar to mark NC days. We've been separated 4 months tomorrow, were married 12 years together 15 years. It is so hard.......the NC thing. LOVE MANY, TRUST A FEW, BUT LEARN TO PADDLE YOUR OWN CANOE!!!
Recommended Posts