ImThinkingWTF Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 ugh, so...ive been casually seeing this guy for the past 4 weeks or so. I dont usually get this interested in men because, i think i gave up a long time ago. but, I met this guy...and we have gone on quite a few dates. the chemistry is there...we always have the best, most intense kisses. he always compliments me, he is so sweet and when we are together he always alludes that we are going to be seeing a lot of each other. for example he'll make a comment like "is this what is going to happen everytime we go do such and such". Which leads me to believe that he wants to see more of me. when he hasnt seen me for a while he tells me that he missed me. i asked him when we were going to hang out and he said i dont know, we will figure it out. i knoooow i shouldnt have said this but i asked him if he even wanted to hang out...and he said of course he does. I dont know if I am being overly sensitive because it has been so long since ive been interested in a guy like i am in him--even my bestfriend pointed this out. So, pretty much when we are together everything couldnt be better and I feel silly for even worrying about whether or not he likes me. now, the times that we are apart i wonder if he is really into me or not. He rarely calls. I was being an idiot the other day and mentioned something about that the other day and he said that he calls me alllll the time. wtf? he miiiight call me once a week. is that an acceptable number of times to call when you start seeing someone? soooometimes we talk through email. I also get the feeling from things that he has mentioned that he really doesnt want a relationship. he has made comments about how his ex really broke his heart. i think they broke up about 8 months ago. he posted a bulletin which asked the question if you could go back in time and still be with your ex would you and he said yes..... this is the part that is most troubling to me now...if you were in my situation...what would you do? what would you think? Part of me wants to just walk away...but, the other part really wants to give him a chance. also....how dumb would it be to ask him what the deal is? im not asking for a relationship right now...at all...i just want to get to know him better. and i want to know if thats going to be happening or not. my friend told me to just sit back and not contact him. good advice?
EYECANDY000 Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 First thing first you should point out to him how he only calls once a week and its not all the time.. Dont say itin a way that will give him the impression that you are a control freak already. Once a week is definately not enough. Im sorry but guys are absent minded.. maybe he dont realize that he calls only once a week. secondly , since the relationship is still so new, just take it day by day and see how it goes. Dont end something so quick if he hasnt given you a reason to. Feel out the situation first .. But as far as him going back into time and being with his ex.. 1) she is his ex for a reason. maybe they had a lot of problems and couldnt reconcile.. im sure he probaly still loves her if hes saying he would still be with her.. but he just dont want to be with her.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 First of all.....CHILL. You are too wound up. Relax, take a bath and chill. Second, this time is the "feel out" period in the relationship. Let him be the aggressor and let him make the moves, (calls, dates, hangs). Go with his flow. I'm not saying you have to like it. But this is letting you know what he's like. If you tell him what you want from him (at this time) he may do it just to satisfy you. Let him tell you by his actions how much or little he cares. Now, he maybe trying to take it slow. I don't buy the absent mindedness (don't they remember to where your booty is when they want sex?). Follow his lead. If he calls once a week, then it's casual and maybe you want to act that way to his calls. After a few weeks, if the calls are more frequent, then the pattern he is showing is more interest, which of course, if that's what you want is a good thing.
Author ImThinkingWTF Posted December 10, 2007 Author Posted December 10, 2007 First thing first you should point out to him how he only calls once a week and its not all the time.. Dont say itin a way that will give him the impression that you are a control freak already. Once a week is definately not enough. Im sorry but guys are absent minded.. maybe he dont realize that he calls only once a week. haha, pat of me thinks that he really does think that once a week is plenty...because he made a comment about me being hard to get in touch with! haha, i was like...you dont even call. but whatever. I don't buy the absent mindedness (don't they remember to where your booty is when they want sex?). Follow his lead. If he calls once a week, then it's casual and maybe you want to act that way to his calls. After a few weeks, if the calls are more frequent, then the pattern he is showing is more interest, which of course, if that's what you want is a good thing. i think thats very good advice...gah...hes making me all giddy and crazy
Author ImThinkingWTF Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 quick question....... would it be a totally bad idea to send him an email asking him what the deal is? I was thinking of saying something like this: "Whenever I meet someone new...and I hit it off with them, I am inclined to try to get to know them better and I would really like to get to know you better. But, I am starting to get the feeling that you dont share the same sentiment. Its not necessary to talk on the phone everyday but, a call every now and then would be nice. So, am I totally off base or have you lost interest?"
Lauriebell82 Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 quick question....... would it be a totally bad idea to send him an email asking him what the deal is? I was thinking of saying something like this: "Whenever I meet someone new...and I hit it off with them, I am inclined to try to get to know them better and I would really like to get to know you better. But, I am starting to get the feeling that you dont share the same sentiment. Its not necessary to talk on the phone everyday but, a call every now and then would be nice. So, am I totally off base or have you lost interest?" No that might freak him out. I think you should jsut start calling him more. Like not stalker type calling, but iniate calls. My boyfriend NEVER called me when we first started seeing each other, we would just talk online or text me. So I started calling him. And we had wonderful conversations! He told me that he usually hates talking on the phone, but felt comfortable talking to me. And now when we are not together we talk on the phone every day! So maybe he just isn't a phone person and needs a little nudge in the right direction.
NYCHottie Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 You can if you want to come off as super needy. Just back off and let him pursue you. If he doesnt, then you have your answer, and you can move on.
Author ImThinkingWTF Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 argh, i dont think im needy and i sure dont want him to think im needy...i just want to know what the deal is....
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